And You Will Find Love

"I do appreciate your concern and opinion," she said. "Please don't think me foolish, or naive. But you see, I could use a friend about now. I'm sometimes... maybe a little too trusting, especially with strangers. Lord knows, by now I shouldn't be. But you've convinced me you care about Tim, and probably very much. I'm very glad of that. That leads me to hope that you will be my friend in this matter of his adoption."

He wanted that very much now, at least. "Please, do consider me your friend."

"But you do believe... I can see it... that a custody battle would be harmful to Tim."

Voicing her sixth sense regarding his position in the matter made her feel suddenly alone.

He became both apologetic and persuasive. "It's just what I've thought, from my reading. Tim is a very sensitive lad. He loves easily and deeply. He can be hurt, without the person hurting him even knowing why or how. He's just a boy, growing up fast, as you say. The loss now of both of his parents has kind of taken the floor out from under him. I've seen it, and it's sometimes painful to watch. What Tim needs now is stability."

Barbara wondered. "Even more than love?"

Barbara left Stephen Collier's office with the understanding that she would pay for Tim's tuition, room and board, and any other expenses. If the Eatons tried to pay it, their check was to be returned to them.

She also left with conflicting feelings about Stephen. She believed she had his friendship, and wanted it. But she did not have his approval or support in the battle she knew she must wage, to adopt her godson. Not that Tim's grandmother was the Wicked Witch of the West. She didn't think that.

But Tim wanted her to be his mother, and she wanted him. He was the last link she had with the two people she had loved most. Having lost first Paul and then Gail, Tim was the glue that held her heart together. Since she began to doubt she would ever find a man she could love even as much as Paul, his son had become the meaning for the rest of her life.

Leaving the Glenview Academy administration building, Barbara again felt the conflict of friendship and betrayal she had suffered at other times and with other people she had trusted. When she looked behind at the window she thought was to Stephen Collier's office, she saw him looking out at her. He waved, but she did not wave back. To be true to herself, as Glenview was teaching a moral code to its boys, she just could not.