Let Me Love You

When Jaylinn has a nightmare it scares the hell out of me. I asked one time what she does when I’m out on the road, she said that she runs late at night until she’s exhausted and can barely function, and then passes out and sleeps straight through. I wonder if she just told me that for my benefit because now that I can’t sleep, I can’t imagine what she did. I wonder how her mom is coping with hearing what her daughter is dealing with. Jaylinn and her mom have always and will forever be close. It’s the kind of relationship that every parent should have with their kid. I wonder if Jaylinn will find the strength to talk to her mom, I think she needs to and I’ve told her that time and time again.

Mason waves a hand in front of my face. I pull my headphones out of my ears and slow the treadmill down. “What’s up?”

He lifts his head in the direction of the door; I turn my head to see Jaylinn walking in the door of the gym. I wonder what she’s doing here; this isn’t normally the gym she goes to. A small petite blonde with big green eyes, Layla, follows behind her and they are laughing at some guy in front of them.

I shake my head and grab for my towel to wipe the sweat away.

“Who is that?” Mason asks.

I shrug a shoulder, “Layla, she’s on Jaylinn’s team.”

Mason nods, “Who’s the dude?”

I shrug again, kind of pissed but appearing like I don’t really give a shit. “No clue.” I stop the treadmill and grab my water bottle and iPhone from the cup holder. I need to get the hell out of here, I was planning on doing a full workout but now that she’s here I’ve got to go. It hurts to see her, especially laughing and smiling.

I look back over my shoulder, allowing myself one more look. The guy that was with them kisses the top of Layla’s head. Thank God because I’m not sure I’d be able to control myself if it was Jay’s head he was kissing. I’d probably go over there a beat the shit out of him just because I’m in that kind of mood today.

Mason follows behind me towards the locker room. “Kenz was asking about you last night.” Mason chuckles. “She’s pretty pissed off at you.” Of course Mason would find that funny. Stupid f**ker. “She said that she’s only seen you at the hospital and that’s it.”

I feel like a dick because I’ve been avoiding everyone, not wanting to deal with what’s going on, and I sure as hell didn’t want to deal with my hormonal sister. MacKenzie has called and left at least two crying voicemails saying how much she misses me. She should be too busy with her family to be worried about me and my shit.

“Yeah, I figured I’d be on her shit list.” I sigh, knowing what I need to do. “I’ll stop by on my way home.”

Mason pats me on my shoulder, “Good luck with that.”

“Thanks ass**le.” I mutter under my breath.

I pull up in the driveway behind Hunter’s truck and take a second to collect my thoughts on what I’m going to say to my sister when she starts questioning me about Jaylinn. This is where I wish for that chemical dependency again. If I was on drugs, well then maybe I’d be able to lie about everything. Or at least not feel this pain.

Not knowing what to do, I rest my head against the steering wheel, I’m so tired and yet I still can’t fall asleep.

Tapping on the window startles me. I look over and MacKenzie is standing outside my window with her hands on her hips, looking pissed. I pull the keys out of the ignition and open the door.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” MacKenzie asks the second the door is open.

“Hey Kenz, I missed you too.” I say rolling my eyes.

She pushes my shoulder with quick jab. “I’ve been calling and texting you for a week now. What the hell Coop?”

I tuck my hands in my pockets and rock back and forth on my feet. She isn’t pulling any punches here; she’s gone right for the kill. “I know and I’m sorry. I’ve been so busy with trying to get the club up and running before I leave for training.” It’s not all a lie. It’s mostly true so I don’t feel so bad about saying it. She doesn’t need to know the truth. “I barely have time to eat some nights.”

She doesn’t buy my lie at all.

“Stop bullshitting me, Cooper.” She reprimands me. “I know you had a fight with Jaylinn.”

I hang my head, “Yeah, we had a falling out but I really am busy with the club.”

Her teeth start to clatter from the cold. “Are you staying?”

“Of course, I miss my buddy, Chaos.”

She glares at me and cuts me off before I’m able to finish. “What about the rest of us, your baby niece, are we just chop liver now?”

I throw my arm around her shoulder and head inside. “I wasn’t finished.” I say, leaning into her. “You know I miss you all.”

When we step into the house, I remove my jacket and see Hunter standing there with baby Olivia wrapped in a new cozy pink blanket.

I smile at him, giving a nod at my sister. “Has she always been this feisty?” I ask Hunter.

I rub my hands together, warming them up before taking the baby from Hunter. “Only when her brother seems to ignore her,” Hunter says with a chuckle.

Well at least he doesn’t want to kill me for the shit that went down with his sister.

I’ll admit I miss everyone, it feels good even though I know it’s only a short lived feeling.

Ryder is getting so big, my niece is adorable, and my sister and Hunter are in bliss with their little family.

Hunter takes Ryder upstairs and puts him down for a nap, leaving my sister and Olivia in the living room. It’s then that I know exactly what’s coming. The interrogation.

“So,” MacKenzie says.

I lay my head back against the couch, playing dumb. “So.”

“You going to tell me what happened between you and Jay?” Olivia fusses a little before quieting down again. “Last we all knew, things were getting pretty hot on New Year’s and you two went home instead of coming here.” MacKenzie clears her throat. “Sadie was going to spend the night but forgot her bag so Hunter went over to his mom’s to grab it for her. He came back and he was pissed but wouldn’t tell us why.”

See, why didn’t I think of her hiding at her mom’s?

Probably because I was talking to a tequila bottle all night.

She must have pulled her car into the garage so I wouldn’t think she was there. It also explains why Hunter sent me that text message that night.