From Ashes

All coherent thoughts left me when he sucked on that sensitive spot behind my ear and made his way down my throat with soft kisses and barely-there licks. He grabbed the neck of his shirt and pulled it over his head before letting it drop to the floor and pressing me into the bed again. I let my fingers softly trail down his back and up his sides, causing him to shiver and his ever-present hard-on to make itself known. Heat swirled in my lower stomach and my heart raced when his hands glided across my waist under my shirt. My eyes were shut and I let my head fall back onto the pillow as I pictured Gage’s body pressed on top of mine. Before I realized what he was doing, my jacket was unzipped, my shirt was pushed up over my chest, and his mouth was sucking on my hardened nipple through the satin of my bra.

We’d never even gone this far, and although it felt incredible and part of me wanted him to take my bra off so there was nothing between me and his mouth, my body started shaking. And not in a good way. My mind may have been conjuring up images of Gage, but there was no way I could keep telling my body it was him when everything was so distinctively Ty. He slid the cup of my bra down, freeing my breast and resuming what he’d just been doing.

“Ty,” I breathed, and tried to ignore my body shaking even harder. “Ty.” The last one came out as more of a moan.

“I know, baby.” His hands left my bra and made quick work of unbuttoning my jeans and trying to shove them down. He growled and pushed up off me to take them the rest of the way off and came back down onto his elbows, so only his mouth and hips were against me. “Cassi,” he whispered against my skin when he rocked against me. The pressure and roughness of denim sent tingles through me, and he did it again.

When his hand traced over my underwear and moved it aside, my body froze momentarily and then started shaking in full force. “No, no no no no. Tyler, I can’t, I can’t do this.”

“You’ll enjoy it, Cassi, I promise.”

I knew I would. It wouldn’t be my first orgasm; it would just be the first one done by anyone other than myself. But I wasn’t ready for this. Not with Tyler. “Ty, please—” I groaned when his fingers trailed against my most sensitive area and I cursed myself for feeling any type of pleasure while my body and mind were obviously sickened at the idea of allowing this to continue. “Tyler, seriously, stop!”

His fingers stopped just barely inside me, and his head jerked up to look in my eyes. “Are you kidding me?” He didn’t remove his hand as he looked at me suspiciously. “You want this, Cassi, don’t tell me you don’t. Your little moans and sighs, and damn it, Cassi, you’re wet as f**k. So why are you telling me to stop?” Tyler searched my face and shook his head slightly. “I swear to God, if you say you don’t want this . . .”

“I—I—I do.” I took a deep breath and forced my eyes to stay open and not make any noises when his fingers curled inside me. “I do want this, Tyler, but not yet. I’m not ready yet.”

“You’re—”

“Tyler. Please.” My body was shaking harder now and for some stupid reason I was on the verge of tears. “I do want you, and yes, it feels”—I floundered for the right word—“incredible. But we’ve never done anything more than kiss, and this is moving way too fast right now. Can we please just ease into this?”

“Ease into this? Ease? Damn it, Cassi! We’ve been doing nothing but making out for almost four months.”

“I meant—”

“You have got to be shitting me.” He got off the bed, grabbed his shirt, and stormed across the apartment to his room.

I shakily pulled my pants back on, and fixed my shirt and hoodie before going to his door. “Tyler, please, talk to me.” I tried the knob but the door was locked, and though I stood there begging for him to open it, there was never a response.

MY BACK ARCHED as his mouth sucked in one of my ni**les and a soft moan escaped my throat. His hand came up to my other breast and gently massaged while his other hand started dropping lower, teasing my waist and hip before resting at the top of my underwear.

“Gage, please,” I begged, and grabbed fistfuls of his black hair.

“Please what?” If I couldn’t already feel it against me, the tone of his voice would have made it obvious he was smiling.

“Touch me.”

His hand slipped inside my underwear and I groaned embarrassingly loud when it finally touched where I wanted it most.

“Gage—” I moaned, and arched against his hand.

“The f**k did you just call me?”

My eyes shot open to find a pair of dark brown eyes looking down at me instead of green, his mouth in a straight line as his jaw ticked under the pressure.

“Ty—” I tried not to panic over the possibility that I had said his cousin’s name while we were kissing. Oh God, if the kissing was real, was the rest? I took a moment and almost sighed in relief when I noted one of Tyler’s hands was in my hair while the other was under my back, holding me closer to him. My shirt was on and the comforter was up to my waist and keeping an extra layer between us.

“What. Did. You. Call me.”

“I—I don’t know.”

His eyes went flat as he pushed himself off me and the bed. Last night came rushing back to me and I prayed the morning wouldn’t start off the same. He started to walk quickly out of my room, and I fought with the covers and comforter to run after him but he’d already thrown on his jacket and was walking out the door by the time I made it to my bedroom door.