He squeezes her shoulder, placing a quick kiss on her head. “I’ll be right back, babe.” She smiles sunnily, turning back to the game, and responds to an insult Paul had just flung out to the television. She is so comfortable, with Paul, with Stewart, and I marvel at her easy fit into the strange dynamic that we make. Paul and Stewart have seamlessly slid back into old roles, their love apparent throughout dinner, jabs and insults exchanged as easily as compliments. I am the one at odds, my stiffness with Stewart causing a hitch in this renovated machine. I hope this conversation helps.
He holds open the door for me and we step outside, my skin standing at attention in the cool fall air. I shiver slightly and his eyes sharpen on the movement, his movement visibly restrained when he starts to move forward and stops. We both laugh awkwardly. “Want to sit on the steps?” he offers.
“That sounds great.”
We sit, his long legs stretching down the steps and he turns, facing me, his eyes close on and moving over my face, as if he is memorizing the features. “I’ve missed you.”
My eyes close, blocking out the view of his concern. I hesitate over the words, and then let them free. “I’ve missed you, too. We had some good times.”
He chuckles. “Yeah. Most of our good times involved very little clothing.”
Color floods my cheeks and a grin breaks out at the truth in his statement. “Yeah.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. After the accident.” His voice is so somber that I look up to find his eyes on me, serious and dark.
I frown, confused. “You had work. You always have work. I understood that—that is how your life is.”
“Was.” He corrects me gently. “I’m trying to be different with Mia. Something Dana said—after the accident—it stuck with me. With her, it’s not the same—I’m putting aside work more, making time for her.” He looks apologetic as he speaks, and I smile at him.
“I’m glad, Stewart. I’m glad you have someone that you care enough about to do that.” I stutter, realizing how the words sounded. “I-I mean—I’m happy for you.”
“I’ll always love you, Madison.” He says quietly, my heart tugging at the words, his eyes on mine. “I love you for mending this family—for letting me see what is possible—for making Paul happy. But the ‘in love’ with you part... I’ve moved on from that. I’m really happy for you. For both of you.”
I blink back the tears that have found their way to my eyes. In a way, it is heartbreaking. I’m looking at the man I always hoped Stewart would become. A man who would spend Thanksgiving with family, who would sit on the couch and not look at his phone. A man who realized what was important, and who had found someone who he loved enough to adjust his life for. Someone who wasn’t me. I’ve never been so happy to be so easily replaced. “Working less, huh?” I choke out a laugh. “That makes me really happy for you, Stewart.
He reaches his arm out, wrapping it around my shoulders and squeezing me to his side. “We’re gonna be okay, right?”
“We better be,” I grin. “We’re gonna be stuck together for a while.“ I push away enough to look into his eyes. “In fact, that was one of the things I wanted to talk to you about.”
He moves a bit on the step so he can face me. “What’s wrong? What is it?”
I hesitate. “Nothing’s wrong. Paul proposed.”
If I have any doubt of Stewart’s sincerity, it disappears when the grin splits his face. A grin. Stewart... doesn’t really grin. Not normally. He scowls, he glints, but grinning... it is such an odd look that I stare at him in surprise. He grabs my hand, his smile dropping when he sees the bare skin. “You said no?”
I shake my head with a laugh. “No, I accepted. I just didn’t want to show up wearing a ring...without talking to you about it.”
He sweeps me into a hug, hugging me tightly, so tightly I squeak.
“You’re happy?” I laugh, pushing out of the hug.
“You’ll be my sister now, Madison. As totally creepy as that is, seeing as I still got a raging hard on when you walked in the house—”
“Shut up,” I choke out, blushing, my own inappropriate thoughts coming to mind.
“Seriously,” he says, grabbing my hand. “You’ll always be in my life now. That couldn’t make me happier. And Paul—he loves you so much. More than I ever did. He deserves you, Madd.”
“Madd? You’ve never called me that before.” I wrinkle my nose at him.
He shrugs. “Things are different now.”
“So...we have your blessing?”
He wraps an arm around my neck, pulling, and placing a quick kiss on my forehead. “More than that, babe. More than that. You have my heart. Both of you.” He releases me and stands, holding out a hand and helping me up.
“Did he get you a good ring?” he asks gruffly.
I nod with a smile. “He did good. You’d approve.” And he had done well. It wasn’t a Stewart ring, picked out by his assistant, wasn’t a huge rock that shouted my status while begging me to be mugged. But for Paul and me, it was perfect. A blue sapphire, the color of the ocean after a storm, tiny diamonds making up the band, leading delicately up to and framing the stone.
Paul designed it, agonized over it, and his eyes were glued to my face when he presented it, early one morning, when I was still half asleep, his proposal coming after coffee, my body wrapped in a big blanket, the ocean air blowing through the open window. He handed me coffee, and I waited for him to join me, to sit behind me and wrap his arms around me, pull me back against his chest. It was how we often spent our mornings, the lazy ones that didn’t involve early morning sex or surfing. Instead he dropped to one knee, his eyes tight to mine, his hands fumbling as he opened the box and extended it out. He had choked out the question, his voice tight, his hands shaking, his eyes glued to mine. And I sat there, for one shocked moment, before my mind responded and I launched myself into his arms, covering him with kisses and whispering the word yes.
He had been worried, nervous. Scared for whatever reason that I would say no. But he had nothing to worry about. I’ve always been his. I’ve loved him since the moment I saw his playful grin in a line at Santa Monica pier, his eyes studying me as I took the place next to him. And finally, with my relationship status one devastating blue-eyed brother less, we had nothing holding us back.