Ryan said he had just arrived in L.A. and was going through final fittings for his wardrobe for Slipknot. He had photo shoots and interviews, and the press tour for the premier of Reparation was also just a few days away. Rehearsals and filming in Vancouver would start immediately after that.
He was also scheduled to start training since his character was supposed to be a rock climber.
I would have flown around the world ten times if I knew I’d end up in his arms at the end, but he didn’t want me to.
“My schedule is just crazy right now. I don't know when I’ll be able to see you even if you did fly out,” he had said, continuing his reasons why he didn’t want me to get on a plane. “Don't get me wrong, I want to see you, it’s just… bad timing.”
Bad timing… this from the man who used to sneak off set to call and text me countless times a day now all of a sudden didn’t have time for me.
How quickly things change.
I almost called him back to ask if he still wanted me… if he could still love me like he once did… but I couldn’t do it. I was afraid if I pushed, his answer would be “no.”
I remembered the solemn vow I made to him several months ago when we were on my rooftop - I would never break up with him - ever. I intended to keep that vow. If our relationship was over, he’d have to be the one to say the words out loud.
The bar was fairly crowded for a Saturday night. I went through the motions, mixing drinks and waiting on customers, but inside I was numb, lifeless.
I dried my wet hands on my bar towel, taking a moment to adjust the garnet ring I still wore on my right hand - like it was a magic link to the only man I had ever truly loved. I had been through so much in the six months since Ryan and I started dating, it was a miracle that I survived. But it didn’t matter. Right now I would have walked through hot coals and blistering fire to be with him again.
“There’s something to make any girl smile!” Marie said loudly.
I felt my dead heart thump in my chest. I quickly looked in her direction, aching for the one face that would bring the sunshine back into my world.
To my dismay, Phil the Fireman was leaning on the bar. He was squeezed in between two customers who were trying to have a conversation around him. My silly hopes were for naught. I could feel that the final ending, that expiration date I had feared so tremendously, was a mere moment away.
“Hi Taryn!” Phil greeted me. His broad smile wavered when he noticed I didn’t return his enthusiasm.
“Hi Phil,” I said glumly. I tried to make myself smile. I felt like such a hypocrite.
“Taryn, I need a new bottle of, um, Jack,” Cory asked, snapping his fingers impatiently at me. “Fast.”
I could have sworn that I put a new bottle out earlier, but then again I hadn’t been paying much attention to details nor did I care to question it.
I was unlocking the back bar lower cabinet to get a new bottle for him when Marie backed up and stood at my side.
“Taryn, there’s someone here to see you,” she said awkwardly.
My pulse quickened and I felt flush. I jumped up from my crouched position, whipping my head around to see.
“Hi Taryn!”
I instantly recognized the voice, but I was completely surprised to see the faces.
“Ellen? Bill? Oh my God! What are you guys doing here?” I leaned up over the bar. “Wait, let me come around.”
I hugged and kissed them both.
“We were on our way to um…” Ellen looked at Bill, apparently forgetting her words.
“Martha’s Vineyard,” Bill reminded her.
“Yes, Martha’s Vineyard! We thought we’d stop by to see you first,” Ellen said.
Marie rushed out from behind the bar. “Taryn, why don’t you take them into the kitchen to talk? It’s really loud out here. Cory and I can cover the bar for a while.” Marie tugged my arm.
“Yes, yes, please let’s.” Bill placed a hand on my back and quickly guided me through the crowd towards the kitchen door. I could see him cringing from the volume of the music.
“I’m so glad you stopped here first! So you’re going to Martha’s Vineyard? Oh, you’ll have such a nice time there!” I gushed, thrilled to see them.
It was the first time I smiled in days. “How long are you staying there?”
“Where?” Bill asked. He looked confused.
“On Martha’s Vineyard?” I continued.
Bill and Ellen were looking at each other, unsure of who was going to answer.
“Just a few days, Honey. Just a few days,” Ellen stated quickly.
Bill looked at his watch. He was acting a bit strange, like he was in a hurry to go somewhere.
“How long are you staying in Seaport? You know you are welcome to stay here. I hope you didn’t get a hotel room.” I didn’t know why I was rambling. Bill’s demeanor was making me edgy. It appeared that they weren’t here for a social visit.
“We don’t want to intrude,” Ellen quickly replied. “We have a hotel room for tonight and then we, um, have much to do tomorrow.”
“Oh, okay. Well, did you have dinner? We can go out to eat if you’re hungry or I can make something for you to eat upstairs,” I offered.
Why do they look nervous? They keep looking at each other. This is getting weird. I noticed the band stopped playing, so it wasn’t quite as loud anymore, but the volume of people talking out in the pub seemed to get louder.
“No, we ate before we came here,” Bill somberly replied.
I felt my breath catch. My hand clenched my throat.
“What’s wrong? I feel like you’re going to tell me something bad.” My eyes quickly toggled, assessing.
“He’s met someone else, hasn’t he?” I scanned their faces - waiting… trying to judge their reaction to my question. Ellen seemed startled.
“I knew it. He changed his mind. He doesn’t think I can trust him anymore so he’s moving on.” Pain, agony, all too familiar, seeped back into my soul. It only took him one week to finally decide he had enough of me.
My eyes became moist and I felt the scorching burn roll up into my throat. Not only did I have to give up the only man I ever truly loved, I would also be losing two wonderful parents on top of it. I bit my teeth into my upper lip, trying to hold back a sob.
“Did he send you for his things?” I whispered, assuming his parents were here to pack his stuff up. Tears cracked and bled from my eyes from thinking about him moving out of the apartment. “He doesn’t even want to talk to me anymore?”