Irreplaceable

“You’re crazy, you know that?” I laughed, then took a bite of my sandwich.

We ate quietly for a while, watching the people around us shuffle in over their lunch breaks, until she looked over at me, her expression clouded with hesitation.

“What happened the other night? We saw you and Logan kissing, and then those girls. What did they say?”

“They were looking to go another round with him.”

“Ugh, I thought that might have been the case from the way you stormed out. I tried to go after you, but Logan was already out the door by the time I got up.”

I nodded, taking another bite.

“Caleb said he thought he saw you the next morning,” she said, pretending to be less investigative then she really was.

Might was well get it all out and hope she can help me sort through the mud in my brain.

“We slept together.” I worded it that way just so I could see her reaction.

Her hand flew to her mouth, covering her burst of laughter. Through it, she managed a bubbling, “Oh my God! Really!? I mean…I would say it’s about damn time, but after learning about New Year’s…how are you feeling about it?”

I laughed and took a sip of water. “It wasn’t like that. I mean… sort of, but…I’m not sure what it was. He took me upstairs and then asked me to stay the night in his arms. Said it was his birthday wish.” I raised my brows, watching the grin she tried in vain to control. “Cheesy, right?”

It was cheesy, but it sure hadn’t felt that way in the moment. Not even close.

“I don’t know. It’s kind of sweet…romantic. The guy really is crazy about you, even if he acted like an ass. Plus, he looks like the type who can pull off a corny line and wet your panties while doing so.” She smirked, arching brow.

I tried to bite back my laughter. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing else is going to happen with Logan—not in the way he wants, at least. My only goal is to get him out of my head and out of my dreams; hell, he’s a constant there that I can’t bare much longer. Irrational or not, after everything he’s done for me, I’m not interested in a relationship with Logan.”

I planted my elbows on the table, cradling my chin.

“You’re both so damn headstrong I’m not sure what to say. I mean, Caleb says Logan’s a good guy and that he’s never seen him act like this over another girl before. That has to count for something.”

I sighed, head down, staring at my half-eaten sandwich with an appetite that suddenly abandoned me.

“It does, which is why I wish we could get over this attraction and try to go back to being friends. If only he could just see that it’s better that way.”

“All right, we’ll figure this out, and help you come to a place where he no longer affects you. But first, clarify…did he round any bases?”

I made a face. “Oh, he rounded a few. I’ve never felt anything like it before—I mean, Mark was always in such a rush to jump to the main event. He never…” I looked around, reminding myself I was in a room full of diners. “He never did that. Logan wanted to give me pleasure, while Mark was all about taking it for himself.”

“So it was good?” She lifted her fork and stabbed a piece of lettuce, grinning cheekily.

“More like phenomenal—better than any fantasy I could ever imagine. That is, until he refused to go further and then told me we couldn’t be friends.”

Hilary nearly choked on her mouthful of salad. “Why friends? I mean, you just said…”

“It’s what I want, all right? And if we can get over this attraction, I think we could have that again. Last night when we were talking, just talking…I missed that.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I need to have sex with him,” I stated with resolve.

“Um…why, exactly?” Her words came out as confused as the look on her face.

“It’s not as crazy as you make it sound! I think one night of sex would answer all my questions, once and for all. And then afterward, one of two things will happen: he’ll either leave satisfied, feeling like he conquered me the same as he has others and leave me alone for good, or he’ll see the only thing between us was lust—that I have hardly any experience in the bedroom to hold his attention, and that we’re better off as friends. As long as I keep my heart out of it, then it will be nothing more than a good time. One we both want.”

“And if he enjoys you in the bedroom and never wants to let you go?”

“This is Logan West we’re talking about. I know you don’t know him that well, but ask your boyfriend. Turns out he and Caleb have a history. He’ll tell you Logan is not one to settle down.”

“I know, he already has, constantly. Caleb was not thrilled about Logan pursuing you in the beginning; they actually had a few blowups over it. But since the hospital, Caleb’s convinced that Logan’s really in it for the right reasons. He cares about you. Listen, you’re my best friend, so just tell me what I can do to help.”

I shrugged, watching her pop the fork into her mouth. “I have a few ideas. I just have to play it right—make him think he’s winning, that he’s the one calling the shots. And then when I have him alone again, I’ll seduce him to the point that he can’t refuse.”

“Good luck,” she said, unconvinced. “Caleb says he’s a control freak.”

“That’s an understatement. Last night, he made it clear he thought he was in charge.”

“And obviously it wasn’t all bad.” Her face brightened and brows wiggled, her closed mouth turning up into a suggestive grin as she chewed.

“He has some talents to be applauded, but then again he has spent plenty of time learning. A man with that much experience should never disappoint.”

“Did you guys sleep naked? I mean, honestly, that seems impossible with the sexual tension you have going on.”

“He wore boxer briefs.”

“Very nice,” she said with a hint of laughter.

After finishing our food, I pushed my plate forward and pulled some money out of my wallet to tip the waiter. “All right, we ready now?”

“Can I be honest without you hating me?” she asked, stirring her empty glass of ice with her straw, peering up at me under her lashes.

I nodded hesitantly.

“I don’t think you should run out and forgive Logan right away, but I was with you that night. I saw how excited you were to meet him there. I know you were in love with him then.”

“I wasn—”

She held up her hand, cutting me off. “Listen, give it time, but don’t go screwing it up by trying to use sex to push him away so far that you’ll lose him. Natasha coming back that night had to have been a shock for both of you. He was hurting and acted out, but he wasn’t driving the car that hit you.”

“How he made me feel hurt ten times worse than that car.”

“I know.”

“No you don’t! What if Caleb said those things to you? Your worst fear thrown in your face, along with a cheap condom.” My voice was hushed and shattered, but conveyed the anger I felt. I was about to tell her about the two women he’d slept with, but I didn’t have it in me to bring it up. I never wanted to think about it again. I’d told him to move on, and he did—at least for the day.