Connor was just as breathless from the quick but aggressive kiss. “If this guy doesn’t realize what he has, promise me you’ll come back, Cassidy.”
“What makes you so sure I’d want you too?”
He looked up and grinned mischievously. “One, you think I’m annoyingly attractive and admitted to dreaming about me. Two, you got goose bumps the second I touched you”—his eyes shifted down for a second to look at my arm, then came back to meet mine—“and still have them. And three, even though you fight it when we kiss because of your boyfriend, those high-pitched noises that come out of your throat when our lips meet and the way your body instantly reacts to mine says it all.”
My chest was heaving up and down quickly; I knew he was right and was thoroughly embarrassed and feeling guilty about it. “I think you should put me down.”
“You’re about to walk out of my life, so when you promise that you’ll come back to me if you and Gage don’t work out, I will.”
“I’m nineteen,” I blurted out.
He chuckled. “And I just turned twenty-five. Your point?”
“You’re only twenty-five? But you’re—you’re a detective. I thought you were close to thirty.”
“Do I look thirty?”
“Well, no.” I felt my cheeks redden and I looked to the side. “I just figured you had to be older to be a detective.”
“God, I like that too,” he said softly as he looked at my cheeks.
“Connor.”
His eyes snapped back to mine. “I’ve always known I wanted to be a homicide detective, so right away I started working hard for it. Only been in homicide for six months, and the youngest guy next to me is thirty-four. But regardless, I’ve seen your driver’s license; I know you’re almost twenty. Not that it matters either way; you don’t act your age. You’re mature because of what you had to live through, and if I had to guess, I’d say Gage is a bit older than you too.”
“Twenty-two,” I responded immediately.
“Have you talked to him at all since you left?”
I didn’t respond, because I hadn’t.
“Has Gage tried to call you?”
My head and eyes lifted slightly to look into his. “No.”
He nodded and leaned in so his lips were at my ear. “Cassidy, you’re in love with someone who isn’t here. He hasn’t called, and he hasn’t come looking for you. Not only that, you haven’t tried to call him either, and we’ve been talking nonstop for three days, and first thing this morning you’re in my apartment to show me something extremely important to you. Not Gage’s . . . mine. We have—whatever this is between us, I know you feel it too. So what has to happen and what can I do to convince you to stay here with me, to be with me?”
“I’m sorry, but I have to go back to him. I see how it looks for you, but you don’t understand my past with Gage.”
“Then promise me, Cassidy.”
I waited until he was looking at me again. “I promise if it doesn’t work out with Gage, I’ll come back to you, Connor. But I need to tell you, he’s it for me. So I don’t want you waiting for me to come back, all right? I won’t lie to you, Connor, you mean something to me. I agree we have something, I know that and it’s pointless to act like we don’t. Other than you, Gage is the only guy I’ve ever felt anything like this for, and if he had never entered my life, I wouldn’t be able to walk out your door right now, but he has and he changed me completely. You’ll find someone who changes you too, but it isn’t me.”
“He’s very lucky.” Connor’s eyes roamed my face for a few seconds before speaking again. “I’m guessing you want me to put you down now.”
“I’d appreciate it if you would.”
He took a step away from the wall and set me on my feet. “I do like the tattoo, Cass. I like it a lot. I’m guessing you’ve been thinking a lot since Wednesday?” When I nodded he continued. “And you’re ready to start talking, am I right?”
I smiled. “I bought a plane ticket last night; I leave in four hours. I just had to come and see you first. I wanted to show you.”
“I’m glad you did. Not glad you’re leaving though.”
“You’re an amazing guy, Connor, thank you for everything.” I leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed the corner of his mouth.
“I’d ask if I could take you to the airport, and I will if you want me to, but right now I’m going to be blunt and tell you I’m struggling with what I want and what I know you need. You already know I think you’re beautiful, but you come in wearing this, and that tattoo? Christ, Cassidy. I’ve never seen your smile this bright, and God, it’s sexy. So unless you’re ready for me to kiss you again, it would be best if I didn’t take you.”
