The catastrophe came, and she was brought to the Mall as to her home.

The rigid formality of the place suffocated her: the prayers and the

meals, the lessons and the walks, which were arranged with a conventual

regularity, oppressed her almost beyond endurance; and she looked back

to the freedom and the beggary of the old studio in Soho with so much

regret, that everybody, herself included, fancied she was consumed with

grief for her father. She had a little room in the garret, where the

maids heard her walking and sobbing at night; but it was with rage, and

not with grief. She had not been much of a dissembler, until now her

loneliness taught her to feign. She had never mingled in the society of

women: her father, reprobate as he was, was a man of talent; his

conversation was a thousand times more agreeable to her than the talk

of such of her own sex as she now encountered. The pompous vanity of

the old schoolmistress, the foolish good-humour of her sister, the

silly chat and scandal of the elder girls, and the frigid correctness

of the governesses equally annoyed her; and she had no soft maternal

heart, this unlucky girl, otherwise the prattle and talk of the younger

children, with whose care she was chiefly intrusted, might have soothed

and interested her; but she lived among them two years, and not one was

sorry that she went away. The gentle tender-hearted Amelia Sedley was

the only person to whom she could attach herself in the least; and who

could help attaching herself to Amelia?

The happiness the superior advantages of the young women round about

her, gave Rebecca inexpressible pangs of envy. "What airs that girl

gives herself, because she is an Earl's grand-daughter," she said of

one. "How they cringe and bow to that Creole, because of her hundred

thousand pounds! I am a thousand times cleverer and more charming than

that creature, for all her wealth. I am as well bred as the Earl's

grand-daughter, for all her fine pedigree; and yet every one passes me

by here. And yet, when I was at my father's, did not the men give up

their gayest balls and parties in order to pass the evening with me?"

She determined at any rate to get free from the prison in which she

found herself, and now began to act for herself, and for the first time

to make connected plans for the future.

She took advantage, therefore, of the means of study the place offered

her; and as she was already a musician and a good linguist, she

speedily went through the little course of study which was considered

necessary for ladies in those days. Her music she practised

incessantly, and one day, when the girls were out, and she had remained

at home, she was overheard to play a piece so well that Minerva

thought, wisely, she could spare herself the expense of a master for

the juniors, and intimated to Miss Sharp that she was to instruct them

in music for the future.




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