Liam gave a slight shake of his head. Patting Shaggy, he said, “You broke her heart, man. I don’t know how or why she decided to give two fucks about you, but you broke her.”
And that broke Ethan even more than Shaggy’s desertion. “I know. I had to. She started talking about a relationship, and I can’t do that to her.”
Liam snorted. “I can see how that would torture a woman.”
“No, you don’t understand.” Ethan forced a hand through his hair and immediately thought of when the fingers clutching at his head had been Rue’s. Dammit. “She has this amazing passion for what she does, and she can’t do it in New York. I mean, she’s probably about to leave for the Galapagos, and then there’s some shark finning thing I don’t know where, and in the spring she’s going to the Arctic to photograph seal pups. And you know there will be something after that.”
Liam shrugged. “So what? So she travels.”
No. Ethan kept the denial silent because it wasn’t something Liam would understand. People who traveled still felt like they had homes. Rue had an empty house in Flatbush and the only thing that made it belong to her was the Starbucks in the fridge. She needed to go, and he needed her gone, and for life to go back to the way it was. “I told you before,” Ethan said, “it’s more than that. It’s like her entire life is out there. If she came back here because of me, I feel like I’d be extinguishing some of that passion she has for life.”
“Ever consider that she might have as much passion for you as she does for sharks?” Liam asked, sounding pissed. For a minute, Ethan thought Liam might make good early on his promise to try to put him on the floor right then, but the hard exterior cracked. “Actually, didn’t she punch a shark?”
“They parted as friends,” Ethan said. “I can’t explain it. I just know she belongs out there.”
Liam shook his head. “How many chances do you think you’re going to get?” When Ethan didn’t say anything, Liam rubbed his face and swore under his breath. “You had an amazing wife who adored you. Some people never get that—not even once—and there are no words for the way you lost her. But you’ve got a second chance. This woman, for whatever reason, wants you, and you’re pushing her away. You can tell yourself it’s the right thing all you want, but it’s not right. It’s safe and boring and a little pathetic, and one day you’re going to wake up staring at that ugly dog and realize you blew it. And for what? Because you’re scared?”
“Don’t you think I get that?” Ethan said. He had to force his voice low. The last thing he needed was to run off the dog, too. “The thought of losing her terrifies me. I can’t go through that again.”
Liam looked at him like he was stupid. Hell, he probably was.
“Then you need to grow a pair,” Liam said. “Because you’ve been scared for a long damn time.” He shrugged, the feigned nonchalance as stiff as a board. “Sometimes falling in love with someone, or at least moving in that direction, is reason enough to take a chance, but suit yourself.”
Ethan stared at Liam, but he’d gone back to his computer screen. Conversation over. Except…
“How do you know so much about what happened?” Ethan asked.
“I talked to Rue.” The words were a little too casual. Something was up.
“Why the hell did you do that?” Ethan snapped.
Liam looked up then and grinned. “She needed a model for her calendar.”
“And?”
“And you’re looking at Mr. July.”
Chapter Sixteen
Rue scrolled through her most recent shoot. The pictures were amazing. Men with bodies cut from granite holding tiny, mewling kittens and puppies so little they were nothing but bellies and feet. They were freaking adorable, and she was proud of her work. Really proud. There was only one model left to shoot. She could spend the rest of the evening putting the calendar together, and after that, all that was left to do was email the files to the charity.
And pack.
She paused on one of the pictures. A firefighter, smudged with soot and glistening with sweat. He wore his turnout pants and nothing from the waist up. It was raw. Stunning, really, with the play of light making sharp edges out of every plane and ridge of his body, all of this made even more dramatic by the forlorn-looking retriever pup, so tiny it fit in the palm of one rugged hand. The overall effect was devastating, in a loins-run-amok kind of way, but her loins behaved themselves perfectly.