Flutter

Milo had said very little on the subject, mostly because he’d been too wrapped up in Bobby drama, and Mae and Ezra had never mentioned it. Besides that, Jane was really the only friend I had. Everyone else was family. Or Bobby.

“What?” Jane wheeled on me, her eyes wide. “You kissed Peter? That really incredibly foxy guy I saw earlier? You kissed him? I didn’t even realize that was an option!”

“It’s not.” I shook my head. “It was just a stupid mistake. I don’t even really know why I did it.”

“I do. That boy is irresistible.” Jane looked wistful thinking of him. “If I were you, I’d say good riddance to Jack and move onto Peter.”

“I don’t want to move on to him!” Too late, I realized that telling Jane was a really bad idea. I sat up and shook my head again. “I love Jack, and I want to be with him. Peter was an accident.”

“Okay. Fine, I believe you,” Jane said dubiously. She kept staring at me though, chewing her lip. “So… does that mean he’s single?”

“Jane!” I groaned. “Peter is bad news! And you need to stay away from vampires for awhile. Look what they’ve done you.”

“Yeah,” Jane shrugged, “but look what they’ve done to you.”

She had a point. Vampires were literally sucking the life out of her, but me, they had given immortality, beauty, power, and money. In fairness, those were all things that Jane already had, except for the immortality part.

“But I’m still miserable. So there.” I stuck my tongue out at her, and she shook her head.

“Oh, Alice, you’ll always be miserable no matter what you have.” Jane turned back to my clothes, picking out something hot pink and skimpy that I had never worn. “That’s your lot in life.”

“Maybe,” I exhaled resignedly. “But what’s yours?”

“My lot in life is looking beautiful.” She held the dress up in front of her and looked at herself in the mirror. “Do you have any accessories?”

Sure, Jane was irritating and self-absorbed, but it was oddly comforting having her around. I always knew exactly what I was getting with her. Despite myself, I actually sort of enjoyed her.

For the hour I spent with her, I didn’t check my phone at all to see if I missed a call from Jack. I didn’t forget about him, exactly. The dull ache in my chest wouldn’t let me, but I wasn’t quite as obsessive as I had been.

After Jane went to bed, I went downstairs to get something to eat. The slow burning spread from my stomach, and soon it’d gnaw all over me. Jane didn’t entice me at all, but Bobby was starting to, so it was time to eat. I gulped down the bag of blood, then went back to my room and curled up in bed.

I was having a dream about this incredible warmth growing inside me. It wasn’t a burning, like a fire, but something different and more wonderful. Like a bright white light spreading out over me, until it became so much I couldn’t stand it, and I opened my eyes.

When I woke up, my breath was ragged, but the feeling from the dream hadn’t dissipated. I sat up, and I nearly screamed. Someone stood at the end of my bed, but when I saw who it was, I couldn’t even speak.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Jack said quietly.

- 28 -

I couldn’t breathe. Jack was pensive, his lips pressed tightly together.

The more alert I became, the more his emotions washed over me, and they were nothing pleasant either. Mostly, he felt nervous and hurt, and I didn’t blame him. After apologizing for waking me, Jack just stood there, arms crossed over his chest and stared at me. I sat up farther in bed and tried to think of something to say, but my mouth refused to work.

“I have to admit, I was a little surprised I didn’t find you in Peter’s room,” Jack said finally.

His words were cutting, and all the more so because they were from him. He never said things to hurt people, but he wanted to hurt me now.

“I was never with him.” My mouth worked numbly, and my heart hammered in my chest. “What happened was a stupid mistake. It didn’t mean anything.”

“What exactly did happen?” Jack’s normally soft blue eyes were like ice, and they pierced straight through me.“I don’t know.” All the rehearsed speeches I had explaining the kiss completely vanished. I had nothing except a blank expression.

“You don’t know what happened?” He gritted his teeth and took a deep breath. “How do you not know what happened when you kissed Peter? Kissing really isn’t that hard! I’m sure it started with you putting your lips on his-”

“No, I know what happened!” I held up my hand. Rubbing my forehead, I exhaled shakily. “I just don’t really know why it happened.”

“Well, maybe if you start telling me what exactly happened, I can help with the why,” he suggested coldly.

“We kissed!” I shouted, feeling exasperated already. I just wanted to get to the part where I sobbed and apologized, and eventually, he forgave me.

“Who kissed whom?”

“I-I don’t know,” I stammered and looked down. I pulled my knees up my chest, and I wanted to bury my face in my hands.

“Really? You have no idea? Just one minute you’re standing there and then next you’re making out with him? That seems pretty spontaneous.”

“Nobody was making out.” I couldn’t even look at him. This was much harder than I thought it would be.