I went into the field house through the stables and paused in the hall between buildings, breathing deeply of horse and hay and trying to keep my emotions calm.
I’m just going to be honest. It’ll hurt his feelings more if I stretch this out and avoid him. Heath would understand.
I snorted a laugh at myself. No, Heath would not understand. Heath would tell me, “We belong together, babe!” and ignore the fact that I was breaking up with him. Again.
Kalona was standing by himself in the hallway outside the entrance to the basement.
“Zoey, you’re up late,” he said as he fisted his hand over his heart and gave me a little bow.
I hadn’t seen him since he’d cut Dallas’s head off and flown away with two fledglings struggling under his arms. He didn’t look any different. I suppose I shouldn’t expect him to. Still, I couldn’t help being morbidly curious. “Hi,” I said. “So, how’d things go with the two fledglings?”
“As they were meant to go.”
“Are they, you know, dead?”
Kalona shrugged, causing his massive wings to rustle. “I left them in the middle of the Tall Grass Prairie. With the storms covering the sun they might last the day, but they certainly will not last another.”
“Are you going to take care of their bodies?”
He shook his head. “Coyotes will do that job for me.”
“That’s really cold,” I said.
“Justice often seems cold. That is not a trait Thanatos and I originated. Judging, condemning, and carrying out justice is not pleasant. Is it not this country whose symbol for justice is a blind maiden holding scales of judgment?”
“Uh, I don’t think that’s because she’s cold. I think that’s because justice shouldn’t be based on the way a person looks or who he or she is—it should be based on the facts.”
“I do not understand the distinction you are making.”
“Nevermind.” I gave up. “I’m looking for Aurox. Have you seen him?”
“It was his turn to patrol the school perimeter. If you go out the front entrance to the field house, he should be circling back around shortly.”
“Okay, great. Uh, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention to anyone that I was looking for—”
Kalona held up a hand, cutting me off. “I will not tell tales to your Warrior.”
I thought about correcting him and saying that wasn’t it at all, that I just didn’t want fledglings to be gossiping about Aurox and me, but my mouth wouldn’t form the lie, so I sighed and said, “Yeah, thanks.” And then I scurried away.
No one was out in the front side of the school, either, and I found a bench not far from the field house door. While I sat and waited for Aurox, I watched the thunderclouds get closer and thought about what Kalona had said.
Maybe he was right. Judging others wasn’t pleasant. There was a time when I would have also thought judging others was wrong, but I’d agreed with Thanatos in her condemnation. I suppose I even agreed with her penalty. So, did that make me a hypocrite when, afterward, I felt all squeamish and disgusted? Or did that make me humane? Or did it make me too damn dense to ever be a decent High Priestess?
“Zoey? Is everything okay?”
I hadn’t heard Aurox approach, so it was a shock to look from the thunderclouds to his moonbeam eyes. I blinked and shook myself, trying to refocus and at least do this one thing right.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I just needed to talk to you. Is now a good time?”
“Of course.” He gestured toward the bench beside me and nodded, “Oh, yeah, go ahead and sit down.”
He sat and I tried not to fidget or pick at my fingernail polish.
“It looks like it’s going to rain,” I said. “And I think I just heard thunder off in the distance.”
“The scent of lightning is in the air,” he agreed.
I relaxed a little. That was definitely not something Heath would have said. “I never thought about lightning smelling like anything, but you’re probably right. Thunder and lightning go together.”
“Zo, what’s up?”
My eyes went to his. Yep. Heath was definitely in there. “I can’t drink your blood again.”
“But you want to,” he said.
“Aurox, no one gets everything they want.”
“But this isn’t everything, it’s just a small part of everything.”
“If I really drank your blood, we’d make love. We’d probably Imprint. That wouldn’t be a small thing to me or you or Stark.”
“It’s Stark, then. He’s the reason why you won’t be with me,” Aurox said.
“No. It’s me. I can’t be with two guys at the same time.”
“And you will not choose me over Stark because I am not Heath.”
“I won’t choose you over Stark because I’m already committed to Stark,” I said firmly.
“It’s because I’m not good enough for you—because of how I was made—what I can be.”
I put my hand over his. “No, Aurox. Please don’t think that. You’re not to blame for any of that, and I don’t think about that when I’m with you.”
“What do you think about?”
I smiled, even though I felt sad, and continued to tell him the truth. “I think about how glad I am that you’re here. I also think you and Heath make a really good team.”
“You know we love you,” he said.
“I know.” I spoke softly, and pulled my hand from his. “I’m sorry.”
“Where do we go from here?”
“I want to be friends,” I said.
“Friends.” The word sounded so flat when he repeated it.
“Yeah, and Stark’s not going to act crazy around you anymore,” I said.
“Zo, that’s because he doesn’t have any reason to.” Aurox leaned over, kissed my cheek, and then sounding completely defeated, said, “Would you let Kalona know I am going to check the perimeter again?”
“Yeah, sure…” I said to his back as he sprinted away toward the school’s stone wall.
I stood, feeling heavy and super, super tired. Well I told him the truth, but it definitely sucked. Trying not to think about anything but sleep, because the last thing I needed was for Stark to be awake and asking where I’d been and what had made me feel so crappy. I retraced my way into the field house and down the hallway that led to the entrance of the basement. Kalona wasn’t standing there. I sighed and stuck my head into the field house. He wasn’t there, either. Guessing that he was in the basement doing a quick check on the sleeping kids, I padded back toward the stairway.
“Yes, I’ve been watching Zoey like I said I would.”
At first when I heard my name I stopped because I was surprised. The voice drifted from the stable area, coming from the half-opened door that separated the hallway between the field house and the barn.
“And? For shit’s sake, do I have to ask you everything?”
Then I realized who was talking about me, and I crept closer, listening in disbelief.
“And her colors got super crazy during the funeral. But I think I know why, and it doesn’t have anything to do with her losing control of her temper or her powers.”
“Shaylin, you’re making my ass hurt. Just tell me what you saw.”
There was a long pause. I heard Shaylin blow out a long breath and then my insides went cold as the Prophetess told Aphrodite, “I saw her looking at Aurox. A lot. Her colors were crazy. That made me think—so when she and Aurox went to the cafeteria together after the circle casting, I followed them.”
“Shit, Shaylin! You’re not a Prophetess, you’re a super spy!” Aphrodite said, laughing. “Tell me that Z and Bull Boy did the nasty.”
I bit my lip to keep from screaming.
“Almost. The two of them are definitely all into each other. She sucked blood from his finger.”
“That’s practically doing it for Zoey, and oh crap. That’s too fucking close to what I saw. Then, let me guess, her colors went crazy? All confused and frustrated and pissed?”
“Totally. Especially after she—”
I’d heard enough.
“Shut up!” I yelled. My chest was burning as hot as my face as I slapped my hand against the door, making it fly open and smack against the wall.
“Uh-oh,” Aphrodite said.
“Zoey! This isn’t what you think!” Shaylin said, backing away from me as I came into the room.
“Really? How is this not what I think it is when I hear you telling Aphrodite that you’ve been spying on me!” I didn’t think. I reacted. Fisting my hand around the burning Seer Stone, I lifted my other hand and thought about how badly I wanted to knock Shaylin on her butt.
A ball of blue fire burst from my hand, knocking Shaylin off her feet. She landed on her back, out of breath, gasping and crying.
I didn’t care about her bawling. It felt good to put her on her butt. Shaylin deserved it.