"So what do you need?" asked Wolfe. Peering at him, I suddenly had a strange feeling the eye patch really was on a different eye from last time. I should've paid more attention. "Another gun?"
I returned to the task at hand. "No, sir. I didn't even need the first one, but thanks for lending it to me." I removed it from the bag and handed it to him.
He gave the gun a once-over and then set it inside a drawer. "Fixed your problem? You can still hang on to it if you want."
"I'm leaving the country. Bringing it over the border might cause me some trouble."
"Fair enough," he said. He grabbed the cookie jar and took off the lid, leaning it toward me. An amazing scent drifted out. "Want one? I just made them."
I was really regretting not being able to tell Adrian about this. "No thanks, sir. I've had more than enough sugar these last few weeks." I felt like I should have a frequent customer card for Pies and Stuff.
"I thought you looked better. Not all skin and bones anymore." He nodded in approval, which felt really weird and slightly creepy. "So where are you two kids going?"
"Mexi - oh, Adrian's not going with me. I'm going with someone else."
"Really?" He slid the squirrel back across the counter. "I'm surprised. I always figured when you two left here, you went home and had your own private 'training sessions.'"
I felt myself turning bright red. "No! It's not like - I mean, we're just friends, sir."
"I had a friend like that once. Silver Tooth Sally." He got that faraway expression that always came on when he had an anecdote to share.
"I'm sorry, did you say - "
"Never met a woman like Sally," he interrupted. "We fought our way across Switzerland together, always watching each other's backs. We finally got out alive - just barely - and she wanted to come back to the States and settle down. Not me. I had dreams, you see. I was a young man then, drawn to danger and glory. I left her and went off to live with an Orcadian shaman. It took two years and a lot of vision quests to realize my mistake, but when I got back, I couldn't find her. When I close my eye at night, I can still see that tooth sparkle like a star. It haunts me, girl. It haunts me."
I frowned. "I don't think the Orcadians have vision quests, sir. Or shamans."
Wolfe leaned forward and shook a finger at me, his eye wide. "Learn from my mistakes, girl. Don't go to the Orkneys. You don't need some mystical vision to see what's in front of you, you hear me?"
I gulped. "Yes, sir."
I hurried out after that, thinking that being in a different country from Malachi Wolfe might be a good thing.
The next morning, I prepared to tell Jill goodbye, but she beat me to it and showed up at my door. It was the first time we'd truly spoken since the morning after that last dream with Adrian.
She walked into my room and frowned when she saw the suitcase. "You're really going?"
"Yes. And I'm sure you know why."
She crossed her arms and looked me straight in the eye, without any of the reservation she'd shown last time. I had trouble holding that stare. "Sydney, don't leave Adrian because of me."
"It's more complicated than that," I said automatically.
"It's really not," she said. "From everything I've seen and heard, you're just afraid. You've always controlled every detail of your life. When you couldn't - like with the Alchemists - you found a way to seize back that control."
"There's nothing wrong with wanting control," I snapped.
"Except that we can't always have it, and sometimes that's a good thing. A great thing, even," she added. "And that's how it is with Adrian. No matter how hard you try, you aren't going to be able to control your feelings for him. You can't help loving him, and so you're running away. I'm just an excuse."
Who was she to lecture me like this? "You think I'm lying about how awkward it is for you to see everything that happens between us? Every intimate detail is on display. I can't do that. I can't live like that."
"Adrian's learned to."
"Well, he's had to."
"Exactly." Some of her fierceness mellowed. "Sydney, he brought me back from the dead. It's the greatest thing anyone can or will do for me. I can't pay him back, but I can let him live his life the way he wants to. I don't expect him to shelter me because of the bond, and I'm not going to judge him - or you. Someday, he and I will learn to block each other."
"Someday," I reiterated.
"Yes. And until then, we do the best we can. All you're doing by leaving is making three people miserable."
"Three?" I frowned. "I'm helping you."
"Do you really think I'm happy when he's miserable? Do you think I like the darkness that crawls over him?" When I said nothing, she pushed forward. "Look, I don't have the same physical reaction to you that he does, but when he's with you, he's so full of joy . . . it radiates through to me, and it's one of the greatest experiences I've ever had. I've never been in love like you guys are."
"I'm not - " I couldn't say it, and she gave me a knowing look. I tried a different tactic. "Staying here is dangerous, especially with him. The Alchemists might find out about everything - him, my tattoo, Ms. Terwilliger, and God knows what else."
"And if they don't find out, look at what you get. Adrian. The rest of us. Magic. The chance to uncover their secrets. I know you love this life. Why would you give it up? You're too smart to get caught. We'll help you. Do you really think Marcus and his Merry Men can do that much fighting when they're always on the run?"
I shook my head. "They're like me. They understand me."
She was obstinate. "They aren't like you at all. They talk. You act."
It was so surprising to see her like this, so confident and so much wiser than her years. It was also a little irritating. If she was so wise, why couldn't she understand how much was at stake?
"Jill, staying is a big risk - in all ways."
"Of course it is!" she exclaimed, her eyes flashing with anger. "Any life worth living is going to have risks. If you go to Mexico, you'll regret it - and I think you know that."
My phone rang, cutting off my next response. It was Eddie. He rarely called, and panic seized me.
"What's wrong?" I demanded.
He sounded mystified. "I wouldn't say anything's wrong . . . just surprising. Is Jill with you? You guys should really come down. We're outside"