Finding You

Placing my hand over Grace’s, I leaned my head into her hand. “Thank you, Grace.”

Giving me a wink, Grace quickly kissed me and then dropped her hands and went back to cooking.

Walking out of the kitchen, I slowly made my way back to my mother. Stopping right outside the door, Angela looked at me. “If she falls into a coma, she’ll still be able to hear you. Don’t be afraid to talk to her. We find with most patients they wait until their loved ones say goodbye. Once she knows you’re going to be okay, she’ll move on.”

Move on.

Balling up my fists, I closed my eyes. I didn’t want my mother to move on. She needed to be here watching as my relationship with Grace grew to something more. Marriage. A family.

She needed to be here.

“Noah? Are you hearing what I’m saying to you?”

Nodding, I pulled out my phone and found Emily’s number. “I’ll be right in. I’m calling my sister.”

Angela nodded and opened the door. I peeked into the room and saw my mother sleeping. She looked like an angel. You’d never be able to tell that the cancer was destroying her a little bit more each day.

Hitting Emily’s number, I held my breath and waited for her to answer.

“H-hello. Noah, is everything okay?” I knew every time the phone rang Emily was on edge. Each time I’d delivered a normal update. This time I had to tell my baby sister that our mother was going to die soon.

And only God knew when.

Grace

Sitting on the sofa in the living room, I rubbed the palms of my hands down my jeans again. Noah and Emily were in with their mother. Lisa had held on for another few weeks, but had taken a drastic turn for the worse. Every time I left for school, I prayed that Noah wouldn’t be here alone if it happened. Each night I came home, Noah took an Ativan and slept for a few hours. I was scared to death at the little amount of sleep he was living on. Plus the fact that I wasn’t sure how long he had been taking the Ativan. The longer he stayed on it, the worse it would be to stop taking it.

Glancing over to my right, I looked at all the boxes I’d brought with me from College Station. I’d gone back to College Station this past weekend to help Alex and Will pack up the house. It was Thanksgiving break and after that, it was two more weeks of school and then finals. Commencement was December eighteenth. After that, I had no idea what I was going to do. Did I stay here with Noah and wait? Or did I go to Mason and start helping Alex with our new flower nursery?

Standing up, I let out a long drawn-out sigh. My phone went off as I looked to see it was text from Alex.

Alex: Everyone wishes you were here, but we understand.

Feeling tears build up in my eyes, I squeezed them shut. “Please don’t let her die on Thanksgiving. Please.” I prayed as I hit reply.

Me: I’m scared, Alex. I don’t know what this is going to do to Noah.

Alex replied almost within seconds.

Alex: He’s going to fall apart, Grace. Just be there to catch him.

Smiling, I ran my finger over the text message. If anyone knew what it was like to lose a part of them, it was Alex.

Me: Alex, I love you. Have Will kiss your tummy!

Alex: I love you too. I certainly will. Your mom would love a call I’m sure.

Sighing, I dropped my phone down to my side. I hadn’t talked to either of my parents since I moved in with Noah. I wanted desperately to call her. My father was furious with me because I moved out of the house in College Station and in with Noah. My mother was more understanding. She didn’t like that I was adding more stress to my life, but she got why I was doing it.

My finger hovered above the number as I tried to decide what to do. Pulling my hand back, I looked for another number.

Only ringing twice, Meagan promptly answered.

“Hey, is everything okay? I’m driving back to Austin right now.”

Grinning, I sat back on the sofa and pulled my knees into my chest. “Hey. No, Meg. It’s not okay. Hospice said she only has a few hours left to live. Noah and his sister have been in with her for the last two hours. I don’t know if I should stay out here or go inside.”

“Is she in a coma?” Meg asked.

My eyes burned as I fought to control my tears. “Y-yes.”

“Grace, you need to go in. You need to be a part of this. To say goodbye and let Noah’s mother know you’re going to be there for him. I’m about forty minutes away. I have Noah’s address plugged into my GPS. I’ll text before I get there.”

Nodding my head, even though I knew she could see me. I mumbled, “O-okay. Be careful.”