“Should I try again?” I ask, taking another sip of the nasty red she picked out.
“Nope. No way. Don’t look desperate.”
“I am desperate!”
“No, you aren’t. You’re horny.”
“And that’s different?”
“Sure, it is,” she muses. “You want some of his dick, which I bet is huge if I’m being honest right now. But I digress; you’re horny for what he can give you, not desperate in the sense that you’re going to die if it doesn’t happen right this second. Plus, judging by what you’ve told me, I think you still have some doubts about his motives, which is stupid as hell.”
I turn my head from where I had been looking out the front window, staring mindlessly into the dark night, and narrow my eyes at her.
“And you think I shouldn’t?”
“I didn’t say that. You’ve been hung up on that for a while now, so it makes sense you have reservations, but now that I’ve heard his side of things, I think it’s time to at least take his advice and try to put the past in the past to stay. He makes a good point; the longer you hang on to that pain—remembering how much it hurt—you feed it the fuel it needs to grow bigger. Also, you were just out of high school, Em. Then and now are like night and day. I’m not saying you should just jump in head first without thought, but I don’t think he would even be pursuing anything if he wasn’t serious about you.”
I mull over her words before responding. “You’re right,” I agree with a sigh of acceptance. “But we’ve had one, technically two, dates. If you call them that. How can I know he’s serious in that short period of time? What if he finds something about me that he doesn’t like? Hell, we haven’t even done anything past kissing. He might not like what he gets if we take it past that. He’s a lot more experienced than I am, and every time I’ve been with a guy, there wasn’t even a spark, let alone fireworks. He could figure out on the next date that I’m not worth the trouble or risks.”
She snorts, almost spilling her drink. “Yeah, no. First of all, you have known him your whole life. I doubt he’s going to find something he doesn’t like about you. Knowing someone that long means you know all their faults and just choose to look past them. Second of all,” she continues, jabbing the air with her finger. “How does every other happily committed couple know anything after two dates? They don’t, I’ll tell you! They just take a chance and enjoy the hell out of it. You can’t rush that. THIRD!” she screams, again stabbing the air between us. “You got Fourth of July-worthy fireworks from a kiss, Ember. You don’t have those kinds of sparks only to find out that sex gives you something like a sparkler.”
I open my mouth to respond, but Nikki is on a roll because before I can open my mouth, she jumps from her seat and throws her hands up in the air.
“AND! Let me tell you something, missy! He told you what ‘risks’ were holding him back before. Risks that I might add he is finding no trouble accepting are worth it to take now. He knows how close you are with your sister. He also knows Maddi can’t hold a secret to save her life. The second he made that play, he was accepting those risks with the confidence that he wanted to make that trouble worth it when y’all’s relationship went further.”
She lifts her wine glass and downs the contents of the half-full glass before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Only then does she flop down on the couch and lean her head back with a sigh.
“Ohhhkay,” I droll, my heart pounding as her words take root and the understanding and acceptance blooms.