The things he’s done?
Something cold and hard settles in my stomach. “What have you done?” My voice wavers.
He holds my stare for a moment longer, and then he looks away, back to the wall. “Nothing. Forget I said anything. I don’t even fucking know why I came here.” He stumbles back a step, his back hitting the wall.
I try not to let his words hurt me.
I try…with no success. They sting like a bitch.
Breathing through the hurt, I focus on him. “Let me help you,” I say softly, taking a step closer.
His eyes turn to mine. I can see fissures of pain in them, and they crack me wide open.
“No one can help me,” he whispers, broken. “I was lost a long time ago.”
Tears start to swim in his dark eyes, and I nearly start bawling.
“Fuck,” he mutters angrily. Then, he tips his head back against the wall, hitting it with a thud. He shuts his eyes and begins breathing in and out deeply.
I see movement from the corner of my eye and turn to see Cece standing in the doorway of her bedroom.
“All okay?” she asks, concerned.
“He’s just drunk,” I answer.
“I’m not drunk. I’m just happy,” Kas mutters.
My eyes flash to him. His are still closed.
I remember saying those very words to him when I was drunk.
“Do you want me to make coffee?” Cece asks.
I shake my head. “I’ll just put him to bed. Let him sleep it off.”
“I don’t wanna go to bed,” Kas mumbles.
“You’re going to bed,” I tell him.
“You need a hand?” Cece asks.
“I think I’ve got it. He can walk.” I nudge his chin with my hand. “Can’t you?”
Sleepy eyes open to half-mast. “Huh?”
“Can you walk?”
“Of course I can,” he slurs, drunkenly sleepy.
I reach over and lock the door. Then, I put my arm around his waist. Gripping ahold of him, I move him off the wall. He starts to walk with me, but he’s leaning a lot of his weight on me.
God, he weighs a lot.
I consider myself to be quite strong for my size, but I’m buckling under his weight.
I keep moving, trying to get him to pick up the pace before I fall over. We pass by Cece.
“See you in the morning,” I tell her. “And sorry about…you know.” I tip my head in Kas’s direction.
“Don’t worry about it. And he came to see you, so all is not lost,” she whispers that last part.
My eyes flash up to Kas, whose eyes are firmly shut, but I’m sure he heard her.
I give Cece an annoyed look.
She just grins at me and then disappears back into her room.
Sighing, I maneuver Kas into my bedroom and then onto my bed, which he hits with a thud and nearly takes me down with him.
Righting myself, I walk over and switch on the bedside lamp. The light illuminates his gorgeous face.
He’s sprawled out on my bed, eyes shut, breathing deeply, with one leg hanging off the edge.
Of all the ways I imagined Kas being in my bed, this was not one of them. Drunk and passed out.
He’s going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning.
I unlace his trainers and pull them off. Then, I stare at his trackpants and T-shirt.
Should I undress him?
Maybe not the pants, but I’ll just take his T-shirt off, so he doesn’t get too hot.
I lean over and grab the hem of his T-shirt to lift it.
His hand whips out and catches my wrist, stopping me. “Don’t.” His low voice is a warning.
I swallow back my surprise, feeling like I was just caught doing something wrong. “I was just trying to make you comfortable.”
“Don’t…want you to…see me,” he mumbles. Then, his tight grip on my wrist loosens, and he rolls over.
He doesn’t want me to see him? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
I retreat back, rubbing at my wrist. Leaving the room, I go to the kitchen and get a glass of water and some aspirin for the morning.
I go back to my bedroom, and he looks fast asleep, his breaths deep and even. I put the water and pills on the nightstand, and then I pull the duvet over him, covering him.
Staring down at him, emotion grips my chest.
I reach over and brush his hair back from his face. “Sleep well,” I whisper. Then, I lean in and press my lips to his forehead.
“You’ve made me feel again, Daisy,” he murmurs, surprising me.
I shift back and stare at his face. His eyes are still closed.
Then, he lets out a shallow breath. “You’ve made me feel…and I fucking hate that.”
Sadness engulfs me at his words.
I move back and watch him for a long moment.
Finally, I switch off the lamp. On quiet feet, I move through my room and close the door, leaving him alone.
“You’ve made me feel.”
His words haunt me all the way back to the living room.
I grab the blanket off the back of the armchair and turn off the light.
I could sleep in Jesse’s unused room, but I don’t think I’ll be getting much sleep tonight. So, I lie down on the sofa, cover myself with the blanket, and stare up at the darkened ceiling.
Twenty-Nine
My eyes blink open. The room is at the point where light is just entering dark, casting an eerie glow.
And I’m not alone.
I push myself up to a seated position.
Kas is in the armchair. He’s leaning forward, his forearms resting on his thighs, his hands clasped together, his eyes watching me. I see that his shoes are on his feet, like he’s not staying.