Finding You

Lifting my eyebrows, I did the one thing I knew I shouldn’t do. I asked what he meant. “What is P action?”

“Seriously, Grace? Sometimes I’m so disappointed in you. Pussy action.”

Rolling my eyes, I let out a disgusted sigh. “Ugh. Men are pigs. No, I take that back. You’re a pig.”

Standing up, Grayson rubbed his hand on the top of my head before heading into the house and calling over his shoulder, “I may be a pig, but I can dance better than you.”

“Bullshit!” I shouted. Taking the last drink of my coffee, I stood and looked down the street for Meagan. She’d gone for a run about an hour ago. She had left right after Grayson left. Something was off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. There was something different about Meagan this morning.

“Grace?”

Spinning around, I smiled when I saw Noah standing there. “Hey there. Did you get some good sleep?”

Giving me a smile so bright I had to catch my breath, Noah nodded. “Yeah. I did actually.”

“Good. Are you hungry?” I asked as I walked up to him.

“Um, not really. But I was wondering if we could take a walk? I wanted to talk to you.”

A feeling of uneasiness bubbled up as I attempted to smile. “Sure. Right now?”

“Yeah, if that’s okay?”

Swallowing hard, I nodded and said, “Let me put this coffee mug in the kitchen.”

Noah glanced away and stared down the street. “I’ll wait right here.”

My voice abandoned me as I made my way past him and into the kitchen.

Setting the mug into the sink, I leaned against the counter and dragged in a few deep breaths.

Whatever was about to happen, I knew it wasn’t going to be good. The look in Noah’s eyes scared me shitless.

Noah had grown distant the last two weeks. The better he seemed to get, the more withdrawn he became.

I was losing him and no matter how hard I tried to fight, I wasn’t winning this battle.

Noah

Grace and I walked along the street in silence as I fought for a way to tell her how I was feeling. These last two weeks had opened up my eyes to so many things. I wasn’t the man I wanted to be for Grace. I wanted to be so much more for her. I needed to be the strength . . . not her. If I kept going down this path, Grace wouldn’t be able to follow her dreams.

Finally breaking the silence, Grace spoke. “How are you feeling today?”

Nodding my head, I said, “Good. Today I think my mind has been the most clear.”

“Good,” Grace said just above a whisper.

“Have you talked to Alex about the nursery? How are things moving along?”

Grace worried on her bottom lip. “Um, we’ve hit a couple of snags, but I don’t think it’s going to be anything that puts us too far behind. I told Alex I’d be there this weekend. I was hoping you and I could go stay a couple days at my parents’ house.”

The dull ache in my chest grew stronger; I knew I was the cause of the snags. “Grace, maybe you should head to Mason. I’ve kept you away for so long and it has to be stressful for Alex to tend to this all herself.”

Grace stopped walking and took my hand. “A few weeks ago you told me to get the fuck out of your house. Do you remember that?”

Making a grimace, I shook my head. “No. I don’t remember that and you have to know I didn’t mean it.”

Smiling a smile so brilliant, I quickly found myself smiling back. “I knew then you didn’t mean it, just like I know now you don’t mean what you’re saying.”

It felt as if the entire world was resting on my shoulders and I wasn’t sure how to push it off. “Grace, maybe I should take some time and go travel, or visit Em. Your parents probably want their daughter back and I don’t feel like I’m . . . like I’m–”

Placing her fingers up to my lips, Grace’s eyes burned with a fire I was used to seeing. Some days it burned brighter than other days. “Stop talking, Noah. You are my everything. It’s you and me. Remember?”

“Grace,” I whispered as I took her hand and kissed her wrist. “I feel like I’ve failed you and your family. I’m not the man I want to be for you.”

Walking closer to me, Grace placed both hands on my chest and looked deep into my eyes. There were so many moments I’d found myself lost in those emerald eyes. “You are the man I want you to be. Flaws and all. You can’t be who you think I want you to be if you’re not with me, Noah. I won’t . . . no . . . I can’t lose you again.”