Hard to Love You

I state the obvious, “It happened years ago dude.”

We sit in silence for a little bit, both lost in our heads.

Cooper looks over at me, “You let that shit ruin you and Hailey?”

I look down to the floor, then back to Cooper, and nod. “I wanted to talk to you first. I didn’t know if what Lily said was the truth or not. We don’t need any more damn drama and I wanted to avoid it at all cost. Kenzie deserved to have the wedding that she did.” I shrug my shoulders. “It was worth it.”

“Is it still?”

I rest my elbows on my knees, with my hands clasped out in front of me, and hang my head. “Coop,” I close my eyes and flashes of Hailey’s face come flooding in. “I miss her. I’m miserable without her. I don’t know what to do.”

Cooper sits himself up in bed and lies back against the headboard. “Fucking around the way you are isn’t going to change anything. You need to deal with it dude, and not in that way. Talk to her about what happened, Mason.”

I lift my head up, “I explained everything to her at Mom’s that night we split but it was too little too late.”

Cooper looks over at me seriously, “Says who Mason? Where’s my pain in the ass twin that doesn’t stop for anything until he gets what he wants?”

I run a hand through my hair and sit up. “I don’t know, Coop. He disappeared when I lost her.

“That’s your first problem. Have you heard from Hailey at all?” Cooper asks as he yawns.

I slip my sliders off and lay back against the pillows. “Not a word. Maybe this is why it’s bothering me so much. She’s always been there no matter what, and now that she’s not I feel like a piece of me is missing.”

Cooper’s eyes grow heavy and he yawns again, “Maybe you need some final closure now that you two have had a chance to cool off.”

Maybe I do need to get some closure. “You going to talk to Jay?”

Cooper settles in bed, “I’ll have to eventually.”

I tuck my hands behind my head and rest my eyes. “So is it the Brittany shit stopping you from giving into Jay? Or is it that shit that happened back at school?”

Cooper responds groggily, “Both.”

I doze off, wishing I had some damn pain medicine for this hangover.

“Mason.” Hailey whispers.

I rub my eyes with the palms of my hands. What is she doing here? How did she find me?

“What are you doing?” Hailey asks.

I shake my head, trying to clear it. I know I’m drunk but not that drunk. “How did you find me? How did you get in my room?”

Hailey laughs. I turn my head side to side; I’m lying on the beach. The sun is shining brightly, waves crashing in the distance. I peek up at Hailey, with the sun shining on her hair it looks like it’s glowing. Her pretty blue eyes pop against her sun-kissed skin. I reach up to her face but when I try to run my finger over her lips it distorts. I blink a few times and she’s back.

What the hell did I drink last night?

Hailey starts crying, “What happened to us, baby? We were supposed to have our happily ever after.”

I reach up and try to wipe away the tears, but again her face garbles.

Hailey reaches up and wipes her own tears away. “When are you going to pick me, Mason? I want to be your first choice. You promised you’d always protect me but all you do is hurt me.”

My skin pricks with goose bumps. “I thought I was protecting you, Boo, but I see now that I wasn’t. I need you Hailey. I feel like my life is spinning out of control.”

“Oh Mason,” Hailey cups my face, “Prove it. Prove you need me.”

“I will, I promise. I’m done worrying about everyone else. I want to settle down, buy you a house. I’m ready to take the next step.”

Hailey gives me a small smile but tears still pool in her eyes. “I love you Mason.”

She pulls my face closer to hers and rests her forehead against mine. “I love you too Hailey.”

“Mason, come on dude get up.”

I inch slowly closer to Hailey’s lips. I just need one kiss. I need to know this is real.

“Mason!”

“Kiss me Hailey.” I whisper against her lips.

Cold water splashes my face and I leap from the bed. “What the f**k?”

Cooper is standing next to the bed with a bottle in his hand. “I’ve been trying to wake you up for a half hour.”

I wipe my face with my hands. “So you throw water on me?”

Cooper starts to laugh, “Well yeah. It was that or listen to you tell Hailey that you loved her.”

I freeze. “What did you say?”

Cooper shakes his head like I’m crazy. “You heard me, ass**le.” He huffs. “You said you loved her and asked for a kiss.”

I look around the room, trying to find a clock. I can’t find anything so I walk over to my phone. We’ve got forty-five minutes before we have to leave, “I need a shower.”

Cooper chuckles, “Hurry up.”

I don’t give a shit that I already showered last night, I need another. I need to sort out what was real and what wasn’t. “Can you go grab my bags?” I toss my room key to Cooper before he can even respond.

“Mason, can you keep the Brittany shit between us? I’ll handle it.” Cooper asks seriously.

I quip back, “I haven’t said anything yet, have I?”

“True, but I was serious about last night. I need my brother back, this version of you sucks.” Cooper turns on his heel and leaves me standing in the middle of the room.

One thing’s for sure, starting today I’m done sleeping around. It wasn’t helping anyway and girls are starting to get more abusive when I accidentally call them Hailey. I am, without a shadow of a doubt, done with putting anything before Hailey. Well, besides baseball, but she knows that. It may be a little too late but I know deep down that I have to try and get her back. Even if that means we can only be friends, I’ll take whatever I can get. And I’m doing something for me; I’m buying my house with the white picket fence. It may not be filled with the 2.4 kids and a dog, but this is what I want. If I have any chance at winning Hailey back, I need to prove to her that I’m serious about commitment.

I take a quick shower and set my plan in motion. The first call I need to make is to a realtor. The second and third phone calls are to MacKenzie and Jaylinn. I need to rally the girls on my side and pray they don’t hang up on me after calling me crazy.