I grinned. “Yeah. ’Cause I’m awesome.”
Ryan laughed. “Yeah, you are.” He shifted to face me. “I missed you,” he said, voice suddenly rough. “I was worried sick.”
“I missed you too,” I said, reaching for his hand to give it a squeeze. “I’m working out a system to send messages back and forth. I’ll probably have Tessa summon a particular demon periodically who could carry mail for us.” I gave him a rueful smile and shrug. “It’s better than nothing, I figure.”
“Wait.” Comprehension flared, and his eyes narrowed. “How long are you going for?”
I hesitated, grimacing. “I don’t know,” I told him. “Probably not until I do the shikvihr initiation, which could be about six months.” Or more, I added silently.
“Six months!” Shock and grief etched lines in his face. “Kara, you can’t be gone for six months. What about your job, and Tessa and…and everything?”
“And you,” I said quietly. Sighing, I dropped my head into my hands. “I—” My throat tightened. “I’m submitting a letter of resignation to the police department.” That had been the most difficult decision, but I knew I had no choice. At least this way I stood a chance of perhaps getting my job back someday. “And I’ve already talked to Tessa and Jill.” I didn’t have to tell him that the conversation we were having right now was me saying goodbye to him. He knew that.
“Wait.” I lifted my head and looked over at him, frowning. “Hasn’t anybody wondered where I’ve been for the past two months?”
Ryan gave me a faint smile. “Tessa covered that. She told everyone you had a family emergency and had to be away for a while.” He paused. “I also talked to your Sergeant, Cory Crawford. I filled him in since I figured it’d be easier to tie up all the loose ends with his help.”
I raised an eyebrow. “That must’ve been an interesting discussion.” Cory had found out about my arcane connections by accident, and had never really been able to wrap his head around the idea. He tolerated and accepted it, but it was damn clear he was never going to be comfortable with it.
Ryan gave a low chuckle. “He actually surprised me. He only had one pained look, and then…” He sobered. “He was worried about you. Like we all were.”
“I tried to get a message home, but it never worked out,” I said quietly. “But I promise I’ll keep in contact as often as possible this time.” I looked up at him. “I’m sorry. I wish I could do more. I don’t want to leave you, any of you,” I said, voice cracking. “But I don’t have a choice. If I stay here someone will come after me.” I pulled the collar of my sweater down and touched the sigils on my chest. “I’m a weaponized summoner. And they’re not going to let me roam freely.”
Ryan shifted to look down at my chest. He lifted a hand, touched the sigil near my throat with the tips of his fingers and went very still. For a brief instant his eyes flickered with ancient potency. Then he blinked, and they returned to normal. “Kara,” he murmured, fingers still on the sigil. “I am so sorry.” The words echoed in my mind, and I knew the sorrow came from Szerain.
I leaned in and kissed him. He returned the kiss with a gentle passion, lifted his hand from my chest to the side of my face. Where our other kiss had been desperate and fierce, this one was tender and spoke more to the hope of a future yet to come than a fear we might never see each other again. I slid a hand up to his neck, deepening the kiss before gently breaking it.
“I don’t want to leave you,” I said softly.
He held my face cradled between his hands as he looked into my eyes. “You will come back,” he replied with the faintest undercurrent of potency.
“No power in the ’verse can stop me,” I said, smiling.
He chuckled. “I’ll make a nerd out of you yet.” He stroked his thumb along my cheek, gazed at me as if trying to memorize my face. “They know not what they have done.”
“They fucked with the wrong bitch,” I said. I kissed him again then sighed. “I need to prepare.”
Pain flickered behind his eyes, but he gave a nod. He stood, gave me a hand up, and together we headed inside. “Do you need any help?” he asked. “Packing? Anything boring like that?”
“I’m pretty much already packed,” I said. I’d done most of that earlier in the day. I knew I really didn’t need to bring any clothing—which felt strange—though I did pack new running shoes, a couple of sports bras, and my favorite pair of jeans. If the zrila could duplicate any of those I’d be happy. But once those were in the duffel I proceeded to fill it with more esoteric items like coffee, fashion magazines, feminine supplies, sunscreen, and more coffee. “I’m bringing an absolute buttload of coffee,” I said with a wry smile.
“Good. I’ve been around you when you haven’t had any.” He gave a low laugh. “Do the entire demon realm a favor and bring lots.”
“I’m dangerous enough, right?” Then I winced because it was true.
“Yeah, you got it going on.” He still smiled but was having a harder time hiding the worry. “When’s the big moment?”
“Not long. Maybe twenty minutes.” I shrugged. Then I grew more serious. “You want to—” I barely stopped myself from saying “see,” “—meet him, don’t you?”He shifted. “You mean Mzatal?”
“Yes, Mr. FBI suspicious guy. Mzatal.”
A scowl curved his mouth. “Well, shit, Kara, you’re going off for half a year or more with one of these lords.” A hint of jealousy flared in his eyes that I knew was Ryan’s and not Szerain’s. “I don’t exactly have a lot of faith in them, y’know?”
Well, now I knew I was right not to mention getting jiggy with Mzatal. “I do know.” I smiled. “Which is why I’m going to let you come downstairs for the summoning if you want.” This wasn’t the first time I’d invited him to witness a summoning, but this time I had the ulterior motive of reassuring both Szerain and Mzatal that all was as well as could possibly be. That made the unknown risk of having the two demonic lords in the same room worth it. I hoped.
“Really?” He sounded like a kid who’d been told he was going to Disney World.
“Yeah, but this is different, Ryan.” I kept my face as sober as possible. “This is a demonic lord. You have to be totally naked for this.”
Ryan tilted his head in thought, shrugged, and then began unbuttoning his pants, grinning. I burst out laughing.
“I should totally let you meet Mzatal in the buff,” I told him. “That’d teach you.”
“It might intimidate him,” he said with a laugh. “Best not to antagonize him.”
I snorted. “With your ego perhaps.” This was what I would miss the most—the camaraderie and easy banter. Would I still have that with Szerain? I didn’t want to think about it.
“Okay, let me finish getting my stuff together,” I said. “Then you can carry it downstairs for me.” I gave him a sidelong glance. “That’s really why I’m letting you come: to carry my shit.”
“At your service, Miz Gillian.” He gave a mock salute. “You have anything ready yet?”
“The big duffel in my bedroom,” I told him. “I just want to grab the rest of the fashion magazines I bought for the zrila.”
Ryan headed off down the hall while I busied myself getting the last few things that I could think to bring.
A moment later I heard a groan. “Jesus, Kara,” I heard from the bedroom. “Is your whole house in here?” He hauled the duffel out of the bedroom, staggering comically under the weight.
“If you want to head to the basement with it,” I said, “I’ll be down in just a few to get things started.” He gave a nod and tromped down the stairs.
I grabbed a few more things and was about to head downstairs myself when Zack came out of the guest room and quietly closed the door behind him. I flicked a glance behind me to make sure that Ryan was already downstairs, then leveled a slight frown at Zack. “Are you going to let him be present for the summoning?”
He gave me a small nod. “I’m not sure it’s the best idea,” he said. “But then again, it just might be.” He shrugged. “Better if I’m close by in any case.”
I smiled in relief. “Thanks. Makes me feel better about it too.” I headed to the kitchen, trusting him to follow. I grabbed the bag containing the rest of the coffee. “What happens now with your oath to not talk about Szerain’s exile?”
Zack shrugged. “I won’t speak directly of that which is not known to you, but it’s pointless to avoid what’s already clearly revealed. If I’m named kiraknikahl for something as asinine as that, so be it.”
I snorted. “Sounds reasonable to me,” I said, then took a deep breath. “I can sense Szerain more now.”
Zack leaned against the kitchen doorway, folded his arms across his chest. “Kind of like putting the lug nuts back on the wheel. Sometimes you forget to tighten them all down.”
“Hunh. Hate it when that happens.” I gave him a slight smile, then sobered. “You’re Rhyzkahl’s ptarl.”
He gave me a single nod. I stayed silent for several heartbeats while I tried to figure out what I wanted to say. “Has he ever done anything this—” I gestured to myself and the sigil scars, “—extreme before? Did you know he…?”
“I knew Rhyzkahl had chosen that path,” he replied in a voice heavy with pain. “It is part of the reason I am here, rather than there.” He shook his head. “But he has travelled far along it in the years I have been on Earth.”
“Did you know he had such designs on me?” I asked, eyes intent upon him.