“Étienne,” Josh says, and Meredith cracks up.

“They’re teasing me because I’m the only person who calls him that,” Anna explains.

“You’re the only person allowed to call him that,” Josh says. “You and his mom.”

St. Clair smiles. “The only two ladies I need.”

“That’s sick,” Meredith says, but she’s still laughing. She has a wonderful, friendly laugh. A tiny nose ring catches the light and twinkles. Everything about her is cheerful.

It’s unreal to be surrounded here, in person, by his friends. Those faces from his artwork.

Anna is one of those naturally beautiful girls who has no idea that she’s beautiful. She dresses in jeans and T-shirts, and she has this gap-toothed smile and a bleached stripe in her long brown hair. She’s comfortable in her own skin. Her boyfriend is also beautiful, but he’s aware of it. Not that St. Clair acts like a jerk. He’s just loaded with confidence. He’s short, but it’s never gotten in his way. Nearly every girl at school was in love with him, not to mention most of the guys and half the professeurs.

But I was never in love with him. Not when Josh was around.

Anna clears her throat. “Anyway. Étienne and I—”

Josh and Meredith snicker.

Anna grins. “—work with Lola at a movie theatre. Cricket is her boyfriend, and Cricket’s twin sister is Calliope Bell. The figure skater?”

My eyebrows shoot up. “I’ve seen her face on about a billion advertisements.”

“That’s the one. She’s going for the gold.”

“And you’re all here to cheer her on?” I glance at Josh. He appears to be calm, but it’s superficial. A frenetic energy is pulsating from his core. Vibrating against me. I rub my arms, hair on end, but the others don’t seem to notice.

“Sort of.” St. Clair shrugs. It’s slow and full-bodied, very French. Maman has the same one. “Mainly we’re using it as an excuse to visit.”

I turn to Meredith. “Did you come in from Rome? That’s where you’re attending university, right?”

“Yeah.” She puts an arm around Josh and her curly head on his shoulder, but they’re clearly gestures of friendship. “When I heard everyone was coming, I couldn’t resist.”

“And you?” I don’t look at Josh. He knows the question is for him.

He can’t meet my eyes either. “Same for me, I guess. Couldn’t resist.”

St. Clair waggles his eyebrows at Josh, but the moment he sees that I’ve caught him, his expression changes to a flirtatious grin. “Aw, mate,” he says to Josh. “Admit it. You couldn’t resist me.”

Josh relaxes into a smile. “You’re like a gorgeous little bonbon.”

“Delicious in every way,” St. Clair says.

Anna rolls her eyes. “Wait until you try his creamy centre.”

St. Clair bursts into laughter as Meredith squeals. The chemistry between the four of them is as if they hadn’t spent a day apart. My heart squeezes, but it’s not from jealousy. It’s out of happiness for Josh’s sake. He leans across the table to jostle St. Clair, but he knocks against my arm instead.

“Sorry,” Josh says quickly. His voice turns strained. He sits, and the jovial mood crashes down with him, but his touch shudders through me in waves.

Longing. As fierce and powerful as ever.

I look away, not wanting him to see how badly I wish he would touch me again. And then I discover a strange apparition outside the restaurant’s window. I blink. It’s still there. In the winter, the streets of Paris are grey and the coats that walk them are black.

So this…this is like…

“The circus,” Josh says, finishing my thought out loud. “It’s like the circus has come to town.”

“Brilliant,” St. Clair says. “That must be Lola and Cricket.”

A boy and a girl enter the restaurant. The boy is ridiculously tall and skinny – far more extreme than Josh – and it’s only emphasized by the tightness of his pinstriped pants. He could almost be wearing stilts. He’s wearing a bright blue military jacket, and his wrists are covered in rainbow-coloured bracelets and rubber bands. The girl is wearing a gigantic, poufy skirt with pink and yellow and turquoise crinoline peeking out from underneath. She also has a military jacket, Vietnam-era army green, but hers has been decorated with pink glitter. And she has matching pink hair.

“Hi!” Lola plops down beside me, and her skirt fwoomps up and onto my lap. “Yikes. Sorry about that.” She smiles as she jams it underneath the table.

“How did you manage to fit all of that into a suitcase?” I’m impressed.

Her smile grows from ear to ear. “I’m a championship-level packer.”

St. Clair snorts. “She also brought three times the amount of luggage as the rest of us.”

“But she is a good packer,” Cricket says. “You’d be amazed at how much she managed to squish into those extra suitcases.”

He pulls out the chair beside her, and she reaches up with both arms to hold him as he sits down. Not because he needs steadying, but because they’re clearly in the earliest stages of love. She simply needs to touch him. They double-hold-hands below the table. I feel a sharp pang as I remember doing the same with Josh. Lola gives Cricket a kiss, square on the lips, and he looks as if he might explode from happiness.

“Hey,” Lola says, suddenly seeing Josh. “I think I saw you on TV a few months ago.”

“It’s possible,” Josh says.

“You must be Isla and Josh,” Cricket says.

I almost correct him – Oh, no, we aren’t a couple – when I realize he means Isla and Josh. Not Isla-and-Josh. I shake his extended hand, feeling sad. “And Meredith,” he says, leaning over me to shake hers.

“I like your hair,” she says.

“Thanks,” he says. It stands on end, further adding to his manic height.

“So none of you have to ask,” Lola says. “Six four. Without the hair.”

“Étienne is five four,” Anna says. “With his boots.”

“Without,” St. Clair protests. But his grin tells another story.

“You’re shorter than I thought.” I say it without thinking. “Sorry.” I wince. “I only meant you don’t seem that small.” I wince again.

“Confidence, darling.” He leans across the table and touches a finger to my cheek. “You could learn something from me, you know.”




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