Like a Memory

Why was I engaged? I didn’t want to be married. Hell, I was too fucking young to be married. What was my problem? Had I been desperate to get out of Rosemary that I thought marriage was the answer? Jesus at some point I’d lost my mind.

I wanted easy and Octavia was easy? Hell no! There was no easy relationships. Marriage was the hardest of them all. Why in God’s name had I thought that was a good idea?

Picking up my phone I texted her just that:

Why the fuck are we engaged? I don’t want to be married. And damned if you do. We don’t fit.

I paused and took another drink before I pressed send. Because this was it. I was telling the truth and with that came a consequence. I was ending it with Octavia. Pressing send was the end. She wasn’t dramatic and she wouldn’t beg me to stay. She’d take that as doubt and she’d walk away. Easy. So fucking easy.

I pressed send.

Staring at the doors to Live Bay I wondered if Bliss was in there. Was she why I’d just pressed send? Would this make a difference in my decision about her? She wasn’t easy. That hadn’t changed. And I didn’t want marriage. Possibly ever. She would.

My phone didn’t vibrate a response. There was no sudden argument from Octavia. She didn’t have an answer for me either. She said nothing. I drank two thirds of the bottle before I finally decided maybe I should go inside. See Bliss. Because she was why I was sitting here hammered off my ass after all.

It took me three tries before I could find the door knob. Even then I couldn’t manage to open it. Sighing, I closed my eyes and laid my head back. Fuck this. I couldn’t drive if I couldn’t open the damn door. So I’d do what? Sleep here all night? Shit. Just what I wanted Bliss to see if she was here. Me passed out in my truck.

A knock on the door startled me and I turned my head to see Eli fucking Hardy standing there. He was in his polo shirt and his perfectly styled hair. There was that judgmental frown on his face that made you just want to punch him in the nose. Or maybe it just made me want to punch him in the nose. Bliss didn’t seem to want to hurt him because he was tidy and clean.

But hell what a bore that was. He had to bore her to death. He bored me by just looking at him. I wanted to close my eyes and go back to passing out. But he knocked again and I knew he wasn’t going to leave me alone.

I tried again to open the door and after a few attempts finally managed it. Mr. Perfect’s frown was even deeper by the time I got it open and that made me want to slam the door back. I would if I could figure out how to . . .

“You smell like whisky,” were his oh so wise words.

“No shit,” I drawled. He was a fucking Einstein.

“Why are you here? Bliss gets off work in a few minutes and this isn’t something he needs to see.”

Well ain’t he thoughtful. Worried about Bliss seeing me drunk. Why? Had she never seen a drunk man before? I figured she had seeing as she was working at a damn club. I doubted she would be too shocked by what I was doing.

“She would be,” he replied angrily.

“Huh?” Had he just read my thoughts?

Eli shook his head. “Move over. I’m driving you home.”

The hell he was. I managed a laugh then. A loud one. Eli Hardy thought he was going to save me? I laughed harder.

“She will be out here any minute. You’re drunk and being a complete dick. She doesn’t need to see this. You’ve hurt her enough.”

Wait . . . what? I hadn’t hurt her. I was gentle with her. Explained myself. I had fucking destroyed me apparently but I’d been good to her. I didn’t want to hurt her.

Eli was staring at me. What was his problem?

“She needs to move on,” he once again replied as if he knew what I was thinking. Weird shit.

“I’m sleeping here. She won’t see me,” I argued.

“Your truck is parked right here. How will she miss it?”

Good point. “Well she won’t know I’m in it. You can’t see me in the dark.”

“I saw you,” he shot back. “Now move over. I’m taking you home.”

I wasn’t going to Octavia’s. I was pretty damn sure I’d just broken it off with her or had I dreamed that? Maybe I should text her again to be sure.

“What is your problem? Do you not care that you’re hurting her?”

There he was with the hurting again. I hadn’t hurt her. “I’m not hurting her.”

He was the one to laugh this time but he didn’t laugh like he meant it. Instead he sounded hard and cold. Like he was the one annoyed. Hell what did he have to be annoyed with. This was my fucking truck he was invading.

“Eli? Nate?” there was her voice. I’d dreamed about that voice.

“Bliss,” I said wanting Eli to move so I could see her. I missed her.

“I got this. You go on home,” Eli said not moving.

“You got what?” she asked and I started to say something when she moved in front of him moving him back away from the door with her small body.

“Oh God. You stink of whisky. Are you okay?”

I was now. If she’d climb up in this truck I’d be more than okay. “Just drunk sweetheart. Not anything serious.”

She looked concerned. “I’m driving you home. Eli you follow us so you can give me a ride home.”

“No, I’ll drive him,” Eli offered.

“He doesn’t want you to. I’ll drive him.”

“No, Bliss.”

“Eli, stop. You don’t get to make decisions for me.”

I wanted to agree with that but I had a hard time keeping my eyes open.

“Do you even know where he is staying? He’s wasted. He can’t remember shit.”

“I know Octavia’s house. I worked for her remember.”

That was when I needed to find my words and open my damn eyes. I couldn’t go there. Not now.

“I think, no, I’m positive, I think I’m positive. Fuck if I can remember but I am pretty damn sure that I broke up with her. Can’t go to her house.”

“What?” That was Bliss and I wanted to focus on her face. She was blurry though. It wasn’t easy. I’d missed that face. That smile. Those eyes. And when it is put right in front of me I can’t even focus on it. Fucking shame.

“What? Oh, yeah, I don’t want to be married.”

There as silence then.

“He can go to his grandfather’s.” That was Eli.

“No. Not like this. We will take him to our place.”

“What?” Eli’s tone almost made me laugh.

“Don’t be difficult. He’s almost passed out. Just let me take him to our place. He can sleep it off on the sofa and figure things out in the morning. He’s obviously upset.”

I kept my eyes closed because this was sounding better and better.

“He hurt you, Bliss.”

She didn’t reply right away and I wanted to ask her about that. See if he was right. I didn’t mean to hurt her. I’d never want that.

“I know. But he needs me. That’s all that matters right now.”

My chest felt warm and tight. If I could I’d find a way to make this all right. But at the moment the darkness clawing at me won out and the world went quiet. There were no more voices to hear.

Bliss York

ELI WAS FURIOUS. Okay maybe that was an exaggeration. Eli was mad at me. That was the truth. I’d driven Nate back to our place last night and managed to get him to walk from the truck to the sofa in our living room. He’d said a lot of things I knew were drunken ramblings but they’d been nice. They’d been so nice I had stayed up most of the night thinking about them.