“What do you mean?”
“Well, if I exert a lot or get overly excited, I burn more energy.”
Bo was rubbing his hand slowly up and down my arm and, even in these terrible circumstances, I felt a tiny flame of desire flicker to life deep in my belly.
“So when you say excited, what kinds of things do you mean?”
I heard Bo’s breath hitch in his chest. When he finally let it out, it hissed through his pursed lips.
“Let’s not talk about that right now. You’re liable to get a first hand look at what happens.”
Bo pushed me back to arm’s length and took a step away from me. When I looked into his eyes, I knew why. He was feeling the same kindling of passion that I was and he was struggling to resist it.
We were saved from further temptation when my father called my name from the living room.
I yelled in answer, mainly to keep him from coming in search of me.
“Coming!” When Bo cringed, I cast him a sheepish look. “Sorry.”
He grinned and my heart skipped a couple of beats.
“No problem. I should’ve known, being a cheerleader, that you’d have some serious lungs on you,” he teased. “I guess that’s my cue to leave, huh?”
Before I could answer, he turned and walked back to the window.
“Will I see you tomorrow?” I was anxious, almost fearful, to let him out of my sight, afraid that I wouldn’t see him again.
Bo stopped at the window, still facing away from me. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
Every fiber of my being cried out in answer, even before I could get the word off my lips. “Yes.”
Bo looked back at me and smiled, a breathtaking lift of his lips that said he was pleased with my answer. I couldn’t help but smile in return. “Then yes, you’ll see me tomorrow. I’ll call you, ok?”
“Ok,” I said, walking to the window.
“Ridley!” Dad shouted again.
I turned my head toward the door this time, so that I wouldn’t blast Bo.
“Coming!”
When I turned back to the window, Bo was gone.
CHAPTER SEVEN
The next morning, I woke with the most confused feelings I’d ever had. I was elated that Bo and I had talked. It seemed he was feeling the same thing for me that I was for him, whatever that “thing” was. But on the other hand, I was beyond distraught that he was dying and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. I ended up doing neither. Instead, I got up and showered to get ready for church.
Just over an hour later, as I walked down the aisle, I realized that it was the first time since Izzy’s death that I’d actually wanted to be there. I finally felt like I needed God, like I wanted Him in my life. I’d purposely avoided Him since the accident three years ago. I hadn’t wanted to have anything to do with God in a long, long time.
I guess it was both sad and disgusting that I would wait until I needed something to go to Him, but at least I was going. I’d been to church enough to know that going was the main thing. Most people put it off, but when they finally make up their mind to go, most of them do it when they’re at the end of their rope. Unfortunately, that’s the nature of humanity.
All through the service, I prayed intermittently, listening with half an ear to the sermon about redemption and eternal life. At the end, when the pastor performed his standard altar call, I shuffled down the pew and walked quickly up the aisle to kneel at the base of the pulpit.
With every ounce of my soul, I reached out and I begged for divine intervention for Bo. I knew that nothing was impossible for God and that if He willed it, Bo would live. I didn’t know how, but I knew it could happen, and at this point, I was willing to try virtually anything.
On the way home, I noticed that, also for the first time since Izzy’s death, I didn’t feel like a pretender. I watched Mom and Dad interact in the front seat. I listened to them tiptoe around any subject with the slightest bit of significance. It was like seeing two actors film a made-for-TV movie about the humdrum life of a humdrum southern family. There was no depth, no genuineness, no truth. There was only the façade, the superficial veneer I’d come to know so well.
Back at the house, I was surprised when Dad came knocking on my bedroom door right after we got home, telling me that I had a visitor. Not having heard an engine, I assumed it was Bo. My heart beat in an excited tap dance at the mere prospect of seeing him.
The sun was shining brightly, but it was a cool day, another indication that fall had arrived. I quickly changed into jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt that said Sweet Baby Ray’s across the front, pushed my feet into my Sketchers and hurried out the door.
My smile faltered a bit when I saw Drew standing in the foyer instead of Bo.
“Oh, Drew. Hi,” I said, trying to recover.
“Expecting someone else?”
His tone was sharp and he was eyeing me suspiciously. I doubted that anyone else would’ve been able to detect the venom in his tone, but trust me, it was there.
“No, I’m just surprised. That’s all,” I said, coming to a stop several feet from him. “What are you doing here?”
“You said we’d talk later,” he said, shrugging. “Is this ‘later’ enough?”
“Yeah,” I replied, shaking my head. “Of course.”
“Let’s take a ride,” he suggested.
A tiny twinge of apprehension shot down my spine, but I reminded myself that this was Drew. We’d dated for over a year and I knew him well. I had nothing to fear.
I thought of my phone and how Bo was supposed to be calling me today, but I knew that I shouldn’t go back to my room for it. If Bo called while I was with Drew, it was sure to make matters worse. Much worse. So, in the interest of preserving relations with Drew, I left it.
“Alright,” I finally said, preceding Drew to the door. Before I opened it, I stopped and called out to my parents. “I’m taking a ride with Drew. I’ll be back in a little while.”
I heard a mumbled acknowledgment coming from somewhere in the vicinity of the kitchen. That was about the most response I could expect, so I left.
At the car, it didn’t escape my notice that, unlike Bo, Drew didn’t bother opening the door for me. I climbed in the passenger side and he slid in behind the wheel. Wordlessly, he started the engine, pulled out of the driveway and then we sped off down the street.