Finding the Lost

“I hate to bother you, but I need a favor,” said Paul.

Joseph leaned back and rubbed his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. “Sure. What’s one more?”

“I’m sorry. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate, but this might actually help in the long run.”

Joseph motioned for Paul to sit. “I’m listening.”

“Andra’s sister might not make it, but Tynan is going to try to help her. I need you to issue a call for blood to all the Theronai and Gerai.”

Joseph let out a heavy sigh. “Since Helen showed up last month, more and more of the men have left to go hunt for their own ladies. Now that you’ve found Andra, it’s going to get even worse. There aren’t many Theronai left here, but I’ll issue the order.”

“Maybe you should call the men back for this—lure them back with the hope of Nika’s survival. If she lives, she may be compatible with one of them.”

“Even if she is, what about those who aren’t compatible? I’m going to have a pile of pissed Theronai on my hands.”

“Better that than a dead woman.”

Joseph held up his hand as if to ward away any more pressure. “I know, I know. I’ll do it.”

“Did you want to meet her first?” asked Paul. “See if she might be yours?”

Joseph kept his head down, but he couldn’t hide the hopeful light that glittered in his eyes for a moment. “I can’t do that. I’m still holding it together. Sixteen leaves left as of this morning. Let the others go first.”

“Always the last in line, eh?”

“That’s only one of the many benefits of leadership,” said Joseph on a sigh. He looked tired. Worn down.

Paul felt concern tug at him. If Joseph didn’t survive, they had little hope of keeping any semblance of order. “You’ve still got another eight years left on your term. Are you going to make it?”

The man shrugged. “Probably not, but I’ll get as far through my two decades as I can.”

“Come see Nika,” urged Paul. Their leader needed to be strong. Having a lady at his side would ensure that like nothing else could.

“Maybe later. I’ve got to get some things done first. Don’t worry. I’ll put the blood order out within the hour. Nicholas has some way of calling all the men back automatically via text message or something.”

“Thank you. This means a lot to me.”

“Don’t thank me yet. Once all the men show up, you’re not going to get a moment’s peace.”

“No one but you gets near Nika until she’s better.”

Joseph leaned back in his chair, his hazel eyes dark with worry. “I’m going to have to post a guard then. You know how hard it’s going to be for the men to stay away.”

“That’s not a bad idea. Maybe Angus or Drake is a good choice.”

Joseph nodded. Both men were bonded Theronai. She’d be safe with them. “They’re out hunting, but I’ll have them report back, too. Who knows? Maybe Gilda could even help her. She has a decent amount of healing ability herself, and it doesn’t cost us any blood if she does it.”

“We’ll take all the help we can get,” said Paul.

Joseph’s eyes went back to the map, and he suddenly looked older than he should have. “I hope Nika lives,” he said. “We need her if we’re going to hold the Synestryn back.”

“Even if she does live, she’s not going to be in any condition to fight.”

“We’d give her time to heal, of course, but we need everyone we’ve got out on the front lines fighting. You and Andra will need to get out there, too.”

Paul couldn’t look the man in the eyes, but he had to tell Joseph of his failure. The man didn’t need any more bad news, but Paul owed him the truth. “I think I made a mistake.”

“Join the club,” said Joseph.

“No, I mean a big one.”

Joseph rubbed his temples as if they throbbed. Exasperation filled his tone. “We all make big ones. In our line of work, those are the only kind out there. What I wouldn’t give to have overdue bills or a leaky toilet or, hell, even a drug-addicted teen to deal with. Instead, I get to deal with determining the fate of the freaking planet. And most of those people I’m working to save don’t even know I exist. I make a mistake, the human race ends. So, tell me, just what is it you think you did that’s so bad?”

“I’ve bonded with a woman I can’t keep.”

Joseph stood slowly, all signs of fatigue gone. “What do you mean, you can’t keep her? Of course you’re going to keep her.”

Paul looked down at his ring. Three shades of blue swirled and writhed within the iridescent band. As long as the color wasn’t fixed, he still had time to walk away, but he’d be back where he started with only days to live. “She only gave me three days.”

Joseph’s shoulders bowed under the weight of that news. “You’re kidding me. Doesn’t she know what’s at stake?”

“Right now, all she can worry about is her sister. Give her some time.”

Joseph slammed his hand down on the map covered in red. “We don’t have any more time. We need her. Do whatever it takes, but bind her to you for good.”

“I don’t know—”

“Swear it, Paul,” demanded Joseph, leadership ringing in his voice. “Swear you’ll do it.”

