Finding the Lost

Andra’s heart broke open and bled for her sister. If this didn’t work . . .

“How long has she been asleep?” he asked, frowning at Nika.

“Hours. She woke up and had a little bit to eat before we left Nebraska, but she slept the rest of the way here. Madoc gave her some water when we arrived, but she went right back to sleep.”

Tynan sat on the edge of the bed. He picked up her bony hand with exquisite care. His long fingers hovered over her pulse for a moment. When he looked up at Andra, his face was grim. “She’s not sleeping anymore. She’s unconscious.”

Chapter 19

Andra locked her knees to keep from falling. “Are you sure? I thought she was getting better when Madoc managed to get her to eat. I never would have left her side if I’d thought otherwise.”

Guilt ate at her, making her stomach turn. She was so swept up in Paul and his world that she hadn’t even noticed her sister had gotten worse.

“She hasn’t been unconscious for long, but I can feel her slipping away. Her body is getting weaker.”

“What do we do?”

“I won’t know until I have some of her blood.”

“If she’s weak, that will only make things worse.”

“No. I need only a drop or two.” He was looking at her for permission.

Andra had no choice. No options. “Okay, but no more.”

Tynan nodded and put Nika’s finger to his mouth. Andra saw him pierce the tip with his sharp fang, and just as quickly his tongue swiped over it, sealing her skin.

He froze. Nika’s hand slipped from his grasp and fell back to the bed. His eyes started to dart around like crazy—just like Logan’s had done—and a deep moan rose up from his throat.

Andra held back her panic. She didn’t know what was going on here, but she wasn’t going to leave Nika in the way if Tynan started thrashing around. She moved around the bed to gather Nika in her arms and get her out of the way just as Tynan’s eyes slowed and he let out a harsh breath.

“You okay?” asked Andra.

He didn’t seem to hear her. “That poor child,” he whispered, and looked at Nika as if she were already dead.

“What happened?” demanded Andra.

“Her blood.” He wiped his mouth like he didn’t want to risk tasting any more of it. “I know why she’s suffering.” He looked up at Andra and his expression was that of a doctor giving a family member the worst news possible. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I can get her to eat and help her body heal, but there’s nothing I can do for her mind.”

Andra held back her tears through sheer force of will. “What is it? What’s wrong with her?”

“The Synestryn got her blood somehow.”

Andra knew how. “Our family was attacked when she was twelve. One of those things ripped her leg open.” She couldn’t bring herself to tell him that the monster had licked Nika’s blood from her wound and Andra hadn’t done a thing to stop it. She’d just stood there, letting it happen.

“It’s a wonder she lived. Their claws and saliva are poisonous.”

“She was sick for a long time, but she got better. At least, I thought she had. It took a while before I realized that she wasn’t . . . herself.” Those first few weeks had nearly been more than Andra could take. Her mother had been killed. Her baby sister had been missing and presumed dead, though Andra refused to believe it. Nika had been in the hospital, holding on to life by a thread. Andra was alone, making all the decisions herself. She had been nineteen, just starting college. She was barely old enough to be out on her own, much less holding the fate of two children in her hands. She was torn between hunting for Tori or staying with Nika. She tried to do both, but exhaustion put her into the hospital, too, and the choice was made for her.

She’d wanted to turn to her mom so badly, be held and told everything was going to be okay. But Mom was dead and the doctors kept looking to Andra for all the decisions. She had no choice but to suck it up. So she had.

“Your sister is psychic, isn’t she?” asked Tynan.

Andra nodded slowly. She’d always written it off as creepy coincidences, but it was true. Nika had known a lot of things she shouldn’t have. “Is that why she’s like this? Why she thinks she sees things that aren’t there?”

“The blood that was taken from her forged a connection with the sgath who took it—a kind of mental link. She could have handled that, but it got worse. Somehow, the blood of that creature was consumed by many others. Nika’s presence inside of that sgath was split each time her blood was passed on. From what I can tell, this has happened more than once.”

“You can tell all of that from a drop or two of blood?”

“Yes.” He didn’t look like it made him happy.

“So why can’t you fix it?”

“I’m not skilled enough. There is a Sanguinar in Europe who may be, but even that’s not likely.”

Hopeless rage filled Andra up until she shook. “Why the hell not?”

“Because Nika’s been cut into too many pieces. There’s not enough left to put her back together, and even if we could, the scars would likely leave her mind ruined. It’s best if you let her go. Let her suffering end.”

“No,” whispered Andra. She couldn’t let Nika go, too. She couldn’t be alone.

