An Ambitious Man

"I have never blamed him for my past weakness, however I have blamed

him for his unholy marriage. Our fault was mutual. I was no

ignorant child; while young in years, I had sufficient knowledge of

human nature to protect myself had I used my will-power and my

reason. Like many another woman, I used neither; unlike the

majority, I did not repent my sin or its consequences. I have ever

believed you to be a more divinely born being than any children who

may have resulted from my lover's unholy marriage. I die strong in

the belief. God bless you, my dear child, and farewell."

Joy sat silent and pale like one in a trance for a long time after

she had finished reading. Then she said aloud, "So I am another like

Marah Adams; it was this knowledge which caused the rector to write

me that strange letter. It was this knowledge which sent him away

without coming to say one word of adieu. The woman who sent me the

message, sent it to him also. Well, I can be as brave as my mother

was. I, too, can disappear."

She arose and began silently and rapidly to make preparations for a

journey. She felt a nervous haste to get away from something--from

all things. Everything stable in the world seemed to have slipped

from her hold in the last few days. Home, mother, love, and now hope

and pride were gone too. She worked for more than two hours without

giving vent to even a sigh. Then suddenly she buried her face in her

hands and sobbed aloud: "Oh, mother, mother, you were not ashamed,

but I am ashamed for you! Why was I ever born? God forgive me for

the sinful thought, but I wish you had lied to me in place of telling

me the truth."