The urge to give in and make his vow was so strong it made Paul’s stomach clench. “I can’t. She doesn’t belong in our world. If she doesn’t want to be here, I won’t force her to stay. After our time is up, I’m letting her go.”

“The hell you are.” Joseph leaned forward over the desk and gave Paul a serious frown. “Make things work out with her. We need her. It’s your duty to convince her to stay and make sure she’s happy once she does.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Damn it, Paul! You’d better be taking this seriously. We’re all counting on you. All of the Theronai need you to make this work.”

“I can’t make her stay.”

“Of course you can. Our men are out there every day risking their lives so that others won’t even have to know about the dangers we face. We allow humans to live in the bliss of ignorance and all we ask in return is that when one of them turns up able to aid our fight, they do so. It’s not much to ask.”

“Except to the one who is unlucky enough to join the war.”

“Fuck that,” snarled Joseph. “I’m done with waging a noble war. We’re fighting demons. And worse. They’re closing in on us more every day. We’ll all die if you don’t do this.”

“So, now I’m responsible for the lives of all the Theronai, too? Don’t you think I have enough pressure?”

“Apparently not, or you’d find a way to tie her to you so tight she’d never be able to get away.”

“She doesn’t want it, Joseph.”

“Fuck what she wants. Make her want it if you have to.”

Magic. Coercion. That was what Joseph was talking about. Paul knew, because he’d had those very same thoughts. “You don’t see a problem with that?”

Joseph reached around the desk, took Paul’s arm, and dragged him toward the window overlooking the training field. He pointed a thick finger at the glass. “Look out there. I see seven good men who don’t have a year left to live. I have a problem with that.”

Paul wanted to avert his eyes, but he couldn’t. Those men were his friends. His family. He couldn’t let them lose hope. Maybe Joseph was right. Maybe what Andra wanted wasn’t as important as giving his people a reason to live—the hope that there might be more women out there like her. The hope that they might not lose this war.

“You take a good look,” said Joseph. “Remember those faces when you see your woman. Every one of those men would do whatever it took to save you. I think you owe them the same thing.”

He did. He owed them his life. His soul.

But it wasn’t just his life at stake. It was Andra’s.

If she didn’t want to stay with him, he wouldn’t force her. He knew how desperate things were, but if he had to force Andra’s compliance, he didn’t deserve her.

Paul steadied his nerve. He didn’t like this any more than Joseph, but he couldn’t give in. “I’m sorry, but I won’t force her. It’s got to be her choice.”

“Then pray to God that she makes the right one.” His voice sounded heavy, worried.

“What is it you’re not telling me?” asked Paul.

Joseph shook his head. His shoulders seemed to bow a little farther under an invisible burden. “We can’t let her go. If you won’t do what’s necessary, I’ll find a man who will. Surely she’ll be compatible with one of our men.”

Rage rose up inside Paul, furious and ugly. “If you do, you’d better wait until after I draw my very last breath, because any man who tries to take her by force will have to come through me first.”

“You wouldn’t kill one of your brothers in arms.”

Paul hated himself for realizing the truth. Maybe his feelings for Andra were intensified by the union they shared, or maybe he would have felt this way regardless of their bond. Either way, he wasn’t going to let her be forced into a life of death and fear unless it was her choice.

“For her,” he told Joseph, “for her, I would.”

Chapter 20

Madoc felt as if his skin were going to split open. He needed sex, but he couldn’t get it here—at least, not the kind he needed to take off the edge. The Gerai women—especially Thea—were willing to take what he needed to give. They just weren’t able. He’d end up hurting one of them, and then there’d be hell to pay.

Violence was his second choice. There was a whole world full of Synestryn out there that needed killing, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Dabyr to do the job. He couldn’t bring himself to leave Nika.

Fuck.

He shoved the loaded barbell up again, hoping that the physical exertion of weight lifting would hold him together for just a few more hours. Sweat poured off his body and his heart felt like it would explode, but he kept on pushing.

“Need a spot?” asked Neal. The Theronai’s body bulged with muscle. He was more than able to give Madoc a hand.

“Back off,” grunted Madoc.

“Suit yourself,” said Neal. “I need to get back to training anyway. Playtime’s over.”

But the man didn’t leave. He stood there, watching silently as Madoc shoved the bar back up.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” asked Madoc.

Neal shrugged his huge shoulders. “Nothing. Just wondering if you’d heard about the call for blood.”

“Not interested.” Madoc’s arms shook as he brought the weight back down to his chest.

“You sure? I heard Paul found himself a female Theronai. She has a full-blooded sister who’s sick.”