I looked at him, confused. “What are you trying to say?”
“I think of her like a sister - a sometimes annoying sister. I’m concerned she might say something tonight that’s out of line. And I just wanted you to know - from me - that there’s nothing there.”
“Okay. So if she says something to me I should just ignore her?”
“Just take it with a grain of salt. She might be cool, but I’m thinking she’s going to say something stupid. If she says anything to you, just tell me, okay?” he said as he rinsed his face under the water.
“Okay, I will. Are you finished or do you need more time in here?” I was ready to turn the water off. I looked at him expecting an answer to my question but instead fear struck me in the chest; his face was still troubled.
“There’s something else you need to know,” he continued. I felt the blood rush from my heart as he took a hold of my hands.
“Francesca and I…” He looked down with guilt. The fear from not knowing what his confession would be knocked me for a loop. He looked me directly in the eyes when he spoke again. “It only happened once, and it was over a year ago.”
I reached behind my back and turned the water off. I had to get a bearing on the admission he just made to me. I pushed the curtain open and was just about to step out of the tub when he gently grabbed my arm.
“Taryn, look at me. I swear it was only once… and after it happened I realized it was a big mistake. I want you to know that I don’t have any feelings for her.” His expression was sincere.
“Does she have feelings for you?” I asked. Disappointment coated my whisper.
“I don’t know. Sometimes she says things… I know I should have never crossed that line with her.” His hand lifted my chin so I’d look him in the eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t care if she has feelings for me or not because I don’t feel the same way. I never did. I never will.”
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel tightly around my body. I hoped the constriction of the towel could somehow keep my heart from cracking.
Ryan quickly wrapped a towel around his waist then grabbed my wrist, forcing me to look at him again.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you like this, but I wanted you to know – directly from me – what the truth is. I’m telling you all of this because I don’t want any secrets between us. She’s coming here tonight too and I don’t want our relationship to get...” He looked away to choose his words before looking back into my eyes.
“Taryn, I’m…” he paused to breathe out a deep sigh. “I only want you - just you. But I can’t change the mistakes that I’ve made.”
I had to make an instant decision. I could let the jealousy consume me and be angry or I could thank my lucky stars that the man standing in front of me cared enough about me to tell me the truth.
I slowly reached my hand up to place it on his cheek. The water from his hair was dripping down his face. My heart skipped a beat from just touching him and I realized that my feelings for him were way too powerful to let his past change that. For the first time in my life the man who was holding my heart in his hand was honest with me. It took a lot of courage for him to tell me what he was feeling.
“Thank you for being honest and for telling me.” I softly smiled. Relief coursed into my heart when he took my hand in his and pressed my palm to his lips.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked carefully.
“No, I’m not mad. I’m not happy with the news, but we both have pasts. It’s part of who we are. We’ve both made mistakes.”
He took my face in his hands, staring into my eyes; his thumbs gently stroked my cheeks before he leaned in to softly kiss my lips.
I wrapped my hands around his ribs as he kissed me passionately. There were no cameras, no directors, no witnesses - just Ryan and I and our raw, unscripted emotions.
“We better get ready. We’re going to have guests soon,” I reminded him.
I started to comb my wet hair while doing everything possible to banish the visions of him and Francesca together.
As long as he was an actor, women would be coming at him from all angles and directions. But he was with me now, by his choice, and the feelings that he shared were real and as obvious as black and white, with no shades of gray.
Ryan slipped a new black T-shirt over his head; his jeans were hanging on his hips and the elastic waistband of his briefs was showing as he strung his leather belt through the loops.
I smiled, thinking that it took me three showers to get to this point of the day. My hair and makeup were finally done.
Oh my God he is hot! I really just want to lay naked in bed with him all day.
“What?” he asked softly, noting my stare.
My eyes were still tracing the faint view of his exposed skin on his stomach.
“Tell me what you’re thinking!” he urged. I thought about it for a moment, then decided to be blatantly honest.
“I was just thinking about tearing your clothes off and crawling back under the covers.”
He charged over to where I stood and wrapped his arms around me, lifting me off the floor. His aggressive approach made me laugh.
“I could rip your clothes off too, but actually you are looking so incredibly sexy dressed.” His eyes glanced down at my body.
I was in my favorite True Religion Jeans – the ones that had cute leather lacing up the front, with a black Tee and my black heeled boots.
“I could go back to sleep though. You wore me out!” he snickered. “We’ll just have to kick everyone out early.”
I slipped my fingers into his hair and kissed him, appreciating that for this moment in time, he was mine… all mine.
It was almost three thirty in the afternoon when Pete called to let me know that he and Tammy were out in the alley, getting ready to unload the food.
“Here Taryn, take this box,” Pete instructed. The back of Tammy’s van was loaded.
“Something smells fantastic!” Ryan said, taking the box from my hands. “Where do you want me to put this?”
“Just put everything on the counters for now. We need to set up tables,” I replied. I couldn’t help but smirk at Ryan. He was smiling at me too.
Ryan helped Pete set up a table for the food and then assisted in transferring all the food from the kitchen to the bar. It was apparent by the volume and variety of delectables that we were going to eat like kings and queens today.