Let Me Be the One
Page 18Chapter Eighteen
"Leave your hands above your head."
Vicki's eyes widened at Ryan's command, but he didn't stop to soothe her surprise or laugh like he was joking. Instead, he wrapped her fingers around the arm of the couch.
"This will help if you need something to hold on to."
A second later, his mouth was back on hers for one more kiss before he began to run kisses over her face, her eyelids, her earlobes slipping between his teeth for a split second before he drew a small moan of pleasure from her at the flick of his tongue against her neck.
Even as she relished every single second of his attention, every one of his kisses, Vicki couldn't believe it.
Not any of it.
Was she really na**d beneath Ryan Sullivan? Was he really kissing her this passionately? Had she already cl**axed, fully clothed, on his couch, with another orgasm hard on the heels of the first if he kept kissing her like this?
And had he figured out the truth about her...that the slightest restraint and the gentle command spoke to all of her hidden desires?
Her ex-husband's crowd had derided her for not joining in their drug-fueled sexual explorations, but the thought of getting down and dirty with any of them had made her sick to her stomach. They'd called her a prude - her husband most of all - and she'd let them. Thank God she'd never dared bare her desires to Anthony after those first few years when he'd seemed blissfully happy just to be with her.
She tensed at the thought that she should be doing a better job of keeping her secrets from Ryan, too.
He lifted his mouth from the underside of her arm, where he was pressing soft kisses, and stared down at her, his eyes so dark with need he stole her breath away all over again.
"You just tensed up."
He was that in tune with her body? She'd barely stiffened, but Ryan had noticed.
"Have I done something you don't like? Am I being too rough? Do you need me to try to be gentler?"
She swallowed hard as she shook her head. "You know just how much I'm liking everything you're doing."
God, she hated the way she kept flushing practically every time she looked at or spoke to him, but she was still trying to make sense of what they were doing. Even more, though, she hated letting her ex into this glorious moment with Ryan for even one single second.
She wouldn't let it happen again.
Turning her full focus back to her gorgeous friend, she said, "I'm guessing I'm going to start liking it even more soon."
His grin came back then, and she swore it had to be the sexiest combination in the world, those dark, intense sex-eyes with the infectious smile.
"Good guess." He stole a kiss, nipping at her lower lip hard enough to sting in the most delicious way. "What about that? Still good?"
She worked to catch her breath. "Yes. Still good."
She loved getting another smile from him, realized she would have done practically anything at that point to get more.
He moved so that his lips were on the underside of her breast. The kiss came first, and then the slight pinch of his teeth on the incredibly sensitive flesh. His tongue licked out over the small hurt before he lifted his head.
"What about that?"
"Mmm," was all she could manage as he moved to give her other breast the same delicious attention. Finally, she managed to get the word, "Good," out of her mouth.
But then, oh God, he was moving lower, his lips kissing a path of goose bumps that turned into little licks of fire down the center of her stomach.
She wasn't embarrassed at the way she'd come against him earlier when he'd been playing with her br**sts and they'd been grinding together. But she already knew the second that wicked mouth of his made it between her legs, she wasn't going to have a prayer of holding back a second time.
What would he think of her going off again so soon? Would he think she was desperate and hard up? Or, worse, would he finally realize that sleeping with him was her number one sexual fantasy of all time?
No question about it, she needed to mentally prepare herself for the press of his lips against her core. Of course she was going to enjoy it. How could she not? But this time, she wouldn't let herself lose all sense.
She'd make sure she kept at least a small piece of herself secret. Private.
Another little bite of Ryan's teeth against her belly brought her out of her dark thoughts and she couldn't help but wonder if he was doing it on purpose to keep her from spinning off too long, too far, while they were together.
"If I had champagne I'd drink it from you," he said right before he licked a decadent path down to her belly button. "Right here." He moved lower and slightly to the side to lave her hipbone. "And just below here." With obvious intent, he moved to the other side of her hip. "Here, too."
How, she wondered helplessly as he played with her all-too-willing body, was she possibly going to make good on the silent vow she'd just made?
"Tell me, Vicki, would you like that?"
His voice was low. Raw with desire. And so damn sensual that she was practically coming apart again at nothing more than the way he was stringing words together.
"Would you want me to pour it between your br**sts and make you lie still until you're all clean again with nothing but my tongue?"
Seriously, was he trying to kill her?
When she didn't answer quickly enough, he nipped at her again, this time just below her belly button.
"Yes," she gasped, "I'd like it."
She caught the flash of his smile, heard him say, "Good, because I'd love it," before he lowered his head again.
All the while his mouth had been torturing her, his big, strong hands stroked down the undersides of her arms, and then her back, before moving beneath her h*ps and cradling her. He turned his head and pressed his cheek against her stomach, holding her like that for several long moments.
Vicki felt beyond precious - and so incredibly safe. And then, in a split second, one small shift of his thumbs against the insides of her thighs replaced safety with a spike of arousal so intense she was almost afraid of the power of it.
