“I wanted it so f**king much.” Another hot kiss against her palm.
“But you didn’t try.” No bite. No exchange of blood.
“No.” His breath blew against her flesh. “Because if I was wrong about you, if the witch and that damn seer were wrong, I wasn’t about to make you into the thing you hated.”
And she had hated the idea of vampirism. Becoming a vampire had once been her worst nightmare. Strange, because now, things all seemed so different.
“If you were dying, I wasn’t going to make you come back to me. That was the hardest thing I ever did.” His lips thinned. “Watching you die and not knowing if you’d ever open your eyes again.”
The last thing she’d seen had been him. “You left me.” The words came out as an accusation and she realized that, yeah, that had bothered her. No matter what was going on between them, no matter what secrets he’d kept—and she’d known there were secrets even then—she’d expected him to stay with her.
“I thought I was the last person you’d want to see.”
He’d been the one she wanted the most.
“I knew you needed time to adjust. Seeing me…I was afraid it would push you too much.” His gaze held hers. “But then you came to me.”
Sex.
Blood.
So much hunger.
“You weren’t afraid of me,” he said.
“I was afraid of myself.” A stark confession, one she should have given sooner. “I didn’t want to become—”
Like Grim.
Like Leo.
Like so many of the others she’d taken down over the years.
Not a monster. She hadn’t wanted to be a woman ruled by the bloodlust and lost to humanity.
“You have the control, Dee. You’re not going to turn and start killing innocents.” He freed her hand and rose, moving slowly away from her. “That’s not going to happen with you. There’s no Born to take over your mind. No one to force you. There’s just…you.”
It had been just her for years. Maybe she was tired of that. She wrapped the sheet around her body. “So what happens now?” Did she go back to Night Watch? Keep hunting? While he—what? Got the hell out of town as fast as he could?
Just…you.
She’d be left alone? Again?
Only this time, she wouldn’t be looking at a few empty years before her. She’d be looking at forever.
Without him.
Shit. When had the vampire started to mean so much? Because she couldn’t breathe without tasting him. She wanted his touch, his mouth, his blood. Him. Always him.
“Pity we didn’t meet before,” she whispered. What would life have been like?
She glanced over, saw him hauling on a pair of jeans. He froze at her words, then gritted, “I wish to hell we had.”
So did she. “Simon…” What could she say? Her eyes drifted over him. Broad, strong shoulders. Muscled chest. Slim hips. So sexy. So—
Simon.
Vampire. Man.
Hers.
Dee’s breath caught. “You—you came to me because you thought I’d stop Grim.”
A nod.
“But if you just wanted to be free of him, why did you keep putting yourself between me and—” Everything. Everyone. “I can take care of myself, you know. You don’t have to jump in front of me every time things get a little dicey.” A very bad habit he seemed to have there.
He snapped the button on the jeans. Yanked up the zipper. Denied her the too pleasing sight of his still aroused flesh. “I was protecting you because you’re mine to protect.”
Okay, now she was nearly cutting the sheet with her death grip.
His eyes narrowed and he stalked around the edge of the bed. “You want to clear the air about what’s happening here? Okay. Fine.”
Uh, maybe she should yank on some clothes, too. She reached for her shirt. He grabbed her arms and pulled her against him. “This is a f**k-off talk, isn’t it? One dressed up in some kind of nice, polite chitchat.”
His eyes turned to black.
“I never told you to f**k off,” she managed, voice quiet.
“Yet.” His fingers tightened around her. “I protected you because you were mine to protect, got it? I knew I wanted you from the beginning.” He kissed her, hard, deep, and had her ni**les tightening, her sex clenching, and her toes curling. Oh, yeah. “Mine,” he gritted again. “I wasn’t going to let anyone—Grim, your demon friend, or even your witch—stand between us.”
No one was between them now. Only the thin sheet.
“The start was screwed-up.” His chin lifted. “I’m not denying that. Yeah, I lied. Yeah, I tricked you. But I’m also the man who was ready to die for you. I’m the—”
“You said you loved me.” She threw out the words.
His eyes glittered down at her.
Dee took a deep breath and tasted him. I’ll f**king love you forever.
Until Simon, no man had ever said that to her and meant it. Sure, guys would claim love all the time if they thought a quick lay was coming.
He licked his lips. “I did.”
“You meant it?” And she meant for her words to come out as a statement, not a question.
His hand rose, the strong fingers curling around her jaw. “I meant it.”
Not a lie. Not some trick to get her help. The pressure on her chest eased and warmth spilled inside her. “I want to hear you say the words again.” Because she could be stubborn, too. Neither one of them was perfect. Far, far from it.
“I. Love. You.” Almost angry.
Her heart slammed into her ribs. Standing so close, having his vamp powers, he had to feel the sudden kick. She swallowed. “Th-that’s good—”
“No, it’s not.” Definitely angry. “It’s shit. It’s me, thinking about you, all the time. Me, wanting you, every damn minute. Me, not being able to even breathe without tasting you.”
“I feel the—”
“I want to make you smile. Want to make you laugh. Because you know what, Dee? You don’t laugh. You don’t. And you should, babe. Cause you’re beautiful when you smile and when you laugh, I bet you’d take my breath away.”
He’d just taken hers.
“I want you naked, yeah. Hell yeah. But I want to hold you in the morning. Want to talk to you in the darkness. I want to look at all the days that are coming and know I’ll be spending them with you. Because if I know that, then forever sure doesn’t seem like such a bad deal.”