Finding Faith

“A house closer to the church?” I asked.

He shook his head and my chest got heavy. “No, we’re moving to California.”

His words echoed throughout the room, ricocheted off the walls, and pierced my heart. I was on my feet in that instant, and I was irate. He wasn’t going to do this to me. I couldn’t let him do this.

“No, we aren’t!” As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I was going to regret them.

I’d never spoken to my father that way—ever. I patiently waited for him to jump out of his chair, pull off his belt, and beat me until I couldn’t see straight. He stood from his chair and towered over me with angry eyes.

“Excuse me?”

I swallowed my nerves and looked him in the eye.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I flinched when he lifted his hand and ran it across his bald head.

“You’re going. There’s too much for you to get into around here, and with Amanda’s death, I realize I’m not willing to lose you because you can’t stay away from that boy. I heard about him coming to the church the day we found out about the accident, and I won’t have you following in her footsteps.”

That boy? He didn’t even have the decency to say his name. Well, I didn’t care what he said. I wasn’t going anywhere without Finn. Without thinking, I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind.

“I love Finn, Daddy. I’m not leaving him. I’m sorry, but I’m seventeen and—”

The back of his hand connected with my cheek, knocking me back onto the couch. I sat up quickly. My face felt like it was about to explode. The taste of blood rolled across my tongue, making my stomach turn. I placed my palm against my face and looked up at him like he was crazy. I was positive he was. I was older and I knew more. I understood.

He clawed at his belt before he pulled it off and used it on me. This time I fought back. I grabbed at his belt and pulled at it. Still, he managed to catch me on my arms and even once across my face. The entire time I screamed for him to leave me alone and even once clawed at his arm.

When he was done, he swiped at the sweat on his forehead and pointed a finger at me.

“You’re going. As a matter of fact, you’re not leaving this house again until it’s time to go. I’ve already put in a call with some friends on the West Coast. There’s a good church there that could use my services. I think this is the best thing.”

Backing away from him, I turned toward the front door. I grabbed the knob and prepped my feet to run. I had to get to Finn. He had to know what was going on so we could figure out what to do. I wasn’t going to leave him. I wouldn’t. He was everything to me and the only person left in the world that I cared about.

My head lurched back when my dad grabbed the back of my hair and pulled me back into the house. Tiny pins pulled from my hair and strands were released into my face.

“Don’t even think about it. God don’t like ugly, Faith, and you’re disgracing yourself and this family. I hated to do it this way, but you leave me no other choice. I’m a respected man around here. One call to the police and I could have that boy put in prison for a long time. Did you know he sells drugs from his home? I knew that and so does his probation officer.” He jerked me closer to him; my hair was being ripped from its roots. “All I have to do is make a call. Quit being a selfish girl. Think about that mother of his. She can barely make it around without him. Do you really want to take him away from her like that?”

“You’re lying!”

He spun me around and again his hand connected with my cheek.

Then he pulled out a video tape—one that went to those old style VCRs that no one used anymore. He shoved it in my face, the black plastic dug into my cheek.

“Do you know what this is, Faith?” An angry vein poked out of his forehead. “Of course you don’t. Well, let me tell you what this is. It’s Finn on tape, selling drugs. I bet you know all about drugs and such now that you’re a sinner.” I smacked the tape out of my face and pulled away. “Leave this house, even think about leaving this house, and he’s going to prison for a very long time. You’re no longer allowed to see that boy. It’s over and we’re leaving.”

I tried not to believe anything he was saying, but it was hard since for my entire life, I’d looked up to my father like he was good and saintly. It also didn’t help that I could remember all the drugs that bounced around Finn’s garage. He didn’t have a job yet, but somehow he’d been able to fix his car and buy things. I didn’t know much about the way drug deals worked, but I assumed Finn was in a good place in the world to be able to do such things. His neighbors alone would make great customers for him.