Living With a Temperamental Adonis: 99 Proclamations of Love

He knew that he was dying, and this was possibly his last breath. What were the final thoughts in one’s mind at death’s door? Despair? Panic? Hopelessness?

Qin Yinan couldn’t tell. The only feeling he had then was a sense of weightlessness; everything had become frivolous, well, everything but one. With the last shred of his clarity, he turned his eyes trying to locate the yacht.

He wanted to know whether the cruise had survived the explosion.

Through the raining sea water, he caught a glimpse of the ship speeding steadily away, and it was then that his palpitating heart started to calm.

Song Song is safe… Qin Yinan felt a wave of thankfulness wash over him, but immediately following that was a wave of melancholy, one that threatened his eyes with tears.

I still remember Song Song used to find me the moment she came into some trouble, but where was I? I promised Song Cheng that I would look after her, but I’ve failed… I’ve disappointed her again and again until she lost all hope in me.

After that? When he finally understood everything, even if he had a million reason to be good to her, he had lost the right to be by her side. He had so many more advantages compared to Su Zhinian—he knew Song Qingchun way before Su Zhinian, he had once been closer to Song Qingchun than Su Zhinian, and he had once treated Song Qingchun better than Su Zhinian—but… he had also hurt Song Qingchun perhaps even more than Su Zhinian.

Actually, these past few months he had been thinking. What if they weren’t toyed with by fate? What if they didn’t accidentally take the wrong steps for so many times? What if Song Song… what if Song Song had waited for him?

Alas, love was something that had zero to no patience.

Their story was like a sad comedy. When she pined to be by his side, he had never once considered her; when he wanted her to be his girlfriend, she had already moved on.

What could he do?

The only thing he could do was act like he still didn’t know, pretend like he didn’t have her in his heart.

The only thing he could do was to protect her happiness when she needed it the most.

Was this how he planned to make up to her?

He had once shattered the love she had for him, and now he was going to sacrifice himself to fulfil the love she had for another man.

Was it enough to make up for all the heartache he had caused her?

Song Song, certain things in life you’ll never know.

But I’ve lived up to my promise.

May you hold my hand in love and companionship, but may good fortune hold yours in parting and solitude.

Song Song, I’m really sorry.

The sea was unusually quiet after the great disaster. Qin Yinan drifted in and out of the surface of the sea. Many thoughts filled his mind, and slowly but surely, drowsiness caught up to him. Qin Yinan slowly closed his eyes because he felt like sleeping.

Time seemed to regress right there and then. He seemed to return to his childhood, and he smiled at the memory of the little girl who loved to cower in his chest and talk to him in her babyish words.

The little girl with two cute ponytails, the little girl who trailed behind him often, calling him Brother Yinan, Brother Yinan.

The little princess who bounced into his bedroom and sprawled her text book open before him, pleading, “Brother Yinan, can you please teach me?”

Also, the girl who wrote the single sentence that defined his youth, the most beautiful period of his life.

I wish the greatest happiness for the ones who love me, and I wish the one who I love, loves me back.

Her name was Song Qingchun.