Hard to Love You

My dad quickly moved his feet. “Oops, sorry about that.”

He didn’t make a move to help me up or anything. I laid there for a second with my eyes squeezed shut. The pain was horrible. The pulsing on my forehead brought on an immediate headache. I blinked a few times before trying to get my bearings. I grabbed for my cell again but when I did a drop of blood hit the carpet. I reached up to where I’d hit my head, and when I pulled my hand away it was covered with blood. I took off, running for the bathroom.

I ran past Tara in the hallway and pushed her out of my way. “Watch where you’re going.”

I slammed the bathroom door shut and looked in the mirror. There was a gash on my forehead that was probably going to need stitches but there was no way I was going to the hospital.

I grabbed my phone and called the only person I knew who could help me. MacKenzie was down at the shore with her family but I knew Jackson didn’t go down until late Friday night since he had to work.

“MacKenzie,” I cried into the phone.

“Hailey? What’s the matter? Are you ok?” MacKenzie asked with concern in her voice.

“Can you please have Jackson pick me up and take me to the shore with you?” I managed to croak out.

“Um, what time is it?” I heard her shuffling some things around. “He should just be getting done at work. I’ll give him a call and tell him to swing by and pick you up.”

“Thank you.”

I looked at myself in the mirror before reaching for the Band-Aids. I cleaned the gash up the best I could but it just kept bleeding. I finally gave up trying to get it to stop. I grabbed some gauze, medical tape and the roll of paper towels that Mom always kept in the bathroom and ran across the hall to my room. I threw it all in my overnight bag along with some clothes. I didn’t even know if anything matched and I really didn’t care, right then I just wanted to get the hell out of there. I heard Jackson beep his horn. I grabbed my bags and darted out of the house as quickly as possible.

Jackson reached over and opened the door for me, “Damn Hails, you ok?”

“Just drive.” I took my first deep breath since Dad forced his way into the house.

When we arrived at the Cahill’s shore house a few hours later I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Jackson grabbed my bags as I still held the gauze to my head. The bleeding had just about stopped but still leaked a little.

Elle, MacKenzie and Mason were sitting at the kitchen table when we walked in. Great! I was hoping to sneak in and only have to deal with MacKenzie.

Mason stood up so fast his chair fell back, “What the hell happened to you?” he said.

I lowered the gauze, MacKenzie and Elle gasped. When I looked back up Mason had his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“I’ll be fine.” I would be. I’d probably just have a scar.

“What happened?” Mason asked again.

“My dad,” I got out before I started crying. “I tried to step over his feet but he lifted them and tripped me. I didn’t put my hands out and hit the corner of the table.”

Elle walked over to me, grabbed my hand and walked me to the bathroom. She helped me get the gash all cleaned up and told me I should get stitches; I told her I wouldn’t go. She found some butterfly stitches and closed the gash as best she could. I looked down at my shirt and noticed all the blood. I guess walking into the house the way that I did made it look a lot worse than it really was. This is just what I wanted for my sixteenth birthday. I’d just have to have MacKenzie help me cover it with make-up before the party that she was throwing for me.

Mason walked into the bathroom holding out one of his old baseball t-shirts and a pair of MacKenzie’s shorts.

“I’m guessing you didn’t pack any to sleep in. I have a bunch of t-shirts here.” Mason said as I grabbed the clothes from him.

“Take a shower, sweetie, then try and get some sleep.” Elle said. She threw all the trash away, washed her hands then kissed my forehead and walked out. Mason stood there for a second longer; he looked like he wanted to hold me, but then turned and shut the door behind him.

I took a quick shower, slipped the shorts on and then pulled Mason’s T-shirt over my head. I brought it up to my nose and inhaled, it smelled just like Mason. He smelled like soap and then sun with that slight dirt smell from years of playing baseball. I towel dried my hair and threw it up on the top of my head.

When I opened the bathroom door, Mason was sitting just outside on the floor. “Mase?”

He looked at me with such sadness in his eyes. I glanced down the hall and didn’t see anyone, all the doors were shut and the light in the hallway was off. “You ok?” he asked.

I nodded. “I’ll be fine, just a little cut.”

Mason stood up. I took a step back; my back hits the closed bathroom door. The coldness from the door hitting my warm back caused me to get the chills. Mason took a step closer and ever so gently kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry.” He whispered before walking away and leaving me standing there.

I hate my dad, I’ve always tried to be the perfect daughter but no matter what I did it didn’t matter. I don’t fit into my family; I’m the outcast, the black sheep. My dad should be the one saying he’s sorry, not Mason.

I was so angry; I knew I would never fall asleep. I walked over to MacKenzie’s door, dropped my blood stained clothes and shoes and made my way to the only place I felt at peace.

It’s was the middle of summer so when I took a seat on the towel in front of the ocean I was still warm. The waves were so close, so loud. They were angry which was exactly how I felt. I was pissed off at the world. Sometimes I wished I had the courage to walk out there and just let myself float away; have the waves crash over my body and carry me away into the darkness. Then maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t feel like no one wanted me.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t feel Mason come up behind me and wrap his body around mine. “Hey.” He said as he pulled me back against his toned, hard, chest.

“Hey. Sorry, I didn’t hear you come down.” I told him as I snuggled a little closer to him.

“I’m sorry your dad is such an ass**le, Hails. You don’t deserve this.” Mason said in my ear.

I sat up and turned around so was sitting on my knees between his legs. I put my hands on either side of his face, “You have no reason to be sorry, Mason. You didn’t do any of this.” A tear slipped down my cheek.

He wiped it away with his thumb. I dropped my hands and placed them on his knees as he pulled my face closer to his. I felt his hot, minty breath against my face. Mason and I hadn’t kissed since that one time when I was twelve so I was a little unsure of what was happening. Just as I thought he was about to kiss me on the lips he lifted his head and kissed me on my gash.