“I haven’t seen him since just before his accident,” the pastry chef murmured. “Nearly a year ago now.” She paused. “Could you tell him something for me?”
“Uh-”
“Tell him to come see Serena?”
Katie nodded, thinking she could tell him all she wanted, but Cam didn’t seem the type to do anything except what he felt like doing.
Serena finally released the cookies, and free to go, Katie mindlessly ate half of them on the drive back to the lodge. The snow was piled high in berms on either side of the road, which wasn’t a problem except she felt a little claustrophobic. Or maybe that was the sugar rush. The temp had dropped, which made the roads more than a little icy and slippery. The rough going was jerking the truck around pretty good.
But she could handle it.
To ease the pre-panic attack feeling, she spoke out loud. “You’re good. Town was nice. The cookies are great and…and I wish I knew what was between Serena and Cam…”
Whatever it was, it appeared to be over. But forgotten? Not for Serena, in any case. As for Cam, she couldn’t say. She didn’t know him well enough. Well, other than he made her yearn, made her laugh, and that he looked fantastic on a snowmobile.
And that he was a hell of a kisser.
But she had to admit he was more than that, much more. She’d seen him help run Wilder Adventures, deal with clients, seen him reveal a sharp, quick wit that was as attractive as his rare smile. He’d been hurt, so damn hurt, and yet he still managed to love and trust the small, tight circle he’d surrounded himself with.
Okay, so maybe she knew him better than she’d thought-
Her front tire caught a deep, icy groove in the road, and the truck lurched violently to the left. “Oh shit, oh shit.” She fought the wheel, her entire life flashing before her eyes as the truck swerved, then slid toward a snow bank.
Okay, not her entire life, just the longest minute of her life, the one on the Santa Monica bridge. She’d slid then, too, slid right off the bridge-
Oh God. Her vision filled with black spots, not exactly conducive to driving; but just before she totally gave herself over to the panic, the truck’s tire caught some traction. In a blink, she was back on the road, heading straight. Heart pounding nearly out of her chest, glasses crooked, she stopped the truck right there in the middle of the road and dropped her head to the steering wheel while she gulped in some air. And then some more, her hand to her chest to hold in her jumping heart.
She took another moment to breathe, but she couldn’t just stay in the center of the road all day, even if she wanted to. So after a minute, she cautiously took off again. Going five miles per hour, she was grateful when no other car came up behind her so she didn’t have to speed up. When she finally pulled up in front of the lodge, she got out on shaky legs and just barely managed not to be sick.
Cam was outside with a group of teenagers, handing out and signing gear: boards, boots, T-shirts, microfleeces, etc. They were all firing questions at him, laughing and nudging each other, having a great time.
Cam was smiling too. He glanced over at her, already lifting a hand in greeting when he got a closer look at her. He instantly handed over the Sharpie to the closest kid and headed straight for her.
Telling her heart to slow down, that she was fine, fine, fine, she pasted on a smile that he didn’t buy.
“What’s the matter?”
Not quite trusting her voice, she shook her head. Nothing. I’m great. Just freaking great.
He just kept looking at her in that deep, calm way he had, and she knew she could pretend all she wanted, that she wasn’t really okay, not yet.
“Katie.” He reached for her hand, which was clammy. It was twenty-five degrees and she was sweating.
“I’m fine,” she managed, nodding now, doing her best impression of a bobblehead doll. But then he stepped a little closer, big and strong and capable, cupping the back of her neck in a warm hand. God. She wanted to be fine, she wanted that very badly, but it was hard to keep pretending with him looking at her like that, and she went from nodding to shaking it.
With a low sound of empathy, he pulled her in and stroked his hand down her back. “The truck? The roads? A flashback?”
“All of the above.” Not going to cry, not going to cry…Angrily, she swiped the one tear that escaped and sniffed.
Above her, he set his chin on her head. “It’s okay if you want to use my shirt as a tissue.”
She choked out a laugh as he’d meant her to. “I’m fine.”
“Yeah you are.” He pulled back to look into her face. “And green to boot.”
“I look good in green.” Her voice was shaking. Dammit. She cleared her throat, pretending that she had a frog in it. “Okay, well, I’m going upstairs now.”
“Give yourself a second-”
“I don’t need any more seconds.”
“Next time ask someone else to drive you-”
“No,” she said far sharper than she’d intended. “I’m not quitting my life, Cam.”
A quick flash of hurt crossed his features, but he was good, very good at masking his feelings, and it was gone when he stepped back from her. “Okay.”
She sighed. “That was rude of me. I’m sorry.”
“It’s the truth, so don’t be sorry.” When he turned from her without another word, she let out a breath and headed up the stairs to the lodge.