Hard to Love You

I stand up on my tip toes and kiss him, long and hard.

“I love you so damn much, baby.” He says as he rests his forehead on mine.

“And I love you too.”

We say goodbyes to our parents and make plans to meet for breakfast so that we can say our goodbyes to Ryder before we leave for our honeymoon.

“Let’s go, Mrs. McCormick.” Hunter says when I finally pry myself away from Ryder. “We’ve got a honeymoon suite calling our name and I plan on putting that room to good use.” He whispers in my ear while we wait for the elevator.

“Lead the way, Mr. McCormick.”

It’s an incredible ending to an incredible day. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

12

“Hey pretty girl,” Cole says as he places his hands on my shoulders. “You want to go get some air with me?”

I look over my shoulder at him and he smiles. I would be so easy to fall in love with Cole. A fresh start, something I think I need. He doesn’t know about my past, doesn’t know what makes me tick, and doesn’t know about my insecurities. It’s really a shame that we both can’t give this a try; honestly I’m not sure it would be fair to either of us at this point in our lives but it sure would be nice if we could.

I’d just sat down for the first time all night. I’ve been trying to avoid being alone so that Mason doesn’t have the chance to talk to me while we are supposed to be enjoying MacKenzie’s wedding. So far the wedding has gone off without a hitch. All her family is great and they’ve taken the time to talk to me throughout the day. Even her crazy as hell twin cousins, those two are a trip. I’d like to go out with them one night to see how they really act when no one is breathing down their necks to behave.

“Sure.” I stand and say to my mom, “I’ll be back in a few and then we can call it a night. You got all checked into the room, right?”

I booked two rooms at the hotel for tonight, one for mom and a double for Cole and I, because I wasn’t sure how the night was going to go, plus it’s pretty late and I didn’t want Cole, Mom and I driving home this late, especially with having a few drinks.

“Yeah, Cole and I checked in before the ceremony.”

“Great. I’ll come grab you when we come back in and then we’ll say goodnight to Hunter and MacKenzie.” I tell her.

Cole holds out his hand for me, I place mine in his and he leads the way down to the ocean. It’s a perfect night. The wind is blowing just a bit; it’s chilly but feels nice against my sweaty skin.

“How you holding up?” Cole asks as he slips off his suit jacket, places it down on the sand and then sits on it, leaving just enough room for me to join him.

I slip my heels off and take a seat. “It’s hard, you know? Being this close to him but being a million miles away too.”

“He loves you.” Cole states like he’s known Mason all his life.

“But not enough to talk to me about what I saw that night, Cole.” I quip back.

Cole shrugs. “Maybe you need to hear him out, Hailey. Whatever happened might not have been right but there is always a reason for everything.” Cole turns his head and stares at the crashing waves in front of us.

“Sounds like you’re talking from experience.”

“Maybe I am.” He answers, still staring straight ahead.

Cole and I sit like this for a while, both lost in our own thoughts. I get the chills as the wind picks up and brings a spray of ocean water with it. Cole reaches over and wraps his arm around my shoulders.

“You ready to go say goodnight?” Cole asks.

I stand up and he follows. “Give me a few more minutes?” I ask. Cole grabs his jacket and shakes the sand from it. I’m sure he’s probably itching to get to his room to change and relax. “Go grab my mom and I’ll meet you inside.”

Cole pulls me into his strong arms and places a little kiss on the side of my head. “Talk to him, pretty girl. Trust me, it’s not every day you see the kind of love that Mason has for you.”

His hands slowly start to fall down my arms, he grabs my hands in his and squeezes just a little before he lets go and a single tear drops from my eye.

Cole starts to walk away, leaving me standing here looking out of the ocean, when he calls my name, “Hailey,” I turn. His face is lit up by one of the candles that are spread out all over the sand. “Trust me okay? I know what I’m talking about.” He just gave me a little piece of his past. I know that must have been hard for him to do.

“Alright, Flower boy, I’m trusting you.” I say.

Cole turns around and makes his way back up to the reception. As I watch him walk away I see MacKenzie, and I think it’s Mason with her, but it could be Cooper too; they’re standing just off the deck. I turn back around and take a seat next to where I left my shoes.

It’s so peaceful sitting here. I wish I could bottle up this feeling and take it with me everywhere. Everyone always thinks of me as the party girl who knows how to have a good time. While I must admit I live up to that reputation most of the time, I don’t always want to. Acting that way is my coping mechanism.

A big wave crashes and the water rushes up and almost meets my toes before it rushes back. This makes me think back on the first time Mason and I got really close.

This was the first time I had seen my dad in months. He knocked on the door saying he needed to talk to Mom. I told him she was at work and he’d have to come back after seven when she was home but he didn’t want to hear it. He pushed the door open, causing me to stumble back. He walked into the kitchen grabbed a beer that was left in there from before he moved out and made himself at home in the living room. I walked into the room to grab my cell phone so I could get the hell out of here, I should have known better.

“You happy that your mom and I split?” he slurs.

I tried I ignore him as I picked up the phone and turned around to leave but he kicked his foot up on the coffee table blocking my path. “I’m talking to you.” He yelled.

I flinched. I gripped the phone tighter in my hand. “No.” I know that if I had said yes things would have been worse for me.

“It’s all your fault you little bitch. Our life was perfect until you came into it.” Dad said as the alcohol on his breath hit me.

“I’m sorry.” I cried. What did he want me to do? Kill myself? Run away?

“Yeah, I’m sure you are.” He didn’t move his feet so I tried to climb over but he raised his leg and caused me to trip. I wasn’t expecting him to do that so I wasn’t prepared to have my hands out to break my fall. When I fell I hit the end of the coffee table on my forehead.