Chasing Paradise (Chasing 3)

With just one penetrating glance from her, I had a glimpse into my future without Sienna; a lonely world full of bitterness and pining for the only one, the woman who’d gotten away. Well, I wasn’t going to let her push me away without a fight.

“Do you remember the first time I proposed to you?” My voice broke as my throat closed up, thinking about the future and rehashing the one memory I loathed more than anything. When Sienna shrugged, something vicious ignited inside me. “Well, I bloody remember it like it just happened yesterday. I can recall everything about that day. I was at the very end of my desperation, but I held hope.”

“Blake—”

I swallowed the tightness in my throat, trying to breathe. “Let me hear you say it,” I whispered.

Sienna frowned, confused at what I had said.

With my left hand, I gently held her by the chin and slowly lifted her gaze to mine. “Let me hear you say the words; that you don’t love me.” I penetrated my gaze into her, trapping her head in between my arms. “Look me in the eye and say it!”

“No, Blake.” Her resolve was undaunted.

So was mine.

If she wanted to end this, then she had to follow through. “Just say the goddamn words and then you’ll be free of me.”

Tears fell down her face while she sobbed and tried to wipe them away. “I don’t love you.”

Feral anger reared, her words rocking into my system. “Fucking look at me when you say it. Fucking make me understand!” I yelled at her. “Do you hear me, Sienna? Fucking PIERCE IT INTO ME!”

She paused, looking at me before she opened her mouth while I burned holes into her. “I… Blake—I” She blinked her tears away, lips quivering. “I don’t.” She bit her bottom lip, drawing blood. “Love you.”

Frozen like a statue, I didn’t know what I was feeling anymore. I snapped out of it when she tried to push my hand away so she could move, however she wasn’t getting off this easy. “Say it again. This time don’t stutter!” I commanded, unyielding.

“No.”

“SAY THEM AGAIN!” I thundered out, punching both of my knuckles hard on the marbled wall, making her flinch as if it was her that was being punched. “SAY THE DAMN WORDS, SIENNA!” My voice echoed in the shower area. I felt raw and punctured, gutted to the core while my heart bled out.

She shook her head, sniffing. “Let me go,” she whispered, shaking.

NO… no… no… please… “Sienna—” I choked out, begging. “Tell me how… I don’t know how.” Obliterated by pain and the feeling of losing her, I held her close, wanting the reality of her against me, afraid to lose it for good. “I’m so sorry… please don’t leave—I love—” I whispered against her ear while she gently shivered in my arms. My nose coaxed against her cheek, trailing towards her lips. “I love you,” I whispered against her lips, feeling heady at the thought of kissing her again.

Her lips hadn’t touched mine for a very long time. Our kisses were once powerful, that’s why I had stayed away from them. It was much more intense than sex.

Inching closer, Sienna made a sharp gasp, gripping my arm before my lips gently brushed against her soft lips. I waited for her to push me away, but when she didn’t, I pressed harder. The feel of her against my lips brought home the truth that this could very well be the last time she would to let me before she walked away forever. I was in the purest form of agony, kissing her with everything in me. I kissed her, wanting to say goodbye, however when she slowly parted her lips, I took the plunge and consumed her on the spot.

Was this our last kiss? The thought was depressing, but I was going to take this chance and cherish this moment with her because I knew I would forever be haunted by the memory of this beautiful, vivacious woman who cared for and loved the people around her without limitations.

She was the only woman I had ever loved—would love—for the rest of my life.

Twenty-two

Blake

Slowly lifting her body, Sienna clung onto me, wrapping her arms around my neck as her legs clutched around my hips. I carried her out of the shower, not caring that it was still running, and took her into the bedroom.

My lips never parted with hers as I slowly placed her on the bed. I pulled the comforter over our wet bodies. We were on our sides, naked; skin to skin, heart to heart, making love without sex.

How had I thought that I could live without her kisses? I simply couldn’t get enough of them. Truly, deeply, I was drowning in them; in her… with her.

“Sienna…” Let me keep loving you…

I deepened the kiss when Sienna gripped the side of my hip and urged me to roll atop her body. She immediately parted her thighs and placed her heels behind my hips. The feel of her heat against my constrained c**k didn’t help with the raging inferno that was burning within my body, within my soul. I wanted to annihilate both of our senses, take us to the edge of the precipice and exalt in each other, though right now wasn’t the time… However, then she just started to lift her hips, rubbing herself against my length. Hell. Fucking. Hell!

“Dio,” I groaned out as my hand reached around her hip to steady it.

Skin too soft for words… so delicate and unbelievably silky. I wanted to taste and lick her all over, but I didn’t want just sex. I wanted her promises, her vows, her forever.

“Touch me, caro,” Sienna pleaded, taking the hand on my hip and placing it on her br**sts, massaging. “Kiss me.” She rocked her hips gently, her other hand cupping my ass and pressing it against her moistened heat.

Christ! Each breath, touch, kiss; everything that was going on with us in that instant… I felt it all. I was alive. I was on fire. I had wanted this woman for so long and I had her—almost—yet now she wanted to leave, for good. I couldn’t have that because she was the woman fate had chosen for me. Identical to all the other men in my family, once that happened, you lived with it for the rest of your life. Sienna was my destiny. Just like my father with my mother, my grandfather with my grandmother, Luciano with Seraphina and my forefathers, all the men only loved once; it was a proven fact.

That’s why I knew I had fallen for Sienna. There was no other way to go except to submit to it because, either way, I was bound to love her forever.

Pulling out of our kiss, I cupped her face, thumbs wiping the tears that slid from the corners of her eyes as I gazed lovingly at her. “I’m always going to be in love with you.”