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Page 19Tamra’s lips flatten into a thin line. I know her expressions well. She’s grown even more attached to Deghan than I realized if the idea of leaving him bothers her this much. She looks on the verge of saying something when Will speaks.
“Well,” Will announces. “I guess this is good-bye.” Nothing can hide the eager light from his eyes. He’s waited a long time for this. We both have.
But I can’t ignore the tiny flare of panic flickering inside my chest. This is it. I have to break it to him now.
“I suppose so.” Cassian nods brusquely, revealing none of his regret at parting ways with us. With me. But I feel it anyway—a stinging burn behind my eyes. “We’ll take the van. The hunters should have no memory of it, thanks to Tamra.”
Thanks to Tamra the hunters shouldn’t remember us. Period.
I glance at Miram. She’s moved a small distance from the rest of us. She hugs herself and stares into the distant tree line, and I wonder at her thoughts.
Will’s voice comes from beside me. “Ready?”
Turning, I meet his gaze and stare at him a long time. Long enough for him to know something’s wrong, long enough for a wariness to fall over his face.
His eyes sharpen. “Jacinda?”
I shrug feebly, and hold up a hand in supplication, willing him to understand what I’m about to say. And all I see at that moment is the purple plastic ring on my finger. It mocks me as the words spill from my lips: “We can’t just let them go back by themselves. Cassian still isn’t a hundred percent. What if they’re tracked down by hunters before reaching the pride?”
And there’s more. More I can’t admit aloud yet. I want to avenge my father. I want everyone to know what happened to him. I want my father’s killer brought to justice. My hands curl tightly at my sides, opening and closing. Cassian shoots me a curious look and I force my hands to still.
As the first draki to break into an enkros stronghold I’ll have credibility. I helped rescue Miram … and another draki—a witness to my father’s death. Deghan is all the proof I need. The pride will listen and then it’ll be Severin’s turn to stand trial before everyone—exposed for his crimes. My pulse skitters in anticipation at the prospect.
Cassian looks between me and Will, his eyes suddenly bright. I feel his hope. It swells through me in a giddy, bubbling rush.
“Come with me, Will. See this thing through with me.” I watch him. I wait, breathless, my chest unbearably tight with the notion that he’ll refuse. That he won’t want to come with me. That he’ll hear my words and turn away from me. My thumb rolls the plastic band of the ring. “I know it’s a lot to ask …” I drop my gaze to my hands. “I understand if you can’t come with me …” But it will break my heart.
He storms away without a word. Something shudders inside me as I watch his retreat. He doesn’t move to the van, instead marches past the dilapidated building. I shoot everyone a quick glance and then follow, running after him. “Will! Will, wait!”
He rounds the building’s side. As he passes an old vending machine, he turns and sends his fist into the ancient, stained plastic front. The yellowed plastic shatters into tiny pieces everywhere.
I stop, panting less from my short run and more from my anxiousness to reach him. He braces both hands on each side of the old machine with his head bowed, neck muscles straining with tension.
I wet my lips and glance behind me to make sure no one has followed. “Will?” I’ve never seen him this angry … this unrestrained. I’m not sure what to say. “Are you okay?”
I resist the urge to step back, instead just nod.
“Are you kidding?” The sound of his voice cuts me. He’s not the Will I know right then. Dirt stirs at my feet, curling tufts of earth, and I know it’s his doing, his anger affecting the very ground we stand on. “I’m starting to think we’re never going to be together, Jacinda.”
“Don’t say that.”
He waves a hand. “You don’t want to let any of it go. Not even for me.”
“That’s not true.”
“No?” He angles his head as he studies me. “Can you tell me that you’ll ever be able to let it go? The pride? Cassian?”
“Yes,” I say, glad to hear that my voice is strong and steady. “I will. We just have to do this one thing—”
“Going back to the pride is no small thing. Especially for you.” He swallows and I watch the cords of his throat work. “And me.”
I exhale and nod, a sinking feeling starting in my stomach. I’m asking a lot. Too much. “I can’t expect this of you. You’re right.” I bite into my lip, withering inside at what this means. “By now Corbin would have told them all about you.”
A stillness comes over him. “So what are you saying?”
What am I saying?
I swallow. “We can part ways. Temporarily, of course,” I quickly say. “We’ll meet later—”
He comes alive again. His hands close around my arms. “No. Not again. I’m not leaving you again, Jacinda. Not to face this alone.”
Relief ripples through me. But I push it away.
“No, you’re right,” I say, determined to keep him safe, but no less determined to see this through and get justice. “The risk for you is too great—”
He shakes his head fiercely, his eyes glinting. “We’re doing this.” He slides one hand along my face, his palm cupping my cheek. “And then we’ll see if you come up with another reason to keep us from being together. Then I’ll know.”
