Hate to Love You

Kristina sounded strained. “I don’t know what’s going on, but can you get here as soon as possible?”

“Of course.” I was turning for the back door again.

“Hey.” Sarah hurried behind me, her hand stretched out. She was chewing the inside of her cheek. “Is she okay? Can we come?”

“Uh.”

I relayed the questions, and Kristina’s response was as subdued. “Casey doesn’t want to see them. That’s all she’ll say.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“I know, but those are her wishes.”

“Okay. I’m leaving right now. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Text me what hospital and room number.”

I hung up, and Sarah edged even closer. Both her hands were pressed against her chest, holding on to that flimsy Kleenex. She was waiting.

I hated this. “She doesn’t want to see you, but she doesn’t have a say who sits in the hospital lobby.”

“Are you saying to come?”

“It’s up to you.”

I headed right back out to my car. The texts came through a moment later, and I knew which hospital that was and where. It took ten minutes with barely any traffic, and I didn’t have to get lost or drive around searching for the parking lot. Gage came to this same hospital and emergency room a year ago with a broken leg, so I was familiar with the layout.

I went inside, emptied my pockets for the security guard, and did the same for the nurse manning the last emergency room entrance.

Kristina was outside Casey’s room, her arms hugging herself and her head bent down. My heart ached seeing her like that. Casey was just changing to her. She didn’t know why, but she’d be hurting just as much once she found out the reason.

“Hey.”

Kristina’s head came up, and she opened her arms. I walked right into them. I ran a hand down her arm. “How are you?”

She shook her head, stepping back. “Confused. Concerned. And a whole ton of other emotions.”

I nodded to the door. “She’s awake?”

“Yeah.” She turned around. “She was at some party. Laura and Sarah didn’t recognize the guys’ names who were throwing it. I guess that’s where she stayed last night.”

“I thought she went to my brother’s.”

“Me, too, but I guess not.”

Kristina looked so torn, and I made a decision. I took her hand. “Come with me.”

“What? No. Casey doesn’t want me in there. She said only you.”

“Trust me. Okay?”

With wide and fearful eyes, she did, and I led the way inside. Casey saw me first, and I could see the exhaustion sweep over her. She seemed to fold into the bed, and she was so pale she almost blended in with the white sheets. I’d never seen someone so sick. Her lips were cracked and rimmed with a black charcoal substance, and her hair was matted into knots.

Then she saw Kristina, and she surged back upright.

“No,” she started to say.

“Listen to me.” My insides were tense and twisting into pretzel knots, but my voice was calm. I knew my face looked it, as well. I was channeling a Zen goddess, and I brought Kristina deeper into the room. “Casey, I can’t pretend to have any understanding what you’re going through, but I can attempt to imagine what I would want in your situation. I would want the closest people to me to be around me. I would want to gain strength from them. It’s their hand I would want to hold, and I get it. I do. I know what happened, but I’m not in your inner circle. We’ve shared meals, a few movies, but that’s it. I’m not your roommate, your best friend, or even your mother. You have to tell them.”

She began crying as I spoke, and by the time I was finished, fat tears freely cascaded down her face. She wasn’t trying to stop them. When she spoke, it was the little six-year-old girl inside her. “It’s real if they know.”

“I know.” I covered her hand with mine. “I know, but it’s real anyway. It’s time to let them know.”

“Can you still stay? I asked the nurse to call the cops.”

“Of course.”

She nodded, hiccupping on the tears before grabbing for Kristina’s hand.

I sat in the corner, but it was no longer my place. I was there for support. I was there to give Kristina what answers I knew, but she was the closest person to Casey. It was her time to replace me, and she did. Casey folded into her arms, and it wasn’t long before she asked for Laura and Sarah.

I moved out of the room when they came in.

I remained outside the room, waiting for a little bit. Kristina came out a few minutes later, hugged me, and thanked me, but she didn’t need to. I hadn’t done much. It was my final cue that I could leave, and as I was walking back down that hallway, two female cops were going the opposite direction. I paused once to watch them knock on Casey’s door, and I heard one say, “Miss Winchem?”

Good. I nodded to myself.

She sounded good. She sounded nice, patient. She wasn’t going to walk into that room and treat Casey like she was a joke or she asked for it. I didn’t hear that condescension.

After I left the hospital, I didn’t drive to the dorm. If Missy were up, she’d have questions, and when I would give her a vague brush-off, there’d be the looks. It was always the looks.

I drove to Shay’s, and after texting him, I walked up his driveway, past all of his roommates’ vehicles, and stepped onto the patio. I waited outside the back door, and a minute later, he opened it from inside.

It felt good to walk past him, good to feel his hand on the small of my back, and good to feel his arms around me.

I knew something was happening.

I was feeling something.

He was feeling something.

And maybe I should care, but not that night.

That night, sleeping in his arms, felt like the most right thing in the world.

Shay was moving around the room. It was still dark, and I felt the morning chill in the room. I could hear the swish of his clothes as he came closer to the bed, and I asked around a yawn, “You get up this early?”

He chuckled softly and then turned on a lamp. “Yeah. Sorry.” He was dressed in Dulane sports clothes—a Dulane lightweight jacket and Dulane lightweight sweats. “Some of us go running in the morning.”

He looked damned good, but I groaned. “You’re not human. You have classes all day, then practice, and we didn’t sleep much last night.”

His mouth curved up.

I gestured to him, even my arm and hand felt too tired to be awake. “Now you’re going running?”

“If I don’t go, the guys will want to know what’s going on.” He sat on the bed next to me, his hand rubbing my back. “How are you doing? You didn’t say much last night.”

I shook my head. Those were serious thoughts and a serious conversation. It was too early for that, too. “I’ll tell you later.”

“But you’re okay?”

I nodded. “Yes, I am.” I groaned again. “My roommate’s probably freaking out. I guess she was calling me last night and I never answered.”

“About what?”

I waved that off, another yawn. “That’s for later, too.”

A soft knock sounded on his door.

His hand ran down my back. “Okay. I’ll be back in an hour.”

“You run for an entire hour?” I curled up, pulling the blankets tight around me. “You’re insane. I’m sleeping with a crazy man.”

He chuckled. A look passed in his eyes, but it was gone in a flash and he stood, crossing the room. He grabbed for his phone and opened the door. I heard a soft and muffled, “I’m ready.”

Then the other person asked, “I wasn’t sure if you were coming. Thought you’d skip because of . . .” His voice trailed off.

I tensed, recognizing Linde’s voice.

Shay just laughed. “Nah. I’m ready to go.”

“I’m sure you are.”

I fought against rolling my eyes, holding my breath, but Shay kept himself as a barrier. Linde couldn’t see me, not as long as Shay was in the doorway. A second later, he stepped out and pulled the door closed. I listened, but could barely hear them descending the stairs and leaving. ns class="adsbygoogle" style="display:block" data-ad-client="ca-pub-7451196230453695" data-ad-slot="9930101810" data-ad-format="auto" data-full-width-responsive="true">