A heartbeat later, his mouth was on her and as he slicked over her with his tongue, slow and sure and so wonderful, all thoughts of fear or safety disappeared as if they'd never been there at all. She heard herself cry out as if from far, far away and her hands slipped from the couch arm as she came apart again, falling down deeper into pleasure with every pass of his tongue, with every wave that wracked her, radiating from her core and over her breasts, then down her limbs to the tips of every finger, to her toes.
The pleasure was sweet and heady and she felt better than she'd ever thought possible.
A moment later, Ryan was lifting her off the couch and heading for the stairs. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in the crook of his neck. He smelled like sex and sweat and Ryan.
If she could have bottled his scent, she thought with a sleepy satisfaction, she'd surely make millions.
"Good?"
She could hear the hint of laughter in his voice as he quizzed her on whether she'd enjoyed herself, and she smiled back even as she licked at his salty skin.
Oh, but he was yummy. She took another taste before finally answering him. "Really good."
"It was really good for me, too," he told her as he kicked open his bedroom door, laid her down on the big bed in the middle of the room, and quickly stripped the rest of his clothes off.
For the past week, every time she went to sleep in his guest room, she'd dreamed of being here instead. Only, even in her dreams she hadn't come close to the reality of just how gorgeous he was completely na**d.
"Great," she said without thinking, "you've just ruined me for anyone else."
He looked down at his groin - erect in all his aroused male glory - then back up to her with raised eyebrows, looking far too pleased with himself. "Good."
No, she thought, it wasn't good. It was horrible, because after this ridiculous fantasy came to an end and she had to rejoin the real world, she really was screwed. And not in a good way.
She'd already been a goner for his humor. His kindness. His talent. The way he loved his family and always put them first.
And now this?Still, he hadn't exactly launched himself at her since they'd come into his bedroom. Pushing away the slight disappointment at that fact, as a wave of exhaustion hit her while she stretched out on the bed, she told herself she was glad that the crazy fog of lust that had been clouding their brains finally seemed to be dissipating.
For one, she could speak to him normally again without all of the blushing and shyness that kept coming over her. He'd join her on the bed soon and they'd finish ha**g s*x and then she'd go back to her guest room and they'd both chalk it up to a few hours of momentary madness.
They'd end up laughing about it all in the morning, she thought with an exhausted yawn. Because if she lost him as a friend -
"Sleepy?"
The first hint that she was off base with all her assumptions of fading passion was the easiness of his voice. So dangerously easy, in fact, that the one word sent a shiver through her.
"You wore me out," she teased, trying to keep things light between them.
Didn't he understand that they needed to finish things up in such a way that they could write it off as water under the bridge in the morning?
Besides, she wasn't the least bit tipsy anymore, so she couldn't possibly blame anything she did - or felt - from this moment forward on the alcohol.
Which meant that everything from here on out would be all her...and she simply couldn't afford to feel too much with Ryan while they were na**d and kissing, above and beyond simple physical pleasure.
He took a step toward her. "I'll have to work harder on making sure you stay awake, won't I?"
For all that she wanted to act like what they were doing - and what they had already done - was no big deal, she couldn't manage to lie still and wait for him to come to her. Feeling suddenly vulnerable, she scooted back on the bed.
Ryan's hand on her ankle stopped her from moving any further away from him.
She swallowed hard as she looked down at where he was holding her, his hand so tan against her pale skin.
He had her other ankle in his other hand a moment later and before she could remember how to breathe, he was dragging her toward him, the soft bed cover rubbing against her na**d back and bottom.
He didn't stop pulling until he had her at the edge of the mattress and had positioned them so that he was standing with his legs between hers. He pulled her legs around him, made her ankles cross behind the small of his back. The bed frame was high enough that his groin was barely higher than hers without his needing to bend his legs.
She didn't know what to reach for, how to respond, felt lost and completely out of her element. They'd crossed a lot of lines tonight, but none of them had been that big, had they? Yes, she came like a rocket from his barest touch, but she was sure he was used to that kind of reaction from women.
But she'd never live down begging...most likely because he'd never let her forget that she had.
Only, the way he was looking down at her, like he owned her body and soul and was beyond pleased with that fact, had her wondering if he knew exactly what she was feeling without her having to say a word.
"This is how I want you, Vicki. Open to me. Ready for me. Always."
His eyes were dark with pleasure as he ran them over her na**d body, then back up to her eyes, where she was trying so hard to keep from giving herself away.
Instinctively, she recognized his words as a command. Reminding herself that if she didn't want to follow them, she could simply unwind her legs from his body and get off the bed, as he began the slow slide of his hands from her ankles up her calves and then to her thighs, she left her legs right where he put them.
And then he was leaning down over her, his sinfully talented mouth a press of heat on the upper swell of her breasts.
