“This smells so good,” I said, putting it down to cool. “Want me to help you set the table?”
“That would be great.”
Linda’s dining room had changed over the years, the biggest addition being the small kiddie table she added for guests like the ones she had tonight. Sometimes the kids ate at the table with the adults, but they seemed to enjoy their own space, so tonight we were going to let them eat by themselves. Except for Maddox, who had insisted he was too old to eat at the kiddie table.
“We heard from the adoption agency,” Elaina whispered, looking over her shoulder.
“Oh?” I tried to be nonchalant, but I knew how important this was to them.
Her face broke out into a huge grin. “We’re picking our son up tomorrow.”
I dropped the silver and she scooped it up. “Really?” I choked out.
“Yes, but we’re not telling anyone until it’s a done deal. You never know. I had to tell someone though. It’s eating me trying to keep it a secret.”
“I thought you and Todd looked different tonight.”
She nodded and placed the silver around the table at each setting. “It’s been a rough time. Infertility and then nothing with the adoption for so long. I feel like everything should happen right now, when I want it, and I’m learning patience is hard.”
I started putting out the napkins. “I understand. It’s tough when things happen you don’t have control over and can’t make fit your timetable.”
“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”
“The things we appreciate the most are the things we have to work for. Wait for. If it’s handed to us, we don’t value it as much.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Are you sure you aren’t a psychologist?”
We laughed while we finished setting the table and then called everyone in to grab a plate and get their food. As everyone sat, my advice to Elaina repeated in my head. It made sense, what I’d told her. Looking across the table to where Nathaniel sat, laughing and joking with Jackson, I was reminded that our own journey hadn’t been the easiest, but I liked to think we valued what we had as a result.
He looked up and caught me staring. “I love you,” he mouthed to me.
“Always,” I replied.
Chapter Eight
A few weeks later, we were in our private jet on our way to Wilmington, Delaware. I’d felt off the entire week before. The day we left, I knew I’d been a bit of a brat. Probably because of the week ahead of us. I wanted to try wearing Nathaniel’s collar for this extended period of time, but I was apprehensive as well. Plus, we’d be leaving the kids for longer than we ever had before.
I drummed my fingers in a disjointed staccato on the armrest. My legs were crossed and I swung my foot in time with the tap-tap-tap of my nails. Nathaniel reached out and put his hand over mine.
“Stop, please,” he said.
I stopped my fingers, but my leg kept swinging. “I don’t know why we’re taking the jet. Wilmington isn’t that far away—we could have driven.”
He raised an eyebrow. “We’re taking the jet because I want to.”
I snapped my hand out from under his and buckled my seat belt. It was a petty thing to do, but I couldn’t help it.
“It’s not going to be easy,” he said. “We’ve never played this long before and that alone will stretch us. But I want you to know, I do plan to push you as well. It’s okay to be anxious.”
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the seat. “I’ll be fine. It’s not like I’ve never been anxious before. I’ll work through it.”
But I knew it was more than anxiety; I just didn’t say that to Nathaniel. But it was also him. He was different lately and it confused me as much as it turned me on. I couldn’t give specific examples, but it was there and it made me uneasy.
“Just as well you get the attitude and snark out of the way before I collar you,” he said. “Because I’m not going to put up with it once I do.”
I turned my head to look at him. He was leaning back in his seat and though his body was relaxed, I sensed an underlying tension in him.
“Don’t even think about arguing,” he spoke before I could utter any disagreement. “You’ve been goading me for the last few days. I’ve already decided you’ll be on the floor the first night. Keep it up and you won’t sleep in my bed all week.”
My mouth fell open. “You can’t punish me for what I do when I’m not wearing your collar.”