After the words flew out of my mouth I wished I could have rephrased them. I stared down at the ground with embarrassment. This is why I shouldn’t drink beer – you get too honest with people, you idiot. He probably thinks you’re some basket case that no man wants.
But I rationalized that he had already been accosted once today; I’m sure a bar fight would be the last thing he needed to deal with.
“You’re not dating anyone?” He sounded sort of shocked.
Looking him in the eyes was like taking a shot of truth serum.
“No, no one,” I answered honestly.
My mind flashed back to the last man I dated. How Thomas (‘The Asshole’ as he was referred to now) asked me to marry him, how he promised to love me forever, and how I gave the ring back after I found out that he had an insatiable appetite for random sex with strangers. He was the last entry on a short list of guys who smashed my heart into pieces.
“Hmm, that’s good to know.” Ryan nodded while leaning over to take his next shot on the pool table. “So why is that?”
“I suppose the right man hasn’t walked through my door yet,” I answered casually, trying to redeem myself.
In reality, men walked in and out of my door every day, but I’d been numb for so long I didn’t even care to notice them. My need for selfpreservation was stronger.
His eyes locked on mine as he purposely missed the last shot of the game.
“Guess I get all the bragging rights then,” I whispered after I sunk the last ball on the table. He congratulated me with another soft high-five.
I noticed him glance at his watch as he finished his drink. I assumed he was thinking about leaving so I peeked behind the window blind slightly to see if there were still people loitering on the sidewalk.
“Is the coast clear?” he asked, even though he knew my answer.
“No. There’s still a crowd out there. I see guys with cameras and a lot of women.”
“This is ridiculous,” he sighed and rubbed his eyes with his fingers.
“What’s worse, the paparazzi or the T-shirt ripping psychos?”
“They’re about even,” Ryan muttered. “Most of the fans are great, but some of them go to scary extremes – like today. And the paparazzi, well, they’re relentless.” His voice sounded so defeated.
“You really have no freedom or privacy, do you?” I said matter-of-factly as I glanced back at him.
“No,” he whispered. “Not anymore.”
He looked completely forlorn. I felt so bad for him. How someone could have everything and at the same time, have nothing at all. I had to fight back the urge to go over to him and wrap him in a big hug. I didn’t know what else to say, besides, “I’m sorry.”
He gave me a brief smile, but the anguish on his face was so plain to see.
“They aren’t going to leave until they’re sure you’re not in here, are they?” I didn’t want to say this out loud but it was a question that had to be asked.
“No.” His eyes shot up to lock on mine.
“Well, you can’t just walk out into that! No way!” I envisioned him leaving through the front door and getting attacked again by the throng of screaming women.
“What choice do I have?” he sighed. “Even if I manage to get to the street...” his voice trailed in defeat.
My mind was plotting – how to gain him safe passage out of here. The thought of him getting accosted by that horde out there pissed me off.
“Let me go check the back door, see if the way is clear. Stay here, okay?”
Ryan didn’t reply; the gleam of hope in his eyes was confirmation enough that he was willing to accept my help.
I peeked out the back door; the alley was empty. Where the heck would he go from here though? My eyes searched the alley to be sure that there was no danger and then I had a brilliant idea.
“Can someone pick you up?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He nodded assuredly.
I reached for my cell phone.
“Maggie? Hi, it’s Taryn. I need to ask you a favor. Well, you see, I have a very special guest inside my pub and he is in need of a safe exit. I mean, he’s very well-known and, um, there are cameras and crazy women outside my bar. Yes, he’s one of the boys from the movie.”
My eyes shot up to him and I gave him my best crooked sorry-smile. “Can I send him through your shop… through your back door? No, he just needs to get to the street - safely. Okay, thanks Maggie. You’re the best!
“Tell your driver to park directly in front of Maggie’s Bakery on 5 th Street, between Elm and Mulberry Streets, and to call you when he is in position.” Why did I all of a sudden feel like I was masterminding some great caper in a really bad thriller?
“You’ll be safe. Maggie is a nice, older lady. She won’t even know who you are. She’ll leave you alone.”
I looked up to see him beaming at me – like I was a lifesaver.
“The things we take for granted,” he muttered.
“Hmm? What do you mean?” I wished he would explain.
“Nothing,” he whispered, shaking his head as a twinge of a smile touched his lips. He pulled his phone from his pocket to call his driver.
Ten minutes later he said his goodbyes.
“Thank you, Taryn, for everything. I’m very sorry for putting you through this today.”
“It’s okay, Ryan. You don’t need to apologize. It was nice to meet you.”
“It was very nice to meet you, too. Huh, I can’t remember the last time I felt this relaxed. It was nice feeling normal for once, even if it was only for a couple of hours. I had a really great time!”
“I’m glad to hear that. I had a really great time too.”
“Taryn, I hope I can trust you to keep our time together just between us – our secret.” His eyes were pleading, and I knew that no one could ever be told about our encounter.
“Don’t worry Ryan,” I assured him. I purposely looked him directly in the eyes so he’d know I was telling the truth. “Please know that you can trust me. It’s as much my secret as it is yours. I swear I will never say a word about it to anyone. Never - I promise.”
He held his hand out to shake mine, so I reflexively responded. I was all prepared for a friendly handshake, but instead he twisted my hand in his and ever so gently he kissed the back of my hand.
“See you,” he said softly, still holding my fingers in his hand.
I felt my heart skip another beat as it flopped in my chest.