Chasing Paradise (Chasing 3)

“Do you have a death wish, woman?” I was frustrated, needing some sort of explanation, but she merely blinked the rain away as she looked at me then moved her head to the side, completely ignoring my question.

My hurt and questions could wait. I needed to warm her up before she got hypothermia. I didn’t know that the security guys had followed me out until they tried to help me up with her and I had to tell them to back off. “Have someone prepare coffee with a shot of alcohol in it. I need to have that the second we enter the house.” I barked at them before they scrambled to their feet and thought of other things to get that could help Sienna.

The second we arrived, blankets, warmers, first aid kit and the requested drink were all laid out for Sienna.

“We already called for a doctor. He should be here any moment now,” Edward calmly informed me before I nodded and tended to Sienna.

I got her out of her clothes and wrapped her in sweats before bundling her in thick blankets. I wanted for her to soak in the tub or take a hot shower, however it seemed as though she was in shock and I didn’t want to risk doing something wrong before the doctor could come to check her.

“Cara, you have to drink this.” I sat next to her, placing the hot mug against her purple lips as she shivered. When she didn’t even acknowledge me, I tried again. “Sienna, please. I need you better.” Without looking at me, she slowly parted her lips, sipping slowly.

Watching her now, I wondered how things would have gone for me if I had found her dead in the water instead. The thought brought extreme sadness and I had to fight to hold myself together while I nursed her before the doctor arrived.

The doctor came and went, and not a word came from Sienna, but she at least compromised by shaking or nodding her head if the doctor needed to ask her questions. She declined medication for sleep or for the shock. She basically didn’t want anything to do with the doctor.

“Is there anything I can get you?” I knelt at her eye-level, wanting to hold her forever, but I was scared that she was going to push me away. So I stayed put, biding time.

“Shower,” she murmured, still not meeting my gaze.

It took every ounce in me not to press her further. “Okay. Give me a few minutes to prepare it for you.”

Walking diligently towards the bathroom, I ran the shower, coaching myself to breathe easy and then going back to fetch her. “Come. Let’s get you washed and warmed up, back to your normal temperature.”

Sienna nodded, not bothering to hold onto me as she walked silently at my side. The bathroom was now full of steam and I had to make sure the water was not scalding hot before she went in.

I scrutinized her closely before she dropped the blankets on the floor and took care of the rest then walked inside the glassed shower area.

Sienna might’ve looked vulnerable to some, but I saw something in those eyes of hers… and I didn’t like what I found. It was a look of purpose, something cold and chilling. The gnawing dread I had felt before was now pounding hard into me once more.

Not wanting to waste any time, I ripped my clothes off. With only my boxer briefs on, I strode inside the shower and joined her. Whatever was going on, I had to know or I was going to go crazy thinking and stringing all types of theories together; none of them any good.

Sienna knew I had joined her, though she didn’t even turn around to bother looking. She stood against the water, unmoving.

Fifteen minutes later, she was still in the same position. I didn’t care if I had to wait hours, days or forever. I was going to stay put and wait until she was ready to talk. She needed to know that I was here, that I wasn’t going to go away, even if it took her forever to come back to me.

Kyle had been right; I was arrogant and too selfish to see what was truly going on inside the woman whom I claimed to love. How many times did I have to let her down? I had failed her time and time again. I got so caught up with my own twisted emotions, blinded by them to the point that I didn’t see how my actions were affecting or contributing to our disconnection.

My eyes had now been sprung open. I was here, whether she needed me or not.

The steam cloaked us, wetting me while I stood patiently against the glass, eyes unwavering as I watched her. Time forgotten, I had no clue how long it took her to look up and maintain my gaze.

“Hold me,” she stuttered as tears welled in her eyes.

Even though she looked like she was almost back to normal, her emotional state hadn’t changed. . Wrapping her in my arms, I held her tight, not knowing what to do. She cried in my arms, while I soothed her, gently stroking her hair as I slowly moved us away from the heavy spray of the showerheads and onto the side, against the heated glass walls.

“It’s okay… you can let me go now.” Sienna gave me a brave smile through her tears.

Cupping her face, I wanted to ease her pain, but I needed to know what was going on inside her head in order to do so. “What happened out there?”

She took a few seconds to answer, contemplating. “I was setting you free.”

I peered at her. “I don’t follow…” I trailed off, heart thudding with dread.

Sienna nervously looked at me before serving it to me ice cold. “I’m setting you free.” She then handed me something, forcing it into my hand.

Glancing down to my palm, I found it was her engagement ring.

Hell.

“Sienna?” My voice shook, broken. She couldn’t mean that, could she? We were just going through a tough period …

Sienna’s lips quivered. “I’m done fighting,” she sobbed and then added to my misery, “They can have you all to themselves.”

What was she talking about? “Who’s they?”

“Everyone.”

She was giving up on us. This wasn’t a joke or an attempt to get me mad because I didn’t agree with her about firing Adriana. Sienna truly was dead serious about letting me go. Of all the things I had pictured in my head, this thought had never entered my mind. And dammit! It obliterated me.

I looked heatedly at the ring then back at her face. “I’m not taking this ring back.”

“Okay. I’ll just leave it here,” she said, uncaring.

I wanted to shake her, get some sense into her or find out what the hell was going on. Sienna put me through hell the second Kyle Matthews spoke into that phone and I hadn’t gotten off the damn hellish ride since. “I thought you wanted to marry me someday?”

“I did… but things changed.” Sienna decided to meet my gaze.