Chasing Forever (Chasing 4)
Page 38“If he asks about the key, I had nothing to do with it.” Blake took it from the sheet and handed it to me.
“Thank you!” I jumped out of bed, showering them with floating kisses as I slipped into my shoes and walked out of there as fast as I could. I didn’t want to give them a chance to change their minds, and of course, I also couldn’t deny the obvious, that I wanted to head straight to his house in Hyde Park on Park Lane.
Since it was early with not much traffic activity, it didn’t take long until for me to reach his place. My enthusiasm had died down the moment I got out of the cab and stood outside his home, dauntingly eyeing it with anxiety.
Go on, what are you waiting for? My mind mocked me as I began to move towards the steps, pulling the silver key from my pocket and inserting it into the keyhole.
Once inside, I could faintly hear music drifting somewhere from the hall as I slowly made my way deeper into the house. In the kitchen, I staggered, finding paper bags from different restaurants containing his favorite dishes had been left untouched. The opposite wall had boxes of liquor. If I had no idea where I was, I’d think someone was throwing a party. Well, maybe he was—a party for one.
Following the music, I halted outside his library door.
“Toby?” I knocked a few times, one louder than the other. “Are you in here?” I pushed my weight on the door, prying the knob to budge open, but nothing worked. Giving a few more knocks and still nothing, I sighed, figuring that he’d come out sooner or later.
Besides, overtiredness made me dizzy, so I strode towards the living room, looking for the perfect place to rest for a little while as I waited on him to come out of his hiding.
I just needed a shuteye, an hour tops.
Chapter 23
Lucy
“Lucy?”
“What are you doing here?” His eyes flicked up and down, noting how shabby and sleepy I was. “You’ve been here this whole time?”
Why was he glaring at me like I was some unknown intruder?
Sighing, I gazed at him apologetically. “Sort of.”
He brooded some more. “Do you need something?”
Rude much? His unfeeling demeanor was getting to be too much. Since I had somewhat trespassed, though, I couldn’t really blame him. “Not really. I thought you’d like company.”
“How hard is it to understand that I need to be alone?” He sounded grating, condescending.
With a shaky breath, I got onto my feet, looking sorry. “Let me be here for you, Toby.”
I saw him flinch, as if it was the last thing he wanted because it was coming from me.
“There’s a spare room upstairs. You can use that for tonight, but please be out of here by morning.”
He had never spoken to me that way. Never.
“You don’t mean that—that’s a little harsh.”
We were back there again. Unfortunately.
It always came back to the root of everything—our demise. “I’m sorry…” I apologized. “There’s nothing I can do to change the past. Dwelling on it won’t help—weren’t you the one to suggest that we stay friends before? Well, here I am, wanting to be one—”
He brushed my words to the side. “There’s nothing I want—not a fucking damn thing!”
Opening my mouth, I wanted to say something about how our bond had become stronger in Madrid, but what had come out of his mouth had offended me to no end.
“Please leave.”
I was beyond hurt, but I wanted to be strong, braver; to help him battle his own terrors. “No.” I stood my ground. His words had cut deep, however I’d take on as much as I could until I could no longer withstand it. I had to keep trying, I supposed.
Toby flashed me an irritated look. “I’m too drunk to have you around.”
“I don’t mind you drunk.” I didn’t mind him. Period.
He huffed, looking at me heatedly. “Well, you should.”
“Well, I don’t.” My skin flushed from his thorough perusal. If this was his tactic to scare me off, he should do better.
Our gazes connected like magnets, attracting each other. I felt the power of his pull overpowering my body as he progressed towards me.
My chest heaved, nipples aching from the command of his sight, mouth thirsty to taste him… all of him.
“But…” he trailed off, continuing being vicious. “Then we were off to shag different people, right? Did you like the other men enjoying you the way I did? Did they pleasure you just the way you liked it?”
They were thorns not daggers, yet it still penetrated me, piercing small holes into my heart, bleeding me gently. “No. There’s no one like you.”
He huffed, stepping closer to read my depths, taking me in. Drowning me in his eyes. “I love… the way you lie.”
“You’re hurting me, Toby. Let me in. Let me stay. I want to help…” Common sense left me as I bared a little of myself again, needing to let him in.
He gave me a sharp look, raising his cocky brow. “You’re offering your body to temporarily ease my pain?”
He would never, would he? The old Toby was all heart. I had to call his bluff. “If that’s what it takes, then yes.”
“Even if I fuck just for my own pleasure?”
Selfish, but I nodded anyway. “Yes.”
He gauged me again, as if I had already deceived him once. “Remind me again why you’re freely offering your body now when it was just mere weeks ago that you couldn’t wait to get rid of me in Rome? Do you know how it felt having you that night, feeling as if we were back to the way we once were and then waking up alone in your bed?”