Deputy Lloyd: Can you tell me exactly what body part Miss Lambert referred to?

Starla Godfrey: I can tell you the only ones I’ve ever seen were Mr. Godfrey’s, God rest his soul, and they weren’t all that nice to look at. Is that what happened? Did he really choke on them? I just can’t imagine that’s a good way to go. He was such a nice young man, too. Well, I’ll say a prayer for him on Sunday that it was quick and painless. You’ll be there to join me, won’t you, Buddy?

Deputy Lloyd: Mrs. Godfrey, please sit back down, I’m not finished with the interview.

Starla Godfrey: Bo Jangles has been locked up in the house all morning and I need to take my back pills. You come to church on Sunday and we can finish our talk then. There’s a potluck after the morning service so bring something nice. And don’t be going down to Knob Grocery and just picking up a bag of cookies. What you need is a woman in your life. Someone who can make these things for you. I hear Emma Jo is single now. I always thought you two would make a lovely couple.

Deputy Lloyd: Mrs. Godfrey, we’re investigating the murder of her husband. The one that happened just a few days ago. I don’t think that’s appropriate at this point in time.

Starla Godfrey: She kept staring over at you when you were at her house the other morning. Every time you turned your back, she had her eyes on you. And those were eyes of interest.

Deputy Lloyd: They were? She was? Like, every time I turned around or just-

*Recording stopped abruptly*

CHAPTER 5

Coffee keeps me going until it’s acceptable to drink wine.

—Coffee Mug

“I don’t think this is a very good idea,” Emma Jo warns me, glancing around her living room nervously like someone is going to jump out from behind a piece of furniture and yell at her.

Which makes this idea all the better and will help calm her nerves, hopefully keeping me from taking Emma Jo’s car and driving around town until I find the asshole responsible for making her jump every time she hears a noise.

“When have I ever had a bad idea? It’s just wine, Emma Jo, not crack. You’re thirty-years-old and you’re allowed to have a glass of wine. Or ten. I’m leaning more toward the double-digit area, just so you know. And since you don’t own a coffee pot, the wine is what’s going to keep me from killing anyone,” I explain, pushing the glass of Moscato into her hand and raising one eyebrow until she brings it up to her mouth.

“Oh my. This is delicious. And did you really just ask me when you’ve ever had a bad idea? What about that time you made me go skinny dipping in Fligner’s Pond? Or when you stuffed my bra with your dad’s rolled-up gym socks?”

I laugh when she takes another huge gulp, lifting my legs up onto the couch next to her, and then taking a drink from my own glass.

After the doctor finally showed up and discharged her, I got Emma Jo’s car out of the parking garage, picked her up at the front door, and off we went. With a stop at a hardware store in Louisville and another at a liquor store, I drove her home and spent the rest of the afternoon changing her locks while she took a shower and got comfortable. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get Emma Jo to let me take her to the sheriff’s office to file a complaint and a restraining order against Jed.

While she was in the shower, I called and left a message and told them to send someone over as soon as they could. I’m hoping if I can get her to drink enough of this wine, she won’t be mad at me by the time they show up. If they show up. It’s now after six o’clock, and if someone doesn’t get here soon, I’ll march down there and raise hell. I guess there’s no better way to let Bald Knob know I’m home than by making a scene in the middle of the sheriff’s office.

“I think I’ll have some more, please,” Emma Jo says softly. “And then we can talk about all the bad ideas you came up with over the years.”

I shake myself out of my thoughts to see her holding her empty wine glass out toward me with a smile. Grabbing the bottle, I refill her glass and top off my own, setting it back down on the coffee table.

“First of all, I had no idea Fligner’s Pond was infested with leaches and that a stray dog would come up and shit on our clothes while we were swimming,” I explain. “If I recall correctly, when Sheriff Cooper caught us running naked in between houses, you did quite well telling him we were hiding behind the bushes of Mr. Landry’s house and refused to come out because we’d started a Neighborhood Watch and we weren’t allowed to leave our post.”

Emma Jo rolls her eyes, taking another drink of her wine, and I continue.

“Second, how was I supposed to know that when you changed into your white t-shirt at gym everyone would be able to see the red stripes of my dad’s socks through the material? You brought that one on yourself.”

It doesn’t take long before we’ve finished two bottles of wine while laughing and reminiscing about all the stupid stuff I convinced her to do growing up. She asks about the shop and about Benjamin, already knowing almost everything about both because my mother calls her mother two seconds after we hang up the phone. I want to ask her more about Jed and why she’s put up with his abuse for twelve years instead of talking about Benjamin, but I’d rather see the smile on her face right now than the sadness from earlier in the hospital. I open another bottle of wine and I tell her all about Liquid Crack’s franchising and Benjamin’s refusal to take no for an answer.




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