Now I have to wait until she’s ready to see it.

I’m thinking of her as Cline and I grab a booth at McNaught’s on the Square. It’s packed tight with bodies. Three weeks into the first semester, our fellow students are clamoring for any chance to get wasted already. I can’t hear him while he’s screaming at me from across the table, and he’s terrible at forming words, so lip reading is nearly impossible. There’s live music, and we’re right next to the speakers as well as the bar, so I’m nearing deafness within five minutes of being in the building. It’s uncomfortably hot, too, causing every piece of clothing I’m wearing to stick to my body. What was once a light blue shirt now has a dark blue ring around the collar, and I bet good money there’s a nice line down my back, also.

Cline’s wearing black, but it doesn’t hide his problem either. I’m about to tell him we should leave when the girls show up and slide into the booth with us. They’re smart, wearing sundresses, their hair up in a ponytail and bun respectively. September sits next to Cline and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek while Tee smiles next to me and reaches for a menu. Her eyes are bright blue, and her hair is a dirty blonde, the complete opposite of the girl sitting across from her.

I can’t hear for shit, and Tee is saying something, pointing at the menu. I shrug and point at my ears, the universal sign of ‘It’s too loud in here’ and she pushes up so that she can talk loudly enough for me to hear.

“I have to make a call. Will you order me one of these?” She points to the menu, and I note the type of beer she’s chosen. I give her a thumbs’ up and she smiles, making her eyes almost disappear and her freckles fold into the wrinkles around her nose as she pushes out of the seat and into the crowd again. Across from me, September and Cline are deep in conversation. Who am I kidding? They’re trying to lick each other’s faces off. I’ve become so used to it by now it’s starting to disturb me.

There’s a flash of teal just beyond their conjoined heads, and I crane my neck to follow it through the mass of bodies that have accumulated in the small space around us, but it’s gone as soon as it appears. A strange knot forms in my gut, and I move away from the table, scanning above all the heads I can while I push my way to the exit. It’s out on the sidewalk that I see her plain as day.

“Audrey!” I yell, and watch as she slows a bit before resuming her pace like she didn’t hear me. I call her name again and break into a run to catch up with her.

Her cheeks are bright red when I make it to her side and she sighs, slowing down to turn and look at me with exasperation. “Damnit, Elliot. You know I don’t run. It’s one of my biggest weaknesses.”

“Why didn’t you stop? I was calling for you.” I reach out to move her hair from her face and she takes a step back, brushing her cheek against her shoulder quickly.

“I saw you, but you looked busy, so I thought maybe I’d text you later.”

“How long have you been back?” The awkwardness between us is unwarranted. It shouldn’t be like this.

“Since just before school started. My dad sold the house. It was a deal with Miranda for the divorce. Whatever. Anyway, he moved closer to campus, and I got new place, so things have been super busy. Sorry I haven’t called, but it looks like you've been busy, too?” Her head tilts in the direction of the bar, and just beyond the doors I can see Tee making her phone call, leaning against the wall outside, smoking a cigarette. It all clicks into place in that moment when I turn my attention back to Audrey and she focuses her eyes back on mine. Tucking her hair behind her ear she gives a smile. “She looks nice.”

“She is nice.”

“You deserve nice, Elliot.”

I deserve you, is all I think, but the words don’t come out. Instead I say, “You look happy. Are you happy?”

She squares her shoulders and nods, only once. “I have nothing to complain about. They adjusted my meds. Things are good with my dad. I’m going to therapy and working stuff out that I never took seriously before.” She stops then and goes quiet, thoughtful, before she continues. “Thank you, by the way, for that night. For saving my life. Dr. Stark said I should tell all of you that, face to face.” She smiles again. “I would have done it without her telling me to, though. Just so we’re clear.” Her fingers are tapping in rhythms of threes and fours against her thigh as she says this, making my muscles tense.

“I made something for you. You should come by the apartment soon and see it.”




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