She had to touch him, had to put her hands on his chest, then over to the broad muscles of his back. She wanted to memorize every inch of him by touch alone, but her concentration was immediately shot when his erection pressed thick and hard against her belly. He gave her one kiss after another over her collarbone, and then her pulse point, before he found that spot just below her earlobe that made her shiver every time.
"Feeling more awake now?"
He didn't give her time to answer before he was covering her mouth with his. She gave herself fully over to his kiss, loving the way he devoured her, and letting herself devour him right back. She tightened her ankles around his h*ps at the same time that he ground himself against her lower belly.
His hands were in her hair as they continued to ravage each other's mouths, and then he was shifting so that his h*ps were lower and - oh God! - she could feel the thick, hot length of him slide over her.
She gasped at the extreme pleasure of it and he swallowed her gasp with his own groan as he slid up, then back through the slickness of her arousal.
"I want so badly to love you, Vicki."
It was, she suddenly realized, just the way he'd looked when he'd come to rescue her from James. Like she was the only thing that mattered in the entire world, and he would do whatever he needed to do to protect her and keep her safe from harm.
"Tell me you want that, too."
His voice was raw with desire, but in that moment she could have sworn there was more than just lust behind his request.
"Yes, I want you," she said as she felt the muscles of his back and shoulders flexing beneath her fingers as he worked to hold himself steady over her. "You already know how much I want you."
She needed him closer, needed more than just this tease. But even though she'd just told him what she thought he wanted to hear, he hadn't moved, hadn't taken her the way she so badly needed to be taken.
He simply stroked her face with his hand, his fingertips brushing over her lips, her jaw line. She shivered at the gentle, loving touch. She recognized what he was doing, knew it from the way her own hands had to caress a truly beautiful sculpture. She needed to touch it, needed to feel it beneath her hands to let the emotion of it course through her, and let herself become a part of it, too.
All night long, she'd been trying to hold back something, anything. But she just couldn't do it anymore. She had to mirror his actions, had to give in to the instinctive urge to memorize him with her hands as well as she was memorizing his kisses with her mouth.
Vicki slid her hands from his shoulders to his face and when she put her hands on him, he closed his eyes and let out a ragged breath.
Was this what he had been waiting for, for her to give herself over to him fully, completely?
She ran her hands over his face, falling deeper in love with him with every new stroke of her fingertips over stubble and bone and cartilage. All the while, his eyes were closed as he simply let her feel him.
His beauty shook her all over again, just as it had day in and day out from the first day she'd set eyes on him. But to know him like this, for him to not only let her feel him so intimately, but also to practically beg her for it, was beyond anything she'd ever hoped for.
Finally, when her hands rested on his jaw and he opened his eyes again, what she saw in them had those pleas she'd planned on holding back forever spilling from her lips.
"Love me, Ryan. Please don't wait any longer. Please."
She didn't know where he got the condom from and she didn't care. All that mattered was that he had put it on and then he was kissing her again and she could feel him hot and hard and throbbing against her core.
He slid into her with a hiss of pleasure and she couldn't keep her head from falling back, her mouth opening as she gasped for breath. One stroke of Ryan's thick, hard heat inside of her and she was about to come apart again.
Her brain screamed for her to have more control. She couldn't need him so much, shouldn't be so pathetically responsive to every single touch.
Slowly, so damn slowly that she had to clench her teeth together to keep from crying out, he pulled from her before gripping her h*ps in his big hands and slamming back into her. She couldn't look at him, keeping her eyes tightly closed rather than daring to see the dark fire in his eyes.
She needed to keep them closed until it was over and she could pretend that what they'd shared hadn't been more than just sex between two horny friends.
His hands tightened on her hips. "Don't hide from me, Vicki."
Oh God, why did he have to talk to her like that? Like he was in charge of every cell in her body?
And, worse, why did it have to turn her insides to goo...and make her immediately respond with even more fire and need?
Angry with herself for having less than no control around him anymore, she closed her eyes tighter. Only, she knew that wouldn't deter him from getting his way, and she was right when he leaned back over her and kissed each eyelid softly.
"Look at me. Please."
His plea undid her. Completely.
Unable to resist him for a moment longer, she looked up at him, her inner muscles clenching even tighter around him as she let his dark gaze all the way inside her heart...and her soul.
"Oh baby," he said on a whispered groan of pleasure as he pushed in even deeper, "I love the way you come apart when I touch you, when I'm inside of you. You're so beautifully responsive. For me." He pulled back, then thrust forward again, causing her to grip him even tighter with her legs, her nails digging into his back in her desperation. "Let go for me while I love you. Let me see you. All of you."
Between the sweet movement of his body inside hers, his coaxing demands, and the intense desire on his face, Vicki had no choice but to obey.
His mouth captured her cries as she came harder than she ever had in her life, her orgasm going on and on and on, only to have Ryan catapult her back over again as he called out her name, as he told her again and again how good she felt, how much he wanted her, until he finally let his own control go too.