“Ally’s gone to buy a pregnancy test. She’ll be back in ten minutes,” Lexi soothed.
Pregnancy test.
Ten minutes.
In just over ten minutes, I would know the truth.
I nodded numbly and Lexi dropped down before me. “Whatever happens we’ll get through this, Molly, I swear. You’re not alone and Rome loves you more than anything. He’ll support you all the way. Don’t shutdown; trust in the people who love you.”
Romeo.
Romeo, a guy who has more family issues than me. Romeo, who is destined for big things. Romeo, who no doubt will not be happy about a baby.
A baby.
There could be a baby, a tiny defenceless baby, in my stomach.
I felt sick again.
I raced into the bathroom, locking the door, and dry heaves tormented my empty stomach. After they subsided, I dragged myself off the floor to stare at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red from the incessant convulsions and I looked terrible.
I tipped my head back and removed my contacts, slipping on my tortoiseshell Chanel frames and putting my hair in a high messy knot—I looked like Molly, pre-Romeo, pre-sex, pre-possible pregnancy.
My cheeks were pale and sullen and my lips were bleached white with shock. Unable to settle, I drifted to my full-length mirror, lifted my T-shirt, and stared at my stomach as if it were an X-ray revealing the truth of my condition. It was no different from fifteen minutes before.
I turned on the cold-water tap, splashing water on my face until the skin was numb to the touch, and when I opened the door, Ally was sat clutching a plastic pharmacy bag. I held out my hand, but she pulled me to her chest, hugging me hard. “It’ll be okay,” she said in a quiet voice.
I took the bag robotically and walked back into the bathroom, locking the door. It took me twenty minutes before I could bring myself to do the test, and I left the offending white stick on the vanity, walking back into my room to await my judgment.
Cass’s timer on her phone dinged and with every chime, my heart thudded louder in my chest. Supportive hands held on to me and the four of us stared at the vanity and the little white stick that was the source of so much tension.
After five more minutes, Cass cleared her throat. “You want me to look? I can’t sit here looking at the damn thing anymore.”I closed my eyes. In for five, out for five. With a resigned sigh, I nodded and watched as Cass picked up the stick. Her back was to me—there were no telltale signs, no hunching of shoulders, gasps of shock, or sighs of relief.
When she turned, her face was blank. She made eye contact but revealed no result. She slowly crouched before me, taking my hand, and whispered, “You’re pregnant, darlin’. It’s positive.”
Time stopped still, the world stopped turning, and my heart ceased beating.
I stood on shaky legs, having no idea what to do. What do you do when you realise you have a little person growing inside of you? One that was ten years too early? One that was completely unplanned?
I didn’t get too far. My legs gave way as I passed by my sheepskin rug, and the floodgates of anxiety opened. I couldn’t breathe through the crushing waves. Three sets of comforting arms embraced me and whispered soothing words, attempting to calm me down.
“What am I going to do?” I cried into someone’s hair.
Ally stroked my head, her eyes spilling over with tears. “I don’t know, honey.”
My head snapped up. “I’m going to have to get rid of it, and I don’t know if I can do that. Romeo has to play football to get away from his parents. I’m meant to be focusing on becoming a professor. I can’t do that and be a mother.” Pure fear ran down my spine.
“A mother. I can’t be a mother. I never had one. How am I meant to be one when I don’t even know what one is? No one showed me how!”
Cass shushed me. “Molly, calm down. You’re getting too wound up. It’s not good for you and it certainly won’t achieve anything.”
Loud cries ripped free from my chest and I crumpled on the floor, laying my head in Cass’s lap, and that’s when I heard rustling outside and footsteps landing on the balcony.
“Mol? Mol! What’s wrong with her?”
Romeo.
Somebody stood. “Rome, calm down, okay?” It was Ally.
“No! What’s wrong with her? Mol?” Romeo’s voice was urgent. “Is she sick? Why isn’t she answerin’ me? I got your message and came straight over.”
“No. She’s… erm…”
“Was it Shelly? Has that bitch—”