David shook his head to clear it, still standing outside the door wondering if he could actually go inside. He told himself for the millionth time that he needed this job and that he would do it, but he wasn’t doing anything special anymore, and he certainly wasn’t setting foot in Christian’s apartment. Taking a deep breath, he inserted his key and opened the door. Stepping inside, the room was dark and still. Thankful that Christian wasn’t up yet. He walked to the desk. He set his bag by his chair and booted up the PC, figuring he might as well catalog any of the work Christian had done in the last few days. It was his job, after all. Looking through the folders, he couldn’t find any new photographs, so he checked the calendar. Christian had had one appointment scheduled. Checking the cameras, he found the photographs and pulled them to the PC. He barely looked at them as he began the cataloguing and sorting process, afraid of what might be there. There weren’t many, and what there was appeared to be the initial shots of a shoot and then nothing. He rechecked the cameras, but there was nothing else.
Turning on the ambient studio lighting, he found the set area a mess of props and pillows. The bed had been set up, but it was a mess, and it didn’t take David very long to realize what had happened there. It appeared that instead of taking pictures, Christian had been doing something very different. Pulling the white sheets off the bed, David threw them into the hamper before putting away all the props where they belonged. At least he wasn’t going to see the rumpled sheets and fuck pillows. Checking the rest of the studio and finding nothing amiss, David returned to the desk. The calendar showed an appointment that afternoon, but nothing until then, so David reached into his bag and pulled out the memory stick that contained the pictures he’d taken.
On the large, high-resolution monitor, his pictures looked better than he thought they would, and he reviewed then, cropping some of the edges to cut things away.
“Those are very good,” Christian said from behind him, and David jumped, closing the files and removing the memory stick.
“I cleaned up the studio and catalogued the pictures from your shoot,” David said evenly. “I wasn’t sure what else you wanted me to do. I hadn’t been working on my own pictures for very long.” David put the drive in his bag and stood up. Christian’s scent filled his nose, and he flashed on the way Christian’s eyes had burned into him while they had been making… been together, and he had to get away.
“I’m glad you’re back. As you saw from the pictures, the shoot yesterday didn’t go very well,” Christian rubbed the back of his neck nervously. David wanted to say that from the condition of the bed, something seemed to have gone well, but that was none of his business. He was Christian’s assistant and nothing more. What his boss did was his own business. “I have coffee on if you’d like some,” Christian offered, and David thanked him, but shook his head.
“I’m your studio assistant, and as such, my realm lies within this room. I won’t be going into your apartment for anything. That’s your private space and I will not be going there for any reason. There have to be some lines and that’s one of them.” David moved further away from Christian, pulling open the draperies to let in some sunlight, hoping he’d feel less trapped and nervous. “What sort of session is scheduled for today?” he asked, turning back from the windows. “Do you want the bed set up again?”
Christian looked a bit shell-shocked, and David kept the smile that threatened at bay. “No. I’m thinking of just using the white background again.” Christian looked as though he didn’t feel particularly comfortable. “Look, David, I…”
“You don’t owe me an explanation,” David said as he got to work, purposely not looking at Christian. “You made your feelings plain enough the other night, and I intend to respect them. We’ll work together, nothing more.” David was already breaking down the bed, setting the pieces aside. Once he had it stowed, David pulled the white background down from the ceiling until it curved onto the floor. Retrieving the Swiffer from the closet, David dusted it down and made sure it was perfect. “Do you want anything for color?”
“I’m not sure,” Christian answered, and David watched out of the corner of his eye as Christian quietly fidgeted. David wanted to help him, but kept his mouth shut, busying himself with making sure the background was just right. “David, I probably should explain…” Christian touched his shoulder, and David moved away before glaring at Christian. He had work to do, and that simple touch felt good, too good.
“Don’t…” David said, throwing Christian a warning glance before turning away again. David checked the clock and then checked it again to make sure it hadn’t stopped. The morning was dragging on, and he could hear Christian wandering through the studio. David really had thought he could continue to work for Christian, but he hadn’t imagined how difficult it would be. Maybe he should simply quit and find another job.
After a lot of busy work and keeping his back to Christian, he heard him walk through the studio, and then the apartment door opened and closed. David breathed a sigh of relief, some of the tension flowing out of his body as he stared at the closed door from where he sat behind the desk. David tried to put thoughts of Christian out of his mind, but they came unbidden. David’s eyes closed and he could feel the way Christian had touched him, the way he’d kissed him. He felt his skin begin to tingle, and David opened his eyes, forcing himself to replay what Christian had told him as he’d sat on the edge of the bed and proceeded to dash David’s hopes just when he’d come to believe he could have the one thing he wanted most. He forced himself to replay his hurt and the way he’d felt as he’d pulled on his clothes before scampering out of the apartment after Christian had treated him like… like… David took a deep breath—like just another fuck.
David lowered his head to the desk and felt tears threaten once again, but this time it was shame. He should have known that Christian would treat him like this because David had seen him act this way with dozens of men. He’d been so stupid to think that Christian would feel anything more for him that he had for any of the other men. Granted, David had never heard Christian say the things to the other guys that he had to him, but that didn’t mean much. Christian would obviously do whatever he needed to get what he wanted. Jesus, why was that a surprise either?