Warm, strong hands settled on her shoulders. Paul. She hadn’t even seen him come in the room.

“You heard her, Tynan,” said Paul. “We’re not letting her go. You can have whatever blood you need, but you can’t give up on her.”

Tynan stood. “As you wish. I will go and research what must be done.”

“How long will that take?” asked Andra.

“I shouldn’t proceed without speaking to my brothers and gathering my strength.”

Paul said, “I’ll call on the Theronai to donate blood to the cause. Every one of the men will be hoping Nika is his lady. You should get plenty of volunteers.”

“Have them meet me in our lounge after sunset tomorrow. I’ll need at least that much time to prepare.”

“We’re going to speak to Sibyl, too, as soon as she gets back.”

“Good,” said Tynan. “Any advice she can give will be welcome.”

“Since when do you take advice from her?” asked Paul.

“Since the life of that woman hangs in the balance.” Tynan turned and left.

Andra couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. She’d fought so long and hard for Nika, and it still hadn’t been enough. Nothing she’d ever done had been good enough when it came to her family.

She’d failed over and over, and nothing she’d heard made her believe that this time would be any different. “I’m sorry,” she whispered to her sister. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

Paul pulled her back against his chest and held her tight. His arms felt warm, strong, and comforting. Part of her wanted to turn in to him and hide in his strength, but the rest of her wanted to shove him away and scream at him for making her soft. She couldn’t be soft right now.

“Stop it,” he said. “Stop pushing me away. We’re in this together.”

“She’s my sister.”

“And you’re my wife, which makes her my sister, too.”

Shock froze her tongue in place for a moment. She turned around and looked up at him. “Wife? I never agreed to that.”

“You’re wearing my luceria. It’s the closest thing my people have to marriage.”

“We are not married.”

He flinched and his jaw hardened. “Fine, we’re not married as you know it, but I still feel like she’s my family. I would do anything in my power to save her.”

He was right. Andra was pushing away the only ally she had. “I’m sorry. I know you’re trying to help.”

“So was Madoc. But you sent him away.”

“Because he’s unstable. You said so yourself.”

Paul smoothed her hair back from her temple. His touch was gentle, almost loving. “You can’t understand how it is for us, living with pain the way we do for centuries. It makes our edges rougher. Makes us angry and desperate.”

“Centuries? You live that long?”

“So will you.”

Shock rippled through Andra, silencing her. It didn’t seem possible, but there was a lot of that going around lately.

She gathered her wits enough to speak, but not enough to keep from blurting out the truth. “Living eight years with the guilt of letting my family die, of not being able to help Nika, is more than enough. I can’t imagine several lifetimes of that kind of torture.”

“No one said longevity was easy. We all carry burdens, and in the case of the male Theronai, we also can endure decades of crushing pain. That pain makes Madoc harsh, but I swear he’d never hurt Nika.”

“I can’t take any chances.”

“She seemed to do better when he was around.”

“That was a coincidence.”

Paul shook his head. “What if it wasn’t? Nika needs all the help she can get.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Okay. Fair enough.” He kissed her head and moved away. “I’m going to go round up the men and get them to feed Tynan so he’s strong enough to help her.”

“Then I want you to come back, so we can try to help her again, too.”

“Whatever you want, Andra. It’s yours.”

Paul had to fight himself to walk away from Andra. She needed comfort and he wanted to be right here where he could hold her. But she needed Nika more, so he forced himself to leave and do what he could to help.

He found Joseph sitting in his office even though it was well past time that he should have stopped working for the day. Through the window behind him, Paul saw several Theronai and humans in the training yard, practicing swordplay or pumping iron. Joseph should have been out there with them, blowing off some steam to ease the pain Paul knew he felt, but instead Joseph was here in his office, poring over a large map. Idly, he slid his fingers back and forth over the luceria around his throat. Even though Joseph was unbound, he had refused to visit Nika to see if she could be his mate.

Paul was going to have to do something to change his mind. More than any of the Theronai, Joseph needed to stay strong so he could lead his people. Without him, there would be chaos and people they loved would die.

Paul stepped inside the room to get a better view and recognized the map as a copy of the one they used to track Synestryn nests and sightings. Red dots littered the thing, ringing around Dabyr as if it were a bull’s-eye.

They were closing in. None of the Synestryn had broken through their security here yet, but it was only a matter of time before they found a way in.

That was why the humans trained. There was no guarantee the Sentinels would live long enough to protect them from that eventuality. They had to learn to protect themselves, though how they would do that, Paul had no idea. They simply weren’t physically capable of that kind of strength.