'No more wrong than any of the rest of us,' Birkin replied. 'The most
normal people have the worst subterranean selves, take them one by
one.' 'Sometimes I think it is a curse to be alive,' said Gerald with sudden
impotent anger.
'Well,' said Birkin, 'why not! Let it be a curse sometimes to be
alive--at other times it is anything but a curse. You've got plenty of
zest in it really.' 'Less than you'd think,' said Gerald, revealing a strange poverty in
his look at the other man.
There was silence, each thinking his own thoughts.
'I don't see what she has to distinguish between teaching at the
Grammar School, and coming to teach Win,' said Gerald.
'The difference between a public servant and a private one. The only
nobleman today, king and only aristocrat, is the public, the public.
You are quite willing to serve the public--but to be a private tutor--' 'I don't want to serve either--' 'No! And Gudrun will probably feel the same.' Gerald thought for a few minutes. Then he said: 'At all events, father won't make her feel like a private servant. He
will be fussy and greatful enough.' 'So he ought. And so ought all of you. Do you think you can hire a
woman like Gudrun Brangwen with money? She is your equal like
anything--probably your superior.' 'Is she?' said Gerald.
'Yes, and if you haven't the guts to know it, I hope she'll leave you
to your own devices.' 'Nevertheless,' said Gerald, 'if she is my equal, I wish she weren't a
teacher, because I don't think teachers as a rule are my equal.' 'Nor do I, damn them. But am I a teacher because I teach, or a parson
because I preach?' Gerald laughed. He was always uneasy on this score. He did not WANT to
claim social superiority, yet he WOULD not claim intrinsic personal
superiority, because he would never base his standard of values on pure
being. So he wobbled upon a tacit assumption of social standing. No,
Birkin wanted him to accept the fact of intrinsic difference between
human beings, which he did not intend to accept. It was against his
social honour, his principle. He rose to go.
'I've been neglecting my business all this while,' he said smiling.
'I ought to have reminded you before,' Birkin replied, laughing and
mocking.
'I knew you'd say something like that,' laughed Gerald, rather
uneasily.
'Did you?' 'Yes, Rupert. It wouldn't do for us all to be like you are--we should
soon be in the cart. When I am above the world, I shall ignore all
businesses.' 'Of course, we're not in the cart now,' said Birkin, satirically.