With each passing minute, I fell more for this man, knowing it could never lead to anything. He was nothing like I’d first assumed. He was going to be a good friend. That much I knew. I’d do anything for him after today.
He spent time with me and my sister, and then sat beside me while the nurse came in to check her vitals.
When visiting hours were up, I kissed Heidi’s forehead and told her I loved her. She told me she loved me too, and that she was going to listen for Momma’s singing tonight. Then she told Jasper to come see her again.
I didn’t know if he would but I knew she’d remember him after this day. And so would the nurses. On our way out, every eye followed him and I was brought back to the reality that he would never belong to me. He had been perfect with Heidi. And I loved him—I knew that now. It was impossible not to.
But he was my boss and would be until my job was done. Then I’d move on in life. The idea made me sad.
Jasper
THE QUIET, EARLY MORNING WAS peaceful. I stood with a cup of coffee I had made for myself and watched the pool ripple with the breeze. It was skimmed and clean right now. That would end though. The party would start in the late afternoon and would last most of the night. Girls would be topless, drinks would be in abundance, and the people I called my friends would surround me.
The parties helped me get by. To forget the bad shit. To remember that this was my life. The one I had been born into. The one my father had left for me. But he had messed up the plans. I had never expected to take over Van Allen Industries this soon. I had plans to travel and enjoy life after graduation, not deal with employees and my mother. Coming back here had been the last thing I had wanted to do.
Now, I was here and I was doing exactly what I’d planned when I’d faced the fact I had to return. If I didn’t, my mother would ruin me. Nothing had been the way I thought it would be. Stone had agreed to stay to be my support system. He had his own shit to handle, but he knew I needed help facing Portia and this company. He was levelheaded where I . . . wasn’t. I was the dreamer. The one who lost sight of goals to chase new ones.
Glancing back at the house, I wondered if Beulah was awake yet. Just thinking about her made me smile. That wasn’t okay and I knew it. She was smart and as I was learning, pretty savvy. She had more shit to deal with than I did. I still couldn’t figure out why my mother had helped her and Heidi, but I was glad she had. Beulah had become my reason to smile when I got up every morning. That was fucked up and I knew it.
She made my mornings so much better. The past couple of days she’d eaten breakfast with me. We had talked. My going to see Heidi had thawed her where I was concerned and I got to see the real Beulah. She laughed loudly at my jokes. She blushed if I ever complimented her, and now she was relaxed around me.
The problem with all that was I wanted to grab her and kiss her. Touch her. See if she was as sweet tasting as she’d seemed. Damn sweet little thing was messing with my head. I didn’t do relationships of any kind. Ever. And Beulah didn’t do quick, no strings attached fucks. I knew that without asking. She was the kind of girl I never messed with. And still, she’d made her way into my thoughts. She’d become my reason for smiling. And I was fighting it every step of the way.
This party was mostly due to my need to fight this attraction. To keep her at arm’s length. Because she was getting closer every day, and I was letting it happen. I was bringing her coffee at work just to sit and talk to her. I was canceling meetings just for an excuse to eat lunch with her. And I’d taken all those damn files and dumped them on the floor in a huge clusterfuck just to have a reason to give her the money she needed to take care of Heidi. I knew her pride wasn’t going to let me pay her what Portia had been paying her after I overreacted and behaved like a dick.
I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. I was sinking and I had to claw my way out. Tonight, I’d enjoy naked women who plastered themselves to me. I’d probably sleep with a couple at the same time. I would do whatever I needed to get that sweet fucking face out of my head. And God, her smell. I had to forget how good she smelled. Like motherfucking sunshine and honey. Jesus, that was getting to me too.
“Good morning,” her voice was soft and almost musical as it floated through the morning breeze. I turned to see her standing just outside the door. A cup of coffee in her hands. For me. “I’m sorry you had to make your own cup.”
“I was up earlier than normal. I can manage. You drink that one.”
She took a sip then gave me that smile that did things to my chest and my fucking dick. When she stepped back to walk inside, the smart thing to do would have been to just let her go. But I didn’t do that.
“Come have coffee with me. It’s early. Portia is gone. No need for you to start working yet.”
That smile beamed brighter. If Stone came out here, he was going to be a bastard to both of us. And he should be. I had asked him to keep me in check with her. He had no problem ignoring women. When he wanted one, he took her. When he was done, he walked away. The dude was coldhearted and brutal. He was disgusted with my weakness where Beulah was concerned. He had also sensed it from day one. He’d warned me to keep a distance. I’d tried, but the more I’d tried, the more I wanted to know her.
“Are you enjoying the view before all your friends arrive?” she asked me.
I nodded. “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”
“Then why have the party? Is it because Stone wants it? “
Stone hated these parties. He wasn’t one to be around crowds. He also knew why I needed them. He was behind anything that would keep me at a distance from Beulah.
“I like them. I drink, relax, and enjoy the company.”
She didn’t respond to that. This would be a good time to start talking about what all she needed to do tonight. What I expected of her. What she needed to be prepared for. That would put her back on her side of the line I had eased her over. The invisible line that was keeping her from being in my arms right now. The line where I remembered she was a girl who was working to take care of her sister and go to nursing school. Not end up naked in my bed then feeling awkward around me until I have to let her go.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. She needed me. I wasn’t going to let my desire for her screw things up. She needed the money, and after witnessing her with her sister I knew I’d do whatever was necessary to protect her. Which meant I wasn’t going to touch her.
“Will the caterers be the same?” she asked and I saw her expression was serious. She was already working. Figuring out tonight before I could even start telling her what to do. She was the best kind of employee.
“Yes. Did you like them?” I don’t know why I asked her that. Did it matter?
She nodded. “Oh, yes. They’re excellent. I just wanted to know what to expect.”
“Expect the same as last time. Pretty much the same crowd. You handled yourself well then. Just do the same thing.”
She straightened her shoulders and looked determined. The relaxed Beulah who had walked out here to enjoy coffee with me was gone. That was my fault of course. I had steered us in this direction.
“I need to take inventory of the bar—make sure the alcohol order is sufficient. I’ll have breakfast ready in an hour. Is that good? Or do you want it sooner?”
All work. Like she should be. This would be what saved us both.
“That will be fine. And Stone will be with me.”
I wasn’t sure if he would be but I said it anyway as another hurdle to push her back from that line I had been easing her over.
She gave me a tight smile that didn’t meet her eyes and went back inside. Her back was straight and her stride would have been determined but she seemed to be limping slightly. I’d ask about that later. Not right now. She needed some space and so did I, because all I wanted to do was go after her and make her laugh, smell her hair, and feel how her body would mold against mine.
Fuck. I needed that alcohol now.
Beulah
PEOPLE WERE FILLING THE BACK yard before five in the evening. I’d been working with the caterer since two-thirty, preparing the poolside and stocking the bar. The caterer wasn’t ready for the crowd last time. Monique, the owner, said she had things under control for tonight. I was sure Jasper was paying extra for that.