Hate to Love You

I reached for my phone, checking for messages before I went back to sleep.

Deleting all of Missy’s texts asking where I was, I lingered on the one sent after I would’ve already left for the hospital.

Missy: Not sure what’s going on, but I’m here if you need me.

That was nice of her. I thumbed off a response, knowing she didn’t turn her phone on until she was leaving for her morning classes.

Me: I’m good. Slept at a friend’s. Be back later. Have a good day.

I didn’t expect a response, and I rolled over, tossing my phone on the floor.

It buzzed a second later, and I grabbed for it, surprised.

Missy: Good. Up half the night. I was worried. If you’re okay, then I’m going back to bed.

I cringed, muttering to myself, “And the award for the Most Insensitive Roommate goes to . . .”

Me: Sorry. I thought you’d go to sleep, but I’m fine. Sorry again.

Missy: No problem. Good night/good morning!

I grinned, dropped my phone back to the floor, and curled back over. I was asleep within seconds.

A bang woke me up the second time, and I assessed my surroundings. Shay was still gone. The bathroom door was open so he wasn’t in there. I looked for his running clothes, but didn’t see them dropped in a pile. Reaching for my phone, I’d slept an hour. They were probably still going, but hearing a second bang, I realized it was from the kitchen.

The guys were up.

That meant I probably wasn’t getting any more sleep, so with too much effort this early in the morning, I got up, used the bathroom, got dressed, and grabbed my things. I was sneaking down the stairs when a roar of laughter came from the kitchen. I jerked, flattening against the wall for a second, but no one opened the door.

I slipped outside, feeling like a criminal. I was at my car when I heard a light pounding of feet. I looked over, the group of guys were heading back to the house, but two broke off and came my way.

Shay was in front, and Linde was slightly beside and behind him at the same time. Both slowed when they got to my car. Shay stopped a few feet from me, but Linde looked almost dumbstruck. His eyes were opened wider than normal, and a shadow formed in them seconds before his lips pressed back together.

Shay was looking between the two of us, just waiting.

“So.” Linde rested a hand on the top of my car’s trunk. Sweat glistened from his face, rolling down to plop on his clothes and on the cement by his shoes. His headphones were hanging around his neck, the cords leading to his shirt’s pocket. “This is going on.”

Shay was sweating, too, but no headphones. He straightened, both his hands going in his pockets. His shoulders were slightly hunched. He didn’t say anything.

I tried for a smile. “Uh, yeah. We’re not dating or anything.” Let the shame kick in, and I shared a look with Shay. He shook his head, the slightest of twitches, and I knew he was telling me not to worry about that.

Linde was one of my first friends. I would.

Linde pulled his gaze between us slowly. “You’re just fucking? Is that it?”

Shay opened his mouth, but then Linde held his hands up. “Look. It’s none of my business. Though, if this joker hurts you, let me know. I’ll rough him up in practice one day. Maybe clip him extra hard so he has to miss a game.”

Shay swore, though he was grinning.

Linde was smiling back, but it seemed forced. That shadow still lingered in his eyes.

He held a hand up in a goodbye, heading back to the sidewalk and toward the house where the others had gone.

Shay waited until he’d gone farther up the driveway before pointing to my car. “Taking off?”

I glanced around. Besides us, the entire street was empty. The houses were cookie-cutter types. Bright, green, and crisp lawns. No one’s porches had fading paint or chipped walls. The roofs were even shiny, like they’d just been built. Brightly potted flowers in the landscapes, and there was a fresh dew smell in the air.

I murmured, “I can see why you run at this time. It’s peaceful.”

“It’s a good start to the day. Coach depends on us doing this extra conditioning. We run drills and go over plays for practices. And lift weights. Lots of lifting weights.”

He stood there, sweat darkening the front of his shirt, sweat glinted from his forehead, and he ran a hand through his hair, shaking out the excess sweat. With those high cheekbones, perfect and kissable lips, and his ice-blue eyes, I was reminded who stood in front of me. Shay Coleman, from the top tier of Dulane University. He was the top, how Gage described him.

And I was sleeping with him.

I laughed to myself. “I think I hated you from the first day because you were so smug.”

“Okay. We’re going there.” He nodded, sighing. “I was smug?”

“You know you were.”

“I thought you were funny.” His lip twitched.

“And cocky.”

“Yes. That smirk of mine. I can smirk more, if you want. You must miss him.”

I swatted him, my grin deepening, but I didn’t mean it. I leaned back against my car, and Shay stepped in, his hand resting by my shoulder. He was half-leaning over me, half just watching me with his head cocked back, like he wasn’t sure what was coming his way.

“I’m trying to say that if I thought we would be here when you first walked into class, I would’ve laughed my ass off.”

“Not your ass. I like your ass. It’s delectable.”

I ignored his flirting. “I’m just being introspective. I started college with the plan of befriending one, maybe two people, and I was going to study. I was going places. There would be no boys, no gossiping, no cattiness. I wasn’t going to get involved in any drama, and fast-forward a few weeks, and I’m sleeping with the star quarterback, friends with a starting offensive lineman, and I came over last night because I left the hospital where a girl who I thought had it all, decided to report her rape.”

The smirk disappeared, and his eyes grew serious. I felt the joking slip away, like sunlight chasing away the darkness. Slow, gradual, but inevitable.

I let out a deep sigh. “I was standing up for Casey with Matt Carruthers, and I hid from it yesterday. I can’t hide anymore.”

His hand moved closer to my shoulder. His thumb began rubbing there, back and forth in a comforting motion. “You mentioned the guys before. I still want to know who they are.”

“I know you do.”

He waited for me to continue. When I didn’t, he said, “You shouldn’t have to deal with them alone.”

“You’d think, right?” I tried to smile, but I wasn’t feeling it. That heaviness returned, and it wasn’t on my shoulders anymore. It was pressing smack down on my chest. “Casey reported the rape. That’s a big step.”

“You have any experience with that?”

“What?”

He lifted up a shoulder, his head bobbing toward it. “You know, being assaulted. Sexually.”

I expected him to start tugging at his collar or shifting on his feet, but he didn’t. He asked the question, and he waited, holding out for me to give him the answer.

A small thread of pride bloomed in my chest, pushing some of that pressure aside. “Not sexually, but the girls were not nice my senior year of high school. They came at me hard and brutal. I don’t know if you know this, but I kinda have issues with trust and emotions.”

“No.” He pretended to be surprised, his mouth gaping open. “Really? I never would’ve guessed.”

I laughed and swatted at him again, but this time, he caught my hand and held it against his chest, angling closer until his side touched mine. For a second, he gazed down into my eyes, and then he softly said, “I get the trust issues, but I like you despite them. I might even like you because of them.”

My breath was caught in my throat. I tipped my head back, and he drew in, his lips were a hair’s width away. I murmured, “You like me? Like, like me, like me?”

That smirk showed again, almost taunting me.

I said, “You should watch it, Coleman. I think you might be moving too fast.”

The ends of his mouth dipped down, and he eased back a step. “What?” ns class="adsbygoogle" style="display:block" data-ad-client="ca-pub-7451196230453695" data-ad-slot="9930101810" data-ad-format="auto" data-full-width-responsive="true">