I had no doubt she’d do just that. Never say Jackson wasn’t a smart man.
“I’d say he’s only doing what he should be doing,” I said. “But you know that already. So instead I promise when we get back home, I’m coming to your house and we’re going to watch girlie movies. I’ll do your toenails and we’ll talk trash about our husbands.”
“I’m up for movies and trash talk, but there is no way in hell I’m letting you near my nails.”
“You’re never going to let me live down the fact that I mixed up top coat and base coat that one time, are you?”
“Not if I can help it.” She laughed. “What have you been up to? How’s Delaware?”
“Going okay. Miss you guys and the kids. But I’m meeting some nice people.” I twirled the straw in my water. Felicia hadn’t always been supportive of my submissive life. She wasn’t someone I could talk to about Nathaniel’s request.
“Nathaniel in meetings a lot?”
I hesitated, trying to decide how to reply and finally said, “He is today.”
“O-kay,” she said. “You don’t want to talk about it. We’ll change the subject. Linda’s going to pick up all the kids this afternoon and keep them until tomorrow. I don’t know what I’ll do with a quiet house.”
“Think about Linda with all five of our kids.”
“She’s a brave woman. Last Thanksgiving about did me in.”
We both laughed, remembering. Jackson had been pretend flying one twin while the other one, along with Elizabeth, decided to “help” with dinner. Felicia had been with me in the other room and by the time anyone figured out what the kids were up to, the potatoes and stuffing, along with Linda’s signature crème brûlée, had been salted and sugared and peppered.
My salad arrived and for the next twenty minutes, Felicia and I chatted and laughed about anything and everything. I couldn’t remember the last time it had just been the two of us talking. Before we hung up, I promised again to come visit as soon as we got home.
I was smiling after we said good-bye. Jackson had come into the bedroom with a snack and Felicia wasted no time getting off the phone. They were so good together. I’d wondered at first if they had gotten married too quickly, but hearing and seeing them so many years later, it was obvious they’d made the right decision.
I looked down at the list I’d made and frowned. For once, writing hadn’t helped me clear my head. Sighing, I waved the waitress over to take my plate away and bring the check. I had to fit in a workout before Nathaniel made it to the room, but I wanted to go for a run and I had to let my food settle first.
I sent Nathaniel a text. Finished lunch. Going to go for walk before I run a mile or two.
His reply was almost instant. Be careful.
You too, I couldn’t help but say back. He didn’t text anything else.
For about an hour, I walked around the neighborhood where the restaurant was and did a little bit of shopping. As it got to be two o’clock, I hailed a cab so I could get ready for my run. But more important, so I could prepare mentally for Nathaniel.
“What would you like to eat?” Nathaniel asked me five hours later, while we sat at an upscale steakhouse.
He’d changed the rules for the evening: I didn’t have to sit next to him and I didn’t have to keep my hand on his thigh. He had picked out my dress, though, and I still wasn’t allowed to speak without permission.
Usually when he asked me that question, I’d reply with something like, “Whatever you wish, Master,” or, “I don’t care—you decide.” But tonight I didn’t want him to decide for me. He raised an eyebrow when I replied with my salad choice, entrée, and beverage, but nodded and gave my order to the waiter.
I fidgeted in my seat. The collar felt unusually heavy tonight, like a weight. I wondered why I had ever agreed to an entire week. How many days had passed and how many were left? And feeling the way I did, why would I ever agree to do something like it on a more permanent basis?
“You seem withdrawn tonight,” Nathaniel said and took a sip of red wine. “Distant. And you’re restless.”
“I’m not allowed to speak unless you give me permission.”
He sighed heavily and templed his fingers on the table. In the dim light of the restaurant, the faint lines around his eyes were noticeable. Of course those green eyes of his were just as intense and knowing as ever. I forced myself to remain still under his scrutiny.
“I’m not going to take your collar off in the middle of the restaurant, but I do wonder what’s going on in that head of yours.”