About twenty students sat down in a casual group and the teacher sat in front of them. He opened a literature book and started talking about a famous author, O. Henry. When the teacher began to explain O. Henry's real name was Sydney Porter, Luis's mind started to wander. Luis had loved studying literature in high school. And he'd never had the opportunity to go to college. After his parents threw him out when they discovered he was gay, he met a middle aged guy and moved in with him. They lived as a couple for a while until Luis couldn't take it anymore. The guy was nice enough; he treated Luis very well and with more respect than he'd ever been treated before. But Luis wanted more out of life, only he didn't have many options. One afternoon when the guy was in his office, Luis packed up the few things he'd brought with him and took a bus to New York. He lived in New York and escorted older gay men to parties and functions for a while. There was nothing sexual about this: Luis only escorted them. Then he met Jase, fell in love, became a fairly well known male model, and his real life began. But he'd always wanted to go to college and do something important with his life.

When the teacher started talking about O. Henry's personal life, and his imprisonment for embezzlement, Luis noticed most of the students weren't paying attention. Some were staring up at the blue sky. Some were staring down at their books and daydreaming. But one guy in particular leaned forward on his elbows with wide eyes. He was hanging on to every word the teacher said. Luis remembered him. This was the dark, handsome guy in the wheel chair he'd met at the reunion, and the same guy Luis had bumped into outside the men's locker room a day earlier. His name was Alec and he wasn't in a wheel chair now. Luis assumed this must have been right before he had his accident in the swimming pool at Betsy Melchiorri's graduation party.

Then the teacher switched to another author who lived around the same time O. Henry lived, Oscar Wilde. “Do you think he created his notorious lifestyle to gain attention?” the teacher asked.

Luis didn't know much about Oscar Wilde and he was dying to hear more, so he stopped pruning for a moment and turned to see who would answer the question.

Alec spoke first. He didn't raise his hand; he spoke out and said, “If you read the emotional scenes he wrote, and you see how he treated his characters, you have to understand he didn't do anything to get attention. His work garnered him the attention, if anything. It wasn't his name, his line of bullshit, or his narcissism. It wasn't about notoriety. He couldn't have cared less about getting attention. He loved what he wrote, but in his personal life the demons always got the best of him. I think he was filled with conflict. He was who he was.”

The teacher didn't seem to agree, and he challenged Alec with some good points. While Alec continued to speak, Luis noticed he was wearing a black turtle neck and black jeans on a warm day when everyone else wore lighter, cooler things. His thick wavy hair wasn't styled in any particular way: it fell wherever it wanted to fall after he towel dried it. And he had that heavy five o'clock shadow thing going on Luis always loved in men.

“But maybe we are overestimating his motives,” the teacher said. “Maybe we're giving him more credit than he deserves. Or, maybe he was a narcissistic lunatic like so many authors seem to be.”

Alec shook his head in strong disagreement. He said, “No, we're not. If anything we are underestimating him. He lived in a time when things were very conventional and men like him didn't have the freedoms and options we have now. Sodomy was illegal. The fact he was rumored to be homosexual made it more intense. The passion and pain are all there, too, between the lines. You can almost feel it in every word he wrote.”

When Alec said the word homosexual, a few people rolled their eyes. When he said sodomy, some laughed and made faces. One girl yawned out loud. A guy winced and rubbed his behind. But a few more perked up and joined in the discussion. Luis was so fascinated he set down the pruning sheers and joined the other students on the grass. He'd forgotten how much he missed this kind of open academic discussion, where people could agree to disagree and everyone remained on friendly terms. Luis met ... and suffered ... so many stupid, vapid people as a male model he often went home with headaches.

“But would anything have been different for him nowadays?” the teacher asked. He was goading the students, trying to make them think beyond their scope of reality. “Even though gay men have come a long way, it's not all that much better in l986 than it was when he was around.”

Alec lowered his head and frowned. “It might have been a little easier for him now. But probably not much easier. There's still a lot of fear and discrimination today, especially with the AIDS virus. In some ways, it might even be worse now than it was then. And the future doesn't look much brighter with AIDS killing so many men.”

Luis couldn't remain silent a minute longer. “But it does get better. Gay men will be able to marry one day, and they will be able to join the military and do all the things everyone else does. It's not going to be easy. But things will change in time.”

Alec turned and shot Luis a serious glance. “How do you know this?”

His stare was so penetrating Luis gulped. His dark eyes so piercing Luis almost lost his voice. In a weak tone, Luis said, “I was guessing. It has to get better. Everyone and everything evolves eventually. Why I wouldn't be afraid to guess that one day we might even have an African American President of the United States.”

The teacher smiled at Luis and said, “That's a very good point. We do evolve as a society. We always have in the past. And I agree, I think we will have a black President. But not in our lifetimes. I don't think something like that will happen until we're all long gone.”

Luis shrugged. “You never know.” Then he slowly rose, stepped back, and reached for his pruning sheers.

When the class was finished, everyone gathered their books and paraphernalia and went back inside the school. The only one who lingered outside was Alec. Luis had moved to the other end of the building by then. When Alec walked up behind him he was bent over a yew trying to prune the back end of it away from the brick building.

Alec tapped his arm and said, “That was an interesting insight you mentioned.”

Luis stood up and smiled. Though he knew there would, indeed, be an African American President in their lifetime, he couldn't pursue the matter. There was no way to prove it. “Thanks,” he said. “I like to think we all get better with time, not worse. We evolve. There's no reason why this country can't have a black President.” He had trouble focusing, because Alec had such dark intense eyes.




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