I shake my head. “It’s not like that—”
Silence stretches. I wet my lips. “That’s not why …”
“Then what?” he asks, his eyes soft and melting as they delve into me. The plea there is something I can’t deny. Unable to stop myself, I lean into his hand, revel in the sensation of his skin against mine, the rasp of his calluses on the curve of my face.
“My father—” I stop as the look in his eyes sharpens with understanding.
My voice drops in a fervent, rushed whisper. The pain of my father’s death, his betrayal, stabs through me again with a sudden fierceness. I doubt it will ever go away. It will always be there, ready to greet me first thing every morning. But if I can achieve some retribution, perhaps it will soften the edges of the pain, make it more manageable. “I can’t let that go yet.”
“Will you ever, Jacinda? What if you don’t get the justice you want? How long can we do this? How long do we keep getting dragged back into the web of a life you claim to want no part of?”
“I’ve got to try. I’ll tell you when it’s over.” I wish I could give him a less lame answer than that, but it’s too complicated for anything else.
“You’ll tell me?” He arches an eyebrow.
“Yes.” I hold my breath, unsure of his response.
He smiles then. A crooked, self-deprecating little smile that makes my belly twist. “Okay, Jacinda. I’m in.”
He takes my hand and pulls me along. Something loosens and flutters inside me. I’m sure in a way I’ve never felt before. I know where it is I’m supposed to be. Forever and always. Whether I live among the pride—a new pride, changed for the better once Severin is deposed, or out in the human world—or maybe somehow straddling both worlds, I’m meant to be with Will. Us. That’s what I’ve been fighting for … and somewhere along the way I forgot that, too busy battling for other things: my draki, Mom, Tamra, Dad, Miram.
“Agreed?” He stops before we round the building, his hazel gaze fastened on me.
I nod. And I realize I’m both my strongest and weakest with him. And I guess that’s love. When you’re at your most vulnerable.
“I love you,” I say suddenly.
He blinks as though the words surprise him. Haven’t I told him that before? I thought I had … back in Chaparral, when I had to leave him. But I was in draki form then. He couldn’t have understood. Taking his face in both my hands, I stand on tiptoes. “I love you,” I repeat before I press my mouth to his, kissing him long and slow.
He hesitates only a moment before pulling me closer, tighter against him. Desperation burns between us. His hands move from my hair, to my arms, and my back. Roaming, touching me everywhere. As if I might disappear from him in the flash of a second. He spins me until my back is pressed against the brick wall. His mouth, my mouth … there is no distinction …
There’s only need.
He breaks away, his serrated breath a hot fan in my ear, thrilling me and spiking my pulse faster. His deep voice fills my ear. “We better get a move on.”
He looks over my shoulder as if he can see around the corner to the others. “With that homing device on Miram, hunters will be coming. It’s only a matter of time.”
Only a matter of time.
“Yeah. Of course.” Turning, I lead the way back to the van, still holding Will’s hand and trying to shake off the flicker of unease in my heart that this might be a mistake. I have to believe that returning to the pride with Will at my side is the right thing to do. The right choice.
17
Back home, on the mountain, on the ground that I know so well, I feel restored, heartened. A low mist drifts over lush grasses that brush my legs as we walk through thick foliage where no path exists. Cassian’s the only one who might know this mountain better than I do. We proceed carefully. Aside from our fellow draki who could be lurking in the trees, trying to decide what to make of our motley group, hunters can’t be far behind us. Cassian leads the way, his gait a little livelier, his injuries less evident, and I suspect just being back here has rejuvenated him as well.
We follow as he guides us somewhere to wait—hidden from hunters and the pride alike—while he talks to his father. At least that’s the plan we’ve decided upon. We have to deal with the matter of Miram first. My vengeance will have to wait until the danger is over.
We left the vehicles at the base of the mountain. Will holds himself tensely, watchful. “Tamra,” I say for her ears alone as we walk side by side. “I’m still leaving the pride.”
I’m not sure why I feel compelled to tell her this. As though she, like Will, might doubt my ability to cut ties with the pride. As with him, I hope to correct her of that misapprehension.
“You think so?” A smile plays on her mouth. “I remember you saying that before.”
“We’ll fix things with Miram, settle the score for Dad, and then I’m gone. We’ll start over and find Mom just like we—”
“I’m not going.”
I stop to stare at her. Only she keeps walking, so I have to hurry to catch up, sending cautious glances over my shoulder at the others following us. Almost as though I were afraid they’ve heard her make this announcement.
“What about our plans? What about Mom?”
“Plans change, Jacinda. Besides, I never had much time to think it through. It was your plan. Not mine. I was just so angry over you and Cassian bonding that I wasn’t seeing things clearly.”
“That’s right. You were mad,” I remind her, “over my forced bonding. Over the pride banishing Mom. Why do you want to stay here?”
“Because they need me. Not everyone is Severin. I don’t want to quit on the entire pride just because of him. He can be removed. He will be. Cassian or someone else can take over. It’s time for new leadership, and I want to be here to help for that. I need to be. I can be useful and do some good.”