“Then you probably shouldn’t take me,” I said with a small smile. “In a weird way, you arguing with me and letting me cry into your chest outside the coffee shop helped me more than Tyler or Gage has ever been able to. And you’re not the only one, you know. I’ll cherish these days I’ve had with you, I’ll never forget you, and I’ll always be grateful.”
“Cassidy.”
“Yeah?”
“Go, or I’m pushing you back up against the wall and this time I’m not letting you leave.” He smiled crookedly at me as his hand came to my waist.
I sidestepped toward the door. “Good-bye, Connor.”
“Bye, Cass.”
“CASSIDY, WHAT THE hell?” Jesse whispered as he stepped onto the porch and shut the door behind him. “You’ve been gone, what . . . two weeks? Gage’s a fuckin’ mess and now you’re here all of a sudden?”
“Jesse, it’s a long story. A really long story. You’ve seen Gage? When was the last time?”
“I haven’t seen him for a few days now, but every day for a while there he’d come into the shop and ask if I’d heard from you. So spill. What’s going on?”
I pressed the lock button on the fob for the SUV I went to buy after I’d taken a cab to Gage’s town home to find it completely cleared out. He’d graduated that morning, so I was guessing he was back at the ranch; I just hadn’t expected him to be gone so soon. Even with help, that was really fast to clear out a house and leave. I knew I had to get to the ranch to talk to him, but I needed to make this stop first.
“I can’t go into it all right now, but I need to talk to you about something else. Jesse, I just came into a lot of money, and I know you don’t like help but I want to help with your mom’s medical bills.”
Jesse looked at the Tahoe with wide eyes, then back to me. “First, I don’t want to know what you did to come into this money. Second, I’m stealing that car from you. Third, didn’t Gage tell you about the bills?”
“What? No, what happened with the bills?”
“Cass.” He sighed and grabbed my hand to lead me to the porch swing. “The day y’all first brought food over for us, when Gage took me outside, he said he and his dad had talked and were going to pay for all Mom’s bills. They even paid the mortgage last month.”
My heart swelled for the man I loved. I knew he had reservations when it came to Jesse, but he’d been silent about them since I told him about Isabella. Still, I’d never expected him to do something like this. “Oh, Jesse—”
“Yeah, tell me about it. And without the stress on either of us, I can see how much easier it is on Ma. Only having to concentrate on fighting the cancer has helped her a lot. It’s been a blessing. But, Cassi, tell me why you left.”
I took a deep breath in and out. “Can I come in? I grabbed some groceries so I could make you two an early dinner. I went home to see Gage, but he’s already back at the ranch. I was going to go there but it’ll be too late and I’ll need it light when I drive to find my way, so I’ll wait ’til tomorrow. If you want, you and Isabella should come with me, so Gage’s family can meet her.”
Jesse grinned. “I think we’d both like that. Why don’t you sleep here tonight, we’ll leave early tomorrow, yeah?”
I could have gone to Tyler’s, but I didn’t know if he was still in town. I hadn’t talked to him since he’d come back either. “All right, help me with these groceries. I’ll get the food started, then I’ll tell you guys everything. But first, I think I need a hug from your mom. I’ve missed her.”
His crooked grin turned into a full-blown, blinding smile that reached his dark eyes. “She’s missed you too. It’ll be good to have a Cassidy meal again.” He winked and nudged my side before helping me up and following me to my new Tahoe. “Stealing this car,” he mumbled as we approached it.
“How about this: you can have this if you give me your ’69 Camaro.”
He looked appalled. “Oh hell no.”
“That’s what I thought. I’ll keep my pretty beast, and you can keep your baby.” That car was his baby. He’d tried to sell it a hundred times to help with his mom’s bills but she would hide the keys so he couldn’t drive or sell it. I knew he would’ve in a heartbeat, but I bet he was glad he still had it.
“Stealing this car,” he breathed again, and I laughed as we shut the doors and headed back up to the house.
Chapter Sixteen
GAGE
I WAS JUST pulling up to the main house on the ranch as Dad was getting ready to start the day. He took one look at me and hung his head, let it shake to the side once, then came over to me and pulled me into a hug. One I didn’t, couldn’t, reciprocate.
“What happened?” he asked when he pulled back.
“She’s gone.” I tried to act like it didn’t bother me, but fuck, it did. My world, my heart, was gone.