“I have a boyfriend!” she said in a squeal. “Pete asked me out, and I said yes! Thank you for your advice!” She wrapped her arms around Sara’s waist and hugged her tight.
A warm—dare-she-think-maternal—feeling filled her at the young girl’s gratitude and easy hug. “I’m happy I could help,” she said, her voice thick.
The chirping of a cell phone interrupted them. “It’s him!” Toni said. “Gotta go somewhere private and take it.” She bounced out of the room, leaving Sara a little overwhelmed, in a good way. “What does asking someone out mean these days?” Sara asked Angel.
“From what I hear, it means they’re going steady, rarely talk in person, text on the phone, and break up within a week or so.” Angel shook her head, laughing.
Sara chuckled. “Glad I don’t have to deal with a teenage girl.” Realizing what she’d just said, Sara’s hands flew to her mouth, horrified. “I’m sorry. I mean— You can’t— I didn’t mean—”
“Relax, I know you didn’t! I told you, I’ve moved on and accepted,” Angel reassured her.
Sara wasn’t convinced, but she wanted to put her foot-in-mouth moment behind her. “Looks like you two are getting along,” she said, changing the subject.
Angel nodded. “I’m cautiously optimistic.”
“And I’m happy for you!”
“Thanks.” Angel glanced around to make sure they were alone. “He agreed to go for marriage counseling.”
Sara nodded. “I think that shows you how much he wants to make things work. I hope that means you’ll meet him halfway?”
Angel shrugged. “We both agreed to try. I’ll call tomorrow for an appointment, and then we’ll see. So, what’s going on with you?” she asked, deliberately changing the subject again. “The fire department investigators told me they have no leads. Did you find out anything more?” Angel’s big eyes were filled with concern.
“Nothing new. My captain hasn’t heard anything, either, so for now I just have to be cautious.”
“Maybe it was just a random act, kids playing with fire. Stupid and dangerous, but random.”
“Maybe,” Sara hedged. It was better for Angel to believe her own words.
“So…where do things stand with the two of you?” Angel tipped her head toward Rafe, who was sitting beside his mother, talking.
As if he realized they were talking about him, he glanced over and treated Sara to a sexy wink before turning his attention back to his mother.
She swallowed hard. “We’re fine.” If she considered the wall between them fine.
Except this time the wall hadn’t come from Rafe; it came from Sara herself, who was confused as to why getting what she wanted didn’t feel as good as it should.
“Vague and unacceptable.” Angel grinned. “Spill.”
Sara drew a deep breath. “The truth is, I don’t do relationships. I never have. I don’t believe in happily ever after without a whole lot of work and aggravation, and when you factor in the stress of us both being cops…” She trailed off. “Look, the majority of relationships don’t work. My entire family tree is a prime example. Rafe and I don’t see life the same way. We don’t want the same things.”
“What is it you want?” Angel asked without judgment, and Sara was grateful for her understanding. Obviously, Angel knew firsthand that the work-and-aggravation part were true in an ordinary marriage.
“You know, I never really gave it much thought except to know I always wanted to be a cop. It’s in my genes. But my bad knee might make the one thing I always took for granted impossible.”
“Which means you may have to reevaluate your future.” A sympathetic expression settled over Angel’s face. “I know I did when I lost the baby.” She lowered her voice. “Actually, I’ve had two miscarriages, but the family only knows about the one. The first one happened so early, we hadn’t even told them I was pregnant yet.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks. But my point is that I always thought I’d be a mom. I can imagine how that sounds to you, but that was my dream. And then one day it was gone. The doctor said I probably couldn’t carry to term, and suddenly my future looked empty. Sound familiar?” she asked.
Suddenly the notion of not being able to return to active duty seemed trivial compared to the end of Angel’s dream.
Sara glanced down at her feet, embarrassed. “You must think I’m ridiculous. Here I am mourning the potential loss of a job, when you can’t have children.” Sara pressed her hands to her burning cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t you dare be sorry!” Angel said, clearly affronted. “Nobody’s dreams are any more or less important than anyone else’s. I’m just trying to tell you that when things look their darkest, you can find opportunity and even end up happy again.”
“Thank you,” Sara said, touched that Angel would dig into her deepest pain to help her. “You and I talked just now, right? So maybe you could do the same with Nick?” she asked tentatively.
“It’s different talking to someone who doesn’t share the grief.” Angel cleared her throat, obviously emotional.
“Say no more. I understand.” Sara quickly let the other woman off the hook.
Angel reached out her hand. “I don’t know about you, but I need a good hug.”
Sara smiled and pulled the other woman into a sisterly embrace.
To her surprise, the simple human connection made her feel better.
A LITTLE WHILE LATER, Sara and Angel were helping Rafe’s mother clean up in the kitchen when Rafe poked his head into the room.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked.
Sara glanced at Mariana, not wanting to leave her alone to dry the pots and pans.
“Go,” the other woman said. “I’ll finish up in here.” She waved Sara away. “You, too, Angel. Go find Nick,” she said pointedly.
Angel rolled her eyes, but did as her mother-in-law suggested.
Sara followed Rafe into a small hallway. “What’s going on?”
“Pirro announced he’s going to play poker, and Aunt Vi wants me to follow him.” He groaned, telling Sara what he thought of that idea.
“Is there any chance he really is playing poker?”
Rafe cocked his head to one side and nodded. “There’s every chance. But until we do this a few times and reassure her, this will never end.”