I know I should encourage his recovery, but every time he touches me, it calms me down. Makes me less nervous.
I need that right now.
“Okay,” I whisper.
He smiles and then pulls off my shirt. His mouth covers my right breast, and after giving that one attention, he moves to my left. Then he pushes me until my back is against the couch and he’s hovering over me. His lips drag across my mouth, my neck, my breasts. His breath warms up every part of me while his hand works it’s way inside my panties.
He adjusts me until I have one leg lifted over the back of the couch and one leg on the floor. He rests his lips against mine and whispers, “Watch me.”
I open my eyes, just as his fingers slip inside me. I moan, struggling to keep my eyes open, but he likes the eye contact.
I like it, too. It’s new for me.
In the past, with Asa, I’ve always kept my eyes shut tight because I never wanted to look at him.
With Luke, I’m scared I’ll miss something. I don’t want to miss the way he looks at me, the way he responds to my noises. I love the eye contact.
He presses his thumb against me while his fingers remain inside of me and we only have to keep eye contact for no more than thirty seconds, because that’s all it takes for his touch to completely send me over the edge. As soon as I start shaking beneath him, he claims my mouth with his, swallowing his name as it flows from my lips. He kisses me until it’s over, and then lowers himself until he’s pressed against me. I can feel him bulging through his sweatpants and it creates another need in me.
“I think I’m better,” he says, moving his hips against me. “I’m pretty sure it’s safe to be inside you now.”
His voice is gravelly—needy—and it would be so easy just to push down his sweatpants and let him fill me. But I would feel terrible if something bad happened because we were too impatient to wait the recommended time. His heart may not be strong enough for that yet.
“How about we compromise?” I whisper. “One more week and then we’ll take it really slow.”
Luke groans against my neck, but pulls back. “One more week,” he agrees. “But then be prepared for multiple times a day. I have a lot of catching up to do.” I laugh as he sidles up to my side, pulling me against him. I’m facing him, my hands on his chest. I trace my fingers around his bandage.
“I wonder what your scar will look like,” I whisper.
His hand meets my hair and he runs his fingers through it, down my back, over my arm. “I don’t know,” he says. “I just hope you kiss it a lot.”
I laugh. “Don’t worry, once we’re in the clear, you’re gonna have a hard time keeping my mouth off you. I like your body too much.” I look up at him. “Is that shallow? That I like looking at you with your shirt off?”
He shakes his head with a grin. “Nah. The first thing that attracted me to you was your ass.”
“I thought it was the drool on my chin when you woke me up in class that first day.”
He nods. “Yeah. You’re right. It was definitely the slobber.”
I laugh. I love that he’s able to make me laugh at a time like this. Our lips meet and we kiss for a solid five minutes. Until he starts to press into me again. I feel terrible that he’s being tortured so much, but there’s no way I’m allowing him to go against doctors orders. I need him to be as healthy as he can as soon as he can. I push him away and try to change the subject to something that will help him recover.
“Do you think you’ll get to see your mother soon?” I ask him.
He talks about his mother a lot. I hate that we’re in hiding right now, because that means he can’t see her until the next hearing is over and Asa is hopefully behind bars again.
Of course, there’s a chance he’ll walk free again. But we don’t talk about that possibility.
“We’ll see her when this is all over. She’s going to love you for me.”
I smile, wondering what that’s like to have a mother who loves you. I start to think about my only family-Stephen-and then my smile fades.
Luke notices, because he runs the backs of his fingers over my cheek. “What’s wrong?”
I try to shake away his concern. “Just thinking about Stephen,” I say. “Hoping he’s safe during all this.”
Luke’s hand finds mine and he slides his fingers through it. “He’s safe, Sloan. He has twenty-four hour security. You don’t have to worry about him, I made sure of it.”
I hate that Asa has put us in this situation. A situation where I can’t even see my brother. Luke can’t even see his mother. We can’t leave this apartment. And we have to have security for